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Lara Paige Turner, the original Glaive-Guisarmier. Library worker, hot mom, LGBTQTπ, semi-retired RPG dev, 'tism rizz out the wazoo. She/her. pfp by @lubchansky.bsky.social
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I bet if I was a vampire who was also a Prohibition-era rum-runner I’d get a lot of kicks yelling “you’ll never take me alive, coppers!”

Me: Why do they call this place Deep Space 9... Because I see a Deep Space 10. Major Kira: [switches phaser to kill]

This absolute icon at Canterbury Pride 🩷🤍🩵

And then ya girl ran a goddamn 5k! 🏅

They Might Be Giants fukkin’ rocked my socks. Big adventure journey down to Portland, screeching up to the venue with no dinner, all worth it to join a thousand folks singing “Doctor Worm” with their whole hearts.

I’m only halfway through, but They Might Be Giants put on a hell of a show.

What up dorks, it’s me, your queen

No real spoilers, but I was ten minutes into the Doctor Who finale when A Thing happened, and then the Doctor said a line to a person, and I had to go have a little sob. It's such a strange season of a strange show, and part of that is the way it's being deeply earnest (and deeply queer). Love it.

I suppose self-indulgent birthdayposting should come to an end soon; I was born just after midnight in the Central time zone, so I have about fifteen minutes left of the First Day of 40. It’s been a pretty good one, all things considered. Look at the swag pile!

We’ve entered into a bold new era of Lara scratching her nose and then going “ow! Fuck!”

🎂

Okay, so, what if I celebrated the first day of Pride and the last day of my 30s by spontaneously heading out and getting a nose piercing?

Flags out for Pride, fuckers! 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵 🩷🩷💜💙💙

Dolls, I got my eyebrows threaded for the very first time yesterday, and I gotta say: the ratio of "time and money spent" to "emitting a little gasp of delight when I see myself in the mirror" is just bananas. Would recommend.

Gosh, Ratthi really is God’s Dumbest Soldier, huh? (Loving Murderbot so much, and am pleased with their imagine-spot alternate takes on the book’s more abstract periods of hacking and counter-hacking).

Sometimes, an author creates a world where gay couples are not just normalized, but expected. Like. I’m reading a Regency fantasy, and everyone takes it as given that the town’s witch is in want of a wife. I get how that might appeal. But. I’m off-put. It’s sapphic, but it’s not queer, is it?

Another day, another trans person on Bluesky who I am quietly unfollowing because they are having an entirely justified public breakdown but I just fucking can't with that right now; yeah it's bad, I get it, you are not wrong, but I just can't. It's hard enough to get myself to the end of each day.

My daughter, Miley, told a joke that I would like to share. — Her: Knock knock! My wife: Who’s there? Her: Miley! My wife: Miley who? Her, aghast: … you’ve known me for over ten years!

Murderbot! Murderbot! Does whatever a murder ought! It can kill, since it’s free! It would rather just watch TV! Look out! Here comes the Murderbot!

I don’t particularly give a shit about Alex Graham, but anyone who says there is a dearth of “good art” in any medium is, at best, very bad at looking for art.

Hey has anyone invented a coffee grinder that automatically gives the beans a little spritz of water when it gets activated? Because there are coffee nerds with disposable income who would spend one thousand dollars on such a thing if it were heavy and matte black enough.

Don’t worry. We’ve got his back.

I am proposing a radical new Body Mass Index scale, and it works like this: if your body has mass, your BMI is 1, and if it doesn’t (because you are a hologram, or ghost) then your BMI is 0. I think the advantages are obvious.