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flups.bsky.social
50% fat, 30% bosoms, 20% muppet.
1,242 posts 3,632 followers 192 following
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Posts 12 Comments 38

Ode to c*riander Down in the fiery pits of hell Growing in between Satan’s soapy buttocks Is a herb, nasty and green Oi, you soapy bastard Just stay out of my food I’d rather eat a dead dog’s arse Which has been partially chewed ©️Flups

submitted 1 hour ago • 12 comments

Did police shout “A U” at the thieves? www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

submitted 2 hours ago • 11 comments

If like me You’d like to be Lengthier than four foot three Well, did you know That you can grow Two feet on a podia tree ©️Flups

submitted 2 hours ago • 2 comments

If Theo James married Peter Kay, divorced him to marry Sebastian Coe then divorced him to marry Jay Kay he’d be Theo Kay Coe Kay. I’m a Brummie so it works.

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

My birthday is in eighteen days and I would like the following gifts please: - Greg Davies - A tame otter who loves me - Liposuction - A holiday - Cake (no mixed peel) - A gastric band or my jaw wired shut. Many thanks in advance.

submitted 1 day ago • 20 comments

Post an image you can hear.

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

I was supposed to be going on a date this evening but the gentleman in question left me a voice message this afternoon during which he called me by another woman’s name. I’m only upset because I wasted a good face mask. The date’s off, by the way.

submitted 1 day ago • 40 comments

The process of selecting a new Pope.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Lord Aldermort.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

“I wish to complain about the awful whine your dog makes whenever you leave the house” “I’m really sorry, he has separation anxi…” *interrupts*”Taste this monstrosity…*holds out glass of white wine*…it tastes like vinegar”

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

HISTORICAL FACT OF THE DAY. Eliot Ness’s brother, P, invented male genitalia. His sister, A, designed the world’s first bum hole.

submitted 2 days ago • 8 comments

Net Curtains www.worldofmoose.com/collections/...

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment