fayelockwood.bsky.social
British/American
🔞 Cosplay Model
Femboy/Trap
🐭 Rat Creature
She/They/It 💜
Spicy sites ⬇️⬇️
https://linktr.ee/fayelockwood
481 posts
6,187 followers
282 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
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I'm still good friends with my ex wife, but I shouldn't have got married at 22, way too young.
I have someone else I want to marry now, but not under this government probably.
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Maybe I can take some more pictures next time?
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I'm so relieved you like the pictures so much, I still feel guilty that the video didn't pan out
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Oh hi 😳
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I'm glad I know you too, you seem really sweet
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Give me 1000 customers over 1 peer that sees my earnings as a threat to her earnings 😂
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It's been a brutal four years since the start of the pandemic, and most of the kind people I knew who started doing sexwork the same time as me crashed out or burned out from all the bullshit
Too many of the people left are cruel because hurt people hurt people.
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Never change
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:3 thank u
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I'm stuck because on the one hand it's maddening, I can't imagine taking it much longer
On the other hand, making porn is to me what making music was to my father, I need my craft to stay sane, it anchors me and is the basis that every other aspect of me needs to flourish
More important than air
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I wish I was a pornstar in 2008 instead of 2024, old internet was better
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Really I don't mind the male gaze, and I certainly have never had a problem with any of my fans.
It's the other girls, the peers, the cut throat culture and bitchy mean girl shit behind the curtain, that's what does my head in
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Oh wow, that's awesome?
I really love my porn too
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That means a lot, that's probably the most important thing to me
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Some people make bank, and I make a decent amount, definitely despise the people that think it's only about the money though
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Everybody is a celebrity and no one is, I mentioned one of the "big names" to some girls who got mega popular this year and they had no fucking clue who they were
The same way no one will remember their clout either in a few years, the half-life for being an internet celebrity is 5 seconds
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I don't try to make industry friends anymore and that keeps things simple, and it stops me from being disappointed in people.
The only thing that matters is the quality of my videos and my work ethic, everything else is a distraction from my art.
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It's why I prefer working for a studio, it's simple, I don't need to navigate a bunch of fucking twitter mean girls with an ego problem.
I just show up, do the work to a high standard, and get paid.
It's simple, it's easy, I like that.
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I don't know, I'm screaming into the void, but I worry I give the impression I'm standoffish.
But it's just because after five years of this I've seen all these patterns before, I'm so tired of these patterns, I'm bored of the machinations of the clout addicted.
I don't want to play that game.
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The amount of people who have pretended to be my friend and then softblocked me the second they get more followers is infuriating, just don't pretend, stop being fake, I'm OK with not having friends I'm not OK with people wasting my time
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Like I'm not cut out for this, I'm not in the "it's OK to be as fucking irritating as possible as long as you secure that bag" mindset, I can't be.
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I just want to be beautiful
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Merry Christmas
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I will keep trying even if I can't comprehend it ever getting better again
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I'm going to keep trying, I love what I do, even if it feels like it's slipping out of my hands.
But I guess I'm starting to become resigned to the fact that things will never work out the way I wanted them to.
I'm a failure, and I always will be, but at least I tried my best.
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*happy beeps*
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This is one of my fondest memories tbh
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It's nice that someone can hear my screaming occasionally, makes everything less maddening
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Thanks
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I think she is completely disinterested in girls who do porn 😅
Tbh, I don't even know her..
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:3 #1 pornstar still?
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No no the advice is welcome, I'm trying to keep the production relatively easy, because my goal for 2025 is 8 videos a month and... I don't wanna get overwhelmed 😂
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After nearly 5 years of chasing them, you get pretty tired, but I guess I gotta pay my dues before I'm ready for prime time
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It's a cheap halloween glove that I've wrapped in bandages, I'm trying to figure out Raziel's (Soul Reaver: Legacy of Kain) talons.
I'll either have to glue the fingers together to get the three finger look, or cut off two of the fingers?
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Expensive?