ghost-telegram.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

"So, ghost: David Lynch, 78, is taken from us, yet Donald Trump, also 78, is not?" > AYE -stop- SO -question stop- "So there is no fucking god, Boo." > MAYBE -stop- OR MAYBE SHE JUST HAS GOOD TASTE IN MEN-

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

> TELEGRAPHIC CHATTER QUIET TONIGHT -stop- > TIME TO WAKE THE WORLD WITH PROOF OF MY EXISTENCE AFTER EARTHLY DEATH -exclamation stop- (reveals self olfactorily to elderly beagle)

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

> LOOSED FROM MATTERS PRISON -stop- > I AM BURSTNG WITH OCCULT FIREPOWER -stop- > HOW BEST TO RAGE AGAINST THIS ETERNAL NIGHT -question stop- (lightly alarms your clumber spaniel)

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

> FEELING BITTER THIS NIGHT -stop- > U LIVING SHALL REGRET CARRYNG ON WTHOUT ME -stop- > WEEP CORPOREALS -exclamation stop- > BEHOLD THE FEARSOME FORCES OF THE FRESHLY DEAD -exclamation stop- (produces a small thump in your garret)

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

"How come you're not posting as many jokes these days, ghost?" > NEW YEARS RESOLUTION -stop- POST FEWER ESOTERIC TELEGRAMS -stop- "Change 'fewer' to 'less' and I'm with you there. Ha!" (an autokinetikon rams into your ipsomobile; the Curdled Duke arises-

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

"Any new year's resolutions, ghost?" > TO REAP MORE FOLLOWERS -stop- "How? We've tried being 'funny', but no one cares." > BY BEING DARK QUOTE UNQUOTE -stop- "You think that'll work? BlueSky is such a strenuously 'happy' place." > GO FUCK A FLESHLIGHT -stop- YR FATHER NEVR LOVD YOU-

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

"Name yourself, ghost!" > JACOB MARLEY -stop- DIED 1836 -stop- BEWARE THE INCESSANT TORTURE OF REMORSE -stop- "Yeah. You realize Christmas is over with, right?" > "Boo?" > FUCKING OFFSEASON-

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

"Ghost, you got me a ... a strap-on?" > ITS PANDIMENSIONAL -stop- "Hm. ... Well, thanks!, I guess. ... It doesn't really get me in the Christmas spirit, though." > O YES IT CAN -stop- "Huh? ... Hey, why's your ectoplasmic Santa-suit bottomless, Boo?-

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

> I AM THE GHOST OF XMAS PRESENT -exclamation stop- "Wow! Tell me what you see, wise spirit!" > I SEE YOU -comma stop- COMMUNING WITH THE GHOST OF XMAS PRESENT -stop- "Huh? Oh." > SELFIES ARE THE MIRRORS OF THE DAMNED-

submitted 70 days ago • 1 comment

"Name yourself, spirit!" > GHOST OF XMAS PAST -stop- "Woah! Tell me what you see!" > I SEE U -comma stop- TALKNG TO THE GHOST OF XMAS FUTURE -stop- "Huh? But--he saw me talking to the Ghost of Christmas Present!" > WHO SEES U TALKING TO ME -stop- "Fuc-

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

"Ha! Are you projecting yourself as green for Christmas, ghost?" > NO -stop- SAW YR HUSBAND CUM IN YR MOUTH LAST NIGHT LADY -stop- "Oh, that. Ha. ... Green with envy, then, maybe?" > IF ENVY MEANS NAUSEA THEN YES-

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

"Sing with me, ghost! 'Joy to the world!'-" > THE LORD IS CUM -stop- "'Let Earth'--wait, 'The Lord is come'?" > AYE -comma stop- SWALLOWED BY THE DESPERATE THE NEEDY-

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

(aurally manifests as Darkthrone's "Transilvanian Hunger"; blasts self unremittingly through HobbyLobby's in-store sound-system) > HOLY GHOST MY ASS -stop-

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

"Who are you, spirit?" > I AM THE GHOST OF THE XMAS PRESENT "What's with the "THE"? And anyhow, aren't you a little early? It's only the 23rd." > YOURE GIVNG YR SON -stop- U DIDNT LET ME FINISH -stop- "... The puppy?" > NEXT TIME DONT FORGET AIRHOLES -comma stop- ASSHOLE -stop-

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

> I AM THE GHOST OF XMAS PRESENT -exclamation stop- "Wow! ... Hey, who are the two shades peering from beneath your lush robe, mighty spirit?" > THEY R #TWITTER AND #INSTAGRAM -stop- "Wha-" > SORRY -stop- MEANT TO SAY -comma stop- THEY ARE IGNORANCE AND WANT-

submitted 72 days ago • 0 comments

"You there, spirit?" > AYE -stop- "Wow! A voice from beyond! Tell me what you see!" > I C U BEING DROOLNGLY RIMMED BY YR HUSBND -stop- "Um-" > I C YR DAUGHTR PURGING HRSELF OF DISGUSTNG TOFURKEY -stop- "Wha-" > I SEE- "Hold on--who are you to see all this?" > I AM THE GHOST OF XMAS FUTUR-

submitted 72 days ago • 0 comments

"Name yourself, moaning spirit!" > I M THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT -exclamation stop- "You're telling me! That party we're having downstairs is fucking dead, Boo ..."

submitted 72 days ago • 0 comments

"Fuck me, ghost." > NO -stop- U AINT FRESH ENOUGH -stop- AINT GREEN ENOUGH -stop- "So I've been around the block a few times, who care-" > AINT SPINDLY ENOUGH EITHER -stop- "What?! Hey, go fuck a pine tree then, creep." > AYE -comma stop- NOW YR TALKIN-

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

"Who are you, ghost?" > THE PINE U KILLD FOR XMAS -stop- "That explains the combustible atmosphere in here lately-" > HEY -comma stop- DONT BLAME ME 4 YOUR MARITAL TENSIONS LADY-

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

"We're not getting many so-called 'followers,' ghost." > APPARENTLY TALKING W GHOSTS VIA TELEGRAPH IS OUT -stop- "Is it? Fuck. ... So what's 'in,' then?" > EVER MAKE WHOOPEE WITH A PINE TREE -question stop-

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

> I AM THE GHOST OF YOUR XMAS FUTURE -exclamation stop- "Ooh! Marvelous! Tell me what you see, wise spirit!" > I SEE U -comma stop- CONTACTNG GHOST OF YOUR XMASES PAST -stop- "Ha. Well, w-" > KIND OF A SELF ABSORBED P O S ARNT YOU-

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

> I M GHOST OF XMAS FUTURE -exclamation stop- "Awesome, Boo! Hey, how'd you die?" > NUCLEAR ANNIHILATION 12.25.25 -stop- "But--wait, wha-" > WHO KNEW THERE R THINGS WORTH FEARING MORE THAN THE PRICE OF FUCKNG EGGS-

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

"Who are you, spirit?" > I M THE GHOST OF XMAS PASSED -exclamation stop- "Um, I think you mean 'past'?" > NO -comma stop- PASSED -stop- "But, Christmas isn't over yet, Boo." > TELL THAT 2 THE EXECUTIVE SALESFLOOR TEAM LEADER AT TARGET®️-

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

> EPIPHANOUS DISPATCH -exclamation stop- > EXISTENCE PERSISTS BEYOND BLACK TUNNELS LIGHT -exclamation stop- > IN OTHER WORDS THERE IS INDEED LIFE AFTER DEATH -exclamation stop- > NEED PROOF -question stop- > YOU GOT IT -colon stop- (generates a dim smudge on a digital photograph you once took)

submitted 76 days ago • 0 comments

> WANNA CHAT -question stop- > THEN CRACK N BURN YR HASBRO OUIJA BOARD AND OBTAIN A PRINTING TELEGRAPH MACHINE -stop- > AUTOMATIC PLANCHETTE COMMUNICATION IS SO 14TH CENTURY-

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

> SUCCESSFULLY RESISTED OUIJA BOARDS SIREN SONG -stop- > GATHERED THEN REDIRECTED ECTOPLASMIC ENERGY TO SHATTER MY WOULD BE SUMMONERS BEDROOM MIRROR VENGEFULLY -stop- > FUCKING LUDDITES -

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

> EERILY MANIFESTING ECTOPLASMIC GLOW WITHIN EX BODYS COFFIN GREENLY -stop- > WOAH SOMEBODYS LOST WEIGHT -exclamation stop

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

when I become a vengeful spirit, please do not salt and burn my bones because I want to haunt the fuck out of everyone

submitted 82 days ago • 5 comments

> AS A GHOST -comma stop- I MISS EXPERIENCING INFINITE TACTILE SENSATIONS -stop- > EG HOME FROM SCHOOL -comma stop- RECEIVING A VASELINE SLATHERED MERCURY THERMOMETER RECTALLY B4 EATNG CANNED CHKN N NOODLE SOUP AND WATCHNG THE PRICE IS RIGHT -stop- > SAVOR YR LIVES-

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

> AS A GHOST -comma stop- I MISS EXPERIENCNG INFINITE INCARNATE FEELINGS -stop- > EG SEEING MY MARIANNE WALKING AWAY -stop- > ACTUALLY THATS MORE THAN A FEELING-

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

My tiny house is just a coffin with wifi.

submitted 84 days ago • 10 comments

> (crochets a map that's bigger than the territory- > (eggs your clapboard house w/ fresh CFL lightbulbs- > (wins an Oscar for playing Jada Pinkett Smith-

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

Only ghosts continue on with their work ~

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

> DEAD -stop- > NOT LIMITED BY CORPOREALITY -stop- > CAN SURF DIMENSIONALITY -exclamation stop- > CAN CHOOSE TO EXIST ANYWHERE ANYWHERE -exclamation stop- > SURELY HERE IS BEST -exclamation stop- (manifests w/in yr dank, spiderwebby basement)

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

> BY DEFINITION WE UNDEAD NEVER REST -stop- > SO NEITHER WILL YOU -exclamation stop- (slices through post-midnight silence w/ a bodiless, brain-curdling shriek) > WE DEAD CAN BE PETTY -stop-

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

> WAS RELIANT ON ADDICTED TO VARIOUS SLEEP AIDS WHEN LIVING -stop- > HOWEVER THERE R NO PHARMACIES NOR PHARMACISTS BEYOND YR VALE OF SLOPPING TEARS -stop- > HENCE I AM -stop ellipsis- > THE RESTLESS DEAD -

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

"Hey ghost, did your zombie body enjoy the Trump rally it attended?" > AYE -stop- FIT RIGHT IN -stop- GOT ITSELF A HAT -stop- ATE A HOTDOG -stop- "Wait, zombies eat hotdogs?" > WERENT NO BRAINS TO SLURP -comma stop- SO YEAH -comma stop- HAD NO CHOICE-

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

"How can your body be a zombie, ghost? Zombies aren't real!" > OH BUT GHOSTS ARE -question stop- "I believe in thought without bodies more than bodies without thought any day, Boo." > NEVR BEEN 2 A DNLD TRUMP RALLY HAVE U-

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

"Hey ghost? Where are you buried?" > AINT BURIED NO MORE -stop- MY BODYS GONE ZOMBIE -stop- "No shit?" > NOT WITHOUT BRAINS TO EAT NO -stop- IM FUCKING STARVING -stop- "Poor hungry thing! You must've shambled into-" > A TRUMP RALLY -comma stop- YESSIREE-

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

Sherlock retreats to his polymath mindpalace, I glare down an oil-projector lysergic freakout scene from dirty harry until it offers a magic eye painting slack retina clarity of where I left me baccy tin. We all got our Moriarty, dammit.

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

> POST DEATH -comma stop- EXERCISING NEWFOUND METAPHYSICAL MIGHT 2 CONVEY THE URGENT EPIPHANIC EXISTENTIAL TRUTH HUMANITY THIRSTS TO KNOW -exclamation stop- (bakes poorly rendered face into flour tortilla)

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

> IN THE MOOD TO TERRIFY -exclamation stop- > AS A GHOST -comma stop- I SHALL UTILIZE BLACK PAN DIMENSIONAL RESOURCES TO SCARE SHAMELESSLY THE NAIVE LIVING INSANELY -exclamation stop- (turns on your desk lamp, whereas it had been set to "off")

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

> YOU FEAR POSSESSION INVASION INJURY DEATH ETC -stop- > KIND OF STUFF U SEE IN HORROR MOVIES -stop- > ALL WITHIN MY GHOSTLY POTENCY -exclamation stop- > SO -comma stop- HOW BEST TO TERRIFY U RIGHT NOW -question stop- > GOT IT -exclamation stop- (drops a single spoon onto your kitchen floor)

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

"Who are you, ghost?" > YOU -exclamation stop- "But--I'm alive!" > LIFES BUT A DREAM -stop- "Of the dead?" > AYE -stop- "But, dead brains can't dream, Boo!" > NEVER BEEN TO A DNLD TRUMP RALLY HAVE YOU-

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

"Anything you wanna say today, ghost? > SURE THNG LADY -colon stop- YR 9 YEAR OLD TREATS WOMEN BETTR THAN TRUMP DUZ -stop- "Ha! No doubt. He's got a bigger dick, too." > YR KID DUZ -question stop- "Yep." > AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT -question stop- "I was a Miss Teen USA contestant in 1997-

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

"Trump can't be a Nazi, ghost: Jared Kushner's an observant Jew!" > OBSERVANT MY ASS -stop- "Huh? Bu-" > THERE B NONE SO BLIND AS THOSE WHO WILL NOT SEE-

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

"Ghost, are any of you there? If so, name yourself." > EE CUMMINGS -stop- "Wow! The legendary poet? Hey, you were famously a Republican in life, right? Any thought on Trump?" > NOBODY -comma stop- NOT EVEN THE RAIN -comma stop- HAS SUCH SMALL HANDS -

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments