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goatsofdoom.bsky.social
Misanthropic Minon of the Mundane
1,633 posts 1,575 followers 464 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 41 Comments 8

support the troops!! by misusing them performatively and making them sleep on the ground in their own country

submitted 10 hours ago • 3 comments

*Willhelm screams during sex*

submitted 14 hours ago • 4 comments

me: may i have one vitamin vitamin bottle: how about nine me: just one please vitamin bottle: eleven it is!

submitted 20 hours ago • 9 comments

(with perfect enunciation) argh

submitted 20 hours ago • 3 comments

The ducks were waiting for me. Again. I disappointed the ducks. Again.

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

Why do we* even bother? *I

submitted 23 hours ago • 0 comments

When I was a kid people said I was "gifted" and then when I was a teenager they were like "why are you wasting your gift" and now I think they're just happy I wear pants

submitted 1 day ago • 14 comments

Me: Please be nice. I'm doing my best Friend: Shit, this is your best? I'm so sorry. I had no idea

submitted 78 days ago • 8 comments

When im Supreme ruler of the universe, I'm banning Starbucks. Okay, maybe not, but, no more drive-thrus or shared parking lots. Only the chucklefucks who go there should be inconvenienced by the chucklefucks who go there.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

(Extreme Al Pacino in THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE voice) Oh, I have so many names...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Come into the light

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

How much do you think it'd cost to get a hypnotist to put you under, find all those jokes you came up with but forgot to post and schedule them...?

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Okay, yes, I play a grouchy, unfriendly person on here, but I'm actually a pussycat. A mangy, feral, rabid, tick-infested, fully-clawed, and grudge-holding, pussycat.

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

FB chiming in on a meme...

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Hall & Oat

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t need a hobby. Thinking about taking something for my headache but never actually taking anything keeps me pretty busy

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

That's my weekend sorted...

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Fridays are probably kinda chill in other workplaces, huh? Huh?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I don't wanna brag, but Kamala Harris keeps telling me that Obama wants to meet me.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Someone released bugs during last night's Board of County Commissioners meeting in Charlotte NC and I need to know what kind of bugs and who did it to decide whether that's horrifying or awesome

submitted 5 days ago • 4 comments

The horn on the bus goes beep beep beep Beep beep beep Beep beep beep The horn on the bus goes beep beep beep The driver’s filled with rage

submitted 3 days ago • 7 comments

Yes, you have made a poopie. Should this be celebrated? All living things must eat, poop, and die. You have been born into dark times, my child. The wolf stands at the door, its slavering jaws eager to feed upon your destruction. Be sure to wipe. - Werner Herzog, parenting.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I could do a major earthquake today and nobody would notice

submitted 4 days ago • 7 comments

Gonna write a killer post today. Gonna be awesome. This isn't it, but ooh boy, just wait.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Today, Satan

submitted 3 days ago • 8 comments

it costs nothing to repost me and it just might save our lives

submitted 4 days ago • 7 comments

Me just having fun on the old blooski

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Them: Love yourself. Me: Have you met me?

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

I'm just glad one of these men has the nuclear codes and the other has all our personal data.

submitted 4 days ago • 1700 comments

Today is the last day of school! Man I hope I pass this time.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

FACT: humans evolved from apes, though apes deny this out of complete embarrassment.

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

I just saw an actress on a TV show credited as Whoopie Van Raam, and I thought you should know.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

gosh dang it to heck! it’s the

submitted 5 days ago • 112 comments

I don’t know who needs to hear this but when my superpower is having nothing in common with people using format jokes, it’ll be over for you bitches

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

It's amazing how a simple act of kindness can change my bad mood into a suspicious bad mood.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Well I got one word for ya! Phlegm.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

On a scale of one to coping I just ate a stick of butter.

submitted 6 days ago • 13 comments

It has literally been raining all day, and that's not right. Now here's John with Sports

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

If I get fired today, it's over for you bitches. Or whatever that joke format is...

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

It's been raining most of the day, and my dog is *very* disappointed with me.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments