Profile avatar
fungocrat.bsky.social
Staring directly at the sun.
2,253 posts 911 followers 169 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
Posts 21 Comments 29

I cant stress this enough its so easy

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

nice discourse. do u love urself?

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

Sometimes I feel sad for all the people in this world who will never know what it is, to be a socks-and-sandals guy.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Mephistopheles, servant of the dark, came unto me and offered me dominion over all the powers of the Eart. He kept saying it that way, "Eart". He was very evasive to direct questioning but he simply would not pronounce the "h".

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

Insisting that all state authorities issue my son identity documents with a custom field so they can list "statesmanlike brow" as a physical characteristic.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Yeah, I'm on the "carnivore diet" - I'm "care'n for" others, and it nourishes me!

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Everybody loves my "decarbonise your life!" business until I hook them up to the silicon pump.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

The only way we're gonna make wokeness electorally viable is if we make "white guy with dreadlocks" a protected characteristic. Sorry.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

"STEM" is insufficient for a modern economy. We need to make it "STEAM" by adding Artifice, to ensure a supply of cunningly-wrought golden birds for the Emperor, that sing by an arrangement of valves.

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

All society's problems would be solved if we had mandatory national service but for funerals and mortuary work. Memento Mori Party, only policy in platform.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

We're going to have a hard time convincing future generations that the complete works of Algernon Charles Swinburne weren't the hallucination of a 21st century LLM.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Unless you are part of the class action lawsuit against Vitamix, I don't want to hear about your blended family. That terminology isn't for you.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Having a talk with the baby about wanting to wake Mama up before it's light out. Your true mother is the Dark, son - dwell with her a time.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

if you have ideas you will probably be in pain because all ideas are wrong

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

The new trend is to gasp while eating a juicy orange.

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

I like crosswords, but I don't agree with them using words I don't know. That's information asymmetry and both contract theory and economics teach us it can have devastating consequences.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Pick-up-sticks is a very good game, because it teaches you an important life skill. You will need to be picking up a lot of sticks, all the time, if you want to stay warm through winter.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

I believe in radical transparency. This is why I have injected myself with bioluminescent cuttlefish genes so I can emanate light of the exact same frequency as the light falling on me from above, effectively casting no shadow.

submitted 16 days ago • 2 comments

The government doesn't want you to know that you can get all the electrolytes you need just from drinking seawater.

submitted 17 days ago • 3 comments

the thing is people look at me weird when I'm eating because I get a huge mouthful and work on that for a bit and they're grossed out but what they don't get is like what if.. me and the chipmunk I invited on my podcast (simultaneously): what if you need to run from predators chipmunk: right, yeah

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

If I found a crow inside my house one morning I would raise it as my own baby. I wouldn't think twice about it.

submitted 19 days ago • 2 comments