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goatsofdoom.bsky.social
Misanthropic Minon of the Mundane
1,644 posts 1,577 followers 465 following
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Posts 42 Comments 7

but that’s my emotional support unhinged reply guy

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

I have a recurring nightmare in which I post dumb jokes to distract myself from the terror of being alive

submitted 11 hours ago • 9 comments

I shaved my back for this??

submitted 23 hours ago • 2 comments

You’re trying to get a foot in the door. I have one foot out the door. I guess no one is getting in or out of this convenience store.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Remember when we didn't have to worry about Civil War II or WWIII, before stupid, ignorant, delusional, and in many cases, evil people "voted in" the current administration? Good times.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

You’ll be too young to remember, but there was a time when you could wake up as many as three mornings in a row and not find the world had lost its fucking mind.

submitted 1 day ago • 49 comments

If I make it though the next 8 hours, it's a three day weekend for me. But still, the horrors persist.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Yes FB / AI, tell us what time kick off is. At the softball game.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

the "fuck you" in "have a great day" is silent

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

The ancient Sumerians never would've invented writing if they knew you people would use it to text each other filth such as "Your ass is out of this world"

submitted 2 days ago • 69 comments

Give me your Shitposters, your Thirst Trappers, your huddled Clown Girls yearning to breathe free

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

If anyone’s looking for a Canadian green card husband, hit me up. I’m basically sexless, have two cute doggies, and I do most of my crying in the car. Weirdos only.

submitted 2 days ago • 62 comments

I am become Death, destroyer of format jokes.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

"I just can't quit you" I say dramatically, walking into work

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

i go both ways (feral and unhinged)

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

What’s a little reposting between friends?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

la croix drinkers only want one thing and it's their money back

submitted 3 days ago • 13 comments

If you learn anything about these times we are living in: 1) love your kids (tell them) 2) love your friends (tell them) 3) love your person (tell them)

submitted 3 days ago • 20 comments

I didn't realize it when I bought it, but this shirt is like an explosion of salmon, orange sherbet, and the sun. Do not look upon me directly!

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

You guys seem tense.

submitted 3 days ago • 13 comments

Post a ten year old picture of yourself.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

The Wall Street Journal had better make room on the shelf for another Pulitzer.

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments

Hey little thing, let me light your candle cos mama it's kind of dark in here.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

It's raining and the ducks...the ducks seem to be starting a mosh pit.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Frolicking Ms Daisy

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I Don’t Understand A Biography

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

support the troops!! by misusing them performatively and making them sleep on the ground in their own country

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

*Willhelm screams during sex*

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments

me: may i have one vitamin vitamin bottle: how about nine me: just one please vitamin bottle: eleven it is!

submitted 5 days ago • 9 comments

(with perfect enunciation) argh

submitted 5 days ago • 3 comments

The ducks were waiting for me. Again. I disappointed the ducks. Again.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Why do we* even bother? *I

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

When I was a kid people said I was "gifted" and then when I was a teenager they were like "why are you wasting your gift" and now I think they're just happy I wear pants

submitted 5 days ago • 15 comments

Me: Please be nice. I'm doing my best Friend: Shit, this is your best? I'm so sorry. I had no idea

submitted 82 days ago • 8 comments

When im Supreme ruler of the universe, I'm banning Starbucks. Okay, maybe not, but, no more drive-thrus or shared parking lots. Only the chucklefucks who go there should be inconvenienced by the chucklefucks who go there.

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

(Extreme Al Pacino in THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE voice) Oh, I have so many names...

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Come into the light

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

How much do you think it'd cost to get a hypnotist to put you under, find all those jokes you came up with but forgot to post and schedule them...?

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Okay, yes, I play a grouchy, unfriendly person on here, but I'm actually a pussycat. A mangy, feral, rabid, tick-infested, fully-clawed, and grudge-holding, pussycat.

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

FB chiming in on a meme...

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Hall & Oat

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t need a hobby. Thinking about taking something for my headache but never actually taking anything keeps me pretty busy

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments