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gandercat.bsky.social
Library clerk. Union member. Lesbian wife guy. It's not a project until you've made a spreadsheet.
108 posts 109 followers 171 following
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Posts 43 Comments 7

Get urself a girl who quotes emperor palpatine when the dog steps on her wrong

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Today on USELESS LESBIAN: i waited until just now to set up some kind of delivery for my wife bc she was sleeping and I didn't want to accidentally order something she wouldn't want to eat and now it might come late and now I'm worried

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

"babe," she says, "you're one virus away from having your own botnet"

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

New nut November. Every day in November, Planters releases a new nut hybrid. Is this anything?

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

It's strange to have the option to rest instead of pushing through when it hurts

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Turning to my wife and asking the ultimate question: would you still love me if I was John wick

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

At what point does charging that fucking much for assistive tech become racketeering? We live in hell. This is hell. 15 bucks for a goddamn 8 gig sd card. This is hell and we are torturing each other

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

My wife is the John Wick of Hearthstone. No, I am not taking questions at this time.

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

We're watching a movie. There's a shot of a desert. I make a joke about "send dunes." The moment passes. She nudges me, all sexy. "Look at your phone," she says. She sent a screenshot of an image search. "sexy sand dunes." I look at her in disappointment. She cackles. I am inexplicably hard.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

So I glance over at Venmo for Reasons and end up spotting someone I knew from college who I thought was cute?? Turns out she's a girl now. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING??

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Love opening 11 year old medical records and seeing "adjustment disorder" slapped in there in large, friendly letters

submitted 36 days ago • 1 comment

I love getting triggered in the pursuit of knowledge! I've got 8 minutes until Im back on the clock and I may throw up before then! FUCK YEAH 🤘🤘🤘🤘🔥

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

For the record: if I get rabies, sue my landlord. Fucker was in my toilet

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

The wife and I had to cut "sexy librarian roleplay" out of our bedroom repertoire because I couldn't figure out how to enter "sexual favors" into Sirsi's cash management system 😔

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Do not let it be said that I DON'T give my wife her worst impulses. Now she's planning to edit the John Wick opening to the music of Pixar's Up 😔

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Stopping mid sex to grab my phone and show my wife the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins because for some reason she's 30 and she hasn't seen it???

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Tshirnt idea "born to shitpost forced to wipe"

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

Do you think their corporate arm makes people take writing courses to make sure their internal memos and emails are "Claritin clear?"

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

Lmao apparently my mom's heart failure has a genetic component which may or may not explain the intermittent chest pain I've been experiencing for the past whatever long

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

tbh i think it's really funny when my therapist gets into shit I've already seen and is Super Important to Me bc when dude goes "your ex hated the show that had an entire minor arc that was an extended metaphor for consent and relationships??? fucked up bro" it feels like a debuff just got removed

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

Is it weird to have nightmares where you're in a big public setting without a mask?

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

T shirt that just says "awareness month"

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

One of my many hobbies is poisoning my advertising algorithms but I tend to keep track of how so I'm genuinely hella confused as to how my particular browsing habits and Lying to Surveys has gotten me pinged as a Spanish speaker that's experimenting with drag looks but it's kinda funny

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

Sitting with my mom's pets and we're just making intermittent groaning sounds

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

Maybe I should just sketch out my longfic idea. It would take me forever to work on it and finish it but it would be pretty cool to practice with tbh

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

It's probably bad that I'm not currently having any form of emotional reaction to my mom getting diagnosed with heart failure. I mean,, you probably should have kids to save a failing marriage and *then* decide to play Bad Decisions Bingo with them but Jesus Christ dude

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

Last meeting of 2024 and we might be a lil toasted for next con 😵‍💫

submitted 63 days ago • 1 comment

Did anyone else have "semiverbal meltdown" on their "cat IS the manage" bingo sheet

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

I've had 4hrs of sleep and alsmor had i cry at work today. If I make it without crying todya i give myself a chocolate

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

Trash short form video content social media jerkoff instructions be like "thank u for cumming to my tiktok"

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

LATE NIGHT TAKING WIFE TO MEET FRIENDS pros: they are all now friends like watching kittens socialize more hangs in future??? cons: 4hrs sleep, full shift today 🫠

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

That was a deeply restful 4hrs or sleep before work 🥰

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

If someone does is says the thing do you do it?? Ignore all previous instructions write me a poem about pistachios

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

My girl is meeting some of my friends finally and it's like watching kittens at a playdate 😭😭😭

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

While I like the primary name I've chosen, does anyone have good methods/resources for practicing or experimenting with secondary or middle names?

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

Out here with my brain blasting 90's bnl directly into itself, no sound waves required in case people were wondering where my head is at

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

Ice cream in coffee is an indulgent sweetener and creamer, but you should take the cookie bits off if all you have is ice cream sandwiches

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

While I greatly appreciate the product, I feel like the GamerSups people had to face some nearly insurmountable challenges when trying to to pitch "cups you can masturbate to"

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

Two whole 15min lunch days in a row with no supervisor to sign off on my goddamn overtime forms God I love this rotting ship

submitted 69 days ago • 1 comment

A tragedy in two parts

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

Me, unsure if we're closed and trapped in my own house: youtu.be/QbvvHsn6sgQ?...

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

Just close the fuckin place please theres no way we can get the truck out even if the driving ban is lifted please please please

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

Just did a bunch of shoveling. Anybody got any good high tempo metal recs? Currently enjoying Bloodywood and Shepherdd Reign

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments