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goldenseals67.bsky.social
songwriter / game show host / invented reggae
60 posts 184 followers 125 following
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Apologies for that misplaced apostrophe, folks. I’m a stickler for that crap and I lose sleep over it. But not tonight. Because tonight, I’ve let it be Löwenbräu.

TOP 5 WORST SITCOM BANDS: 5. The Jefferson’s Starship 4. Three’s Bad Company 3. Radiohead of the Class 2. TIE: M*A*S*H*makhan/ The King Crimson of Queens of the Stone Age 1. Alice (in Chains)

Should be fine.

I’m terrible at putting things off, and that’s called amateurcrastination.

Merry Christmas, you beautiful bastards. Here’s your TOP 5 WORST CHRISTMAS CROONERS: 5. Binge Crosby 4. Perry Coma 3. Nat King Coal 2. Boney Emphysema 1. Burl Hives

TOP 5 WORST MUSICAL EPIC POEMS: 5. Paradise by the Dashboard Lost 4. TIE: Hungry Like the Beowulf / The Song of Roland Orzabal 3. Don Juan Henley 2. TIE: Sir Gowan and the Green Knight /Great Big Odyssey 1. Tom Waits Land

Who can forget this Christmas classic that I did with Los Lobos and XTC? Featuring a cameo by then-2-year-old Lily Merritt. This was #8 in Greenland. thegoldenseals.bandcamp.com/album/making...

I think if there was one explorer who was reportedly pretty mean to their staff, it was probably Magellan DeGeneres.

TOP 5 WORST FOOTBALL DESSERTS: 5. Kelce Buns 4. Jerry Rice Pudding 3. Flan Tarkenton 2. TIE: Patrick Mascones / Cam "Fig" Newton 1. Jim Brownies

IDEA: Show about a guy who installs window coverings during the day but is a private investigator at night. Character's name is Roman Shades. Possibly played by the guy who played Don Draper. Just spitballin' here.

If after chopping down your own Fraser fir 🌲 Christmas tree you don’t yell “DOWN GOES FRASER! DOWN GOES FRASER! DOWN GOES FRASER!” in your best Howard Cosell voice, then I don’t know what to tell you. Whatever.

TOP 5 WORST SOLO ARTISTS: 5. Dalì Parton 4. Adelacroix 3. Cheravaggio 2. TIE: Klimt Black / Weird Albrecht Dürer 1. Modigliani Lennox

TOP 5 WORST JOHN LENNON SOLO FOOD SONGS: 5. Jello Guy 4. Give Peas a Chance 3. Instant Shawarma! 2. TIE: My Mummy’s Bread / Watching the Wheels of Cheese 1. Working Class Gyros

Some of the most traumatizing children’s books were written by Dentist Seuss.

TOP 5 WORST BEATLES CHRISTMAS SONGS: 5. A Sleigh in the Life 4. Lovely Wreatha 3. Hey Jew 2. TIE: Eleanor Figby Pudding /Can’t Buy Me Socks 1. Here Comes the Son (of God)

Customs agent asked how long I’d been abroad and I said it was just one time for about two hours at a drag show in university.

TOP 5 WORST LEGAL PROCEEDING SONGS: 5. Beast of Burden of Proof 4. Docket Full of Kryptonite 3. Purple Arraignment 2. TIE: Lien On Me / Injunction Junction 1. Dear Jurisprudence

I DID NOT KNOW THIS: Not until the final year of his career was Buck Owens able to cover his debts and change his name to Buck Allpaidupens.

TOP 5 WORST SPORTS WRITERS: 5. J.K. Bowling 4. George Blimpton 3. Tennison 2. TIE: Edgar Allan Pole Vault / Albert Canoe 1. Mark Spwing Twaining

Fug it, after a day of sad trombones & estate planning, here's my quarterly post of the greatest rock song of the 80s. Perfect from start to finish (even if Alex flubs something at 3:33, maybe?). Try not to "Night at the Roxbury" in the car to this mofo. Never shave, Dave. youtu.be/fuKDBPw8wQA?...

My cover of "Tiny Spark" by Brendan Benson and Jason Falkner won the 2020 Carnegie Medal for Heroism. It also earned me an Ovaltine sponsorship and is a large part of why I'll be able to retire at 68. thegoldenseals.bandcamp.com/track/tiny-s...

I think if there's one U2 record that is pretty trailer park and will likely be forgotten in a few months, it's probably Hawk Tuah Baby.

My first bot follower just now, so I guess this place is already as shitty as all the others.