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girlwithatail.bsky.social
This *is* my backup plan; I wanted to be a horse. •Co-host of College Town podcast on CBB World. •Hire me to: write, act, pod
16,283 posts 5,753 followers 431 following
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Posts 40 Comments 10

Sometimes I’ll say something and if it seems like it’s gone over well, I’ll say it again, right away. Unfortunately.

submitted 12 hours ago • 3 comments

No. They said they didn’t want gay money, Black money, or fat money. I’m all three. So I’m finna keep my money in my pocket where it belongs 🫶🏾

submitted 1 day ago • 34 comments

I’m not dying eggs this Easter but my eggs are dying. Does that count?

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

this show is so casual and conversationally hilarious, I had to pause this episode to remind myself these absurd people were just characters

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

What if Elon is the first autistic person RFK has ever actually met and that’s why he assumes we don’t pay taxes or go on dates

submitted 2 days ago • 109 comments

This is an obvious point, but cannot overstated. There is an enormous difference between deporting someone - where they get off a plane as a free citizen in their home country AND FUNNELING THEM INTO A BRUTAL PRISON FROM WHICH THEY HAVE NO CHANCE OF EVER EMERGING!!!

submitted 2 days ago • 1742 comments

Hmm @gavinnewsom.bsky.social from an ethical standpoint you might say the tariffs are a distraction from men being disappeared without due process. But you sound like a lot of white guys who only got upset last week when their businesses were affected so I guess it really depends on your priorities.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

There’s not a supplement on the market that doesn’t have a Facebook group about it and I’m a member of all of them. I miss the 90’s.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

I have learned they already did.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

France should ask for the Statue of Liberty back.

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

an alarm clock that sets you on fire

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

New COLLEGE TOWN feat. H Michael Croner & Rekha Shankar! Hosted by Jan & Beebo (Seth Morris!) Elderly boy bands, bearskin rug fantasies & more! Produced by @scottaukerman.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social www.comedybangbangworld.com

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I look at close to 100 stories a week and even more outside of work. I’ve done this ten years. This is among the most horrific things I’ve ever read — testimony from dying children whose access to medicine has been cut off by the Trump administration. www.npr.org/sections/goa...

submitted 4 days ago • 10 comments

Who needs death? More like, sorry I’m late, my life was flashing before my eyes again like it does all day, every day.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I hope we live a thousand lives on a thousand planets and this is just one and I’ll look back and be like, “Yeah I was tired on earth, that was a waste of time yet merely a blip in my existence” then I’ll turn into a rainbow and shoot away. But probably I’m just wasting my one precious life.

submitted 5 days ago • 5 comments

Someone once said NextDoor is the social network for dogs if they could type. It’s always “what’s that noise?” and “who’s that stranger?” which is exactly what I imagine my dogs would text other neighborhood dogs.

submitted 6 days ago • 528 comments

Even bacteria hate women. gizmodo.com/flesh-eating...

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

“Wanna feel old?” No.

submitted 588 days ago • 0 comments

Holy shit. Video posted by President Bukele’s team on X shows the moments before his press conference with Trump in which Trump tells him: “We want to do homegrown criminals next. You gotta build about five more places.” (h/t @titonka.bsky.social @michelekelemen.bsky.social)

submitted 6 days ago • 415 comments

I’m all for work/ life balance but maybe you don’t take Sunday off when you’re literally creating THE WORLD

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

Are we sure we don’t get a life reset at some point? Surely God wasn’t like, yes I made babies tear out of a too-tiny hole and added waaaay to too much testosterone to men but I’m sure these creations of mine will get it right on the first go around.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Um I invented this in 1992.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

When I say “Maybe I should go back to school” what I’m thinking is a time jump thing and getting to be in 3rd grade again.

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

I hate RFK *and* I just searched symptoms on Reddit and bought a vitamin I’ve never heard of that someone has probably used to try to cure measles. Get a girl who can do both.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I was told these people were “free speech absolutists”

submitted 10 days ago • 525 comments

I am tired of failing down and would like to try this failing up thing I hear so much about.

submitted 9 days ago • 4 comments

I dont want to live here anymore www.politico.com/news/2025/04...

submitted 9 days ago • 7 comments

“I asked ChatGP to—“ SHUT UPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

submitted 10 days ago • 6 comments

Wow they’re just letting the roaches have it.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

The hard truth is that there are some products you just can't make in America. These must be imported from elsewhere. Like chocolates, for example. American workers will always become overwhelmed by the speed of the conveyor belt. They'll end up shoving the sweets into their mouths and blouses

submitted 11 days ago • 153 comments

In Nazi Germany, the targeted population was encouraged to self-deport and the state sought to impoverish them to force them to leave.

submitted 10 days ago • 100 comments

This was so much fun!

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

New COLLEGE TOWN feat. @mattapodaca.bsky.social & @jackiejohnson.bsky.social!! Hosted by Jan & Beebo (Seth Morris!) Med spas, theoretical skateboarding, Jan’s breast milk and MORE! Produced by @scottaukerman.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social www.comedybangbangworld.com

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

He IS the national emergency.

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

And we STILL don’t have Trump’s tax returns

submitted 12 days ago • 16 comments

I came here to do two things: eat snacks and get discovered. And I’m just about outa discovered.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

I know this isn’t what it stands for but I will never hear “JFK” and not think “Jesus Fucking Krist.”

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 14 days ago • 20 comments

If I could have dinner with anyone living or dead I’d have dinner with my old digestive system.

submitted 14 days ago • 3 comments

And then the day after we protest is the day everyone explains the real purpose of protesting.

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment