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gordonhighland.com
Director, musician, author, purveyor of fine jokes and aphorisms http://gordonhighland.com
182 posts 88 followers 80 following
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Posts 41 Comments 9

I'm not too mature to stop verifying "Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch" before heading out, even as I skip the sign of the cross. Watch became a phone while all have grown.

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

With age increases our appreciation of a really good sandwich.

submitted 22 hours ago • 1 comment

> @ironstache.bsky.social

submitted 1 day ago • 352 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Best album title I'll never use, so offered here freely … THRILLER 2 Probably funnier once you hear it's not R&B.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I spend most of my Photoshop time undoing people's filters.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

It's like 10,000 Dews when all you need is a Sprite.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

I bet Questlove sold a lot of Sly Stone albums this week.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

leftover bacon is an oxymoron Florida Man was an oxy moron

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Wake me when we get home from Mars.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

It's so weird how we keep hearing denials of crazy executive orders that are always proven true a few days later.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

@spoofhound.bsky.social Welcome! You've got a few months of jokes to catch up on. I'm envious. 😉

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Someday, somebody's gonna make you want to turn around and say goodbye. Unfortunately, they were not a record producer.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

red be roses, blue be violets maybe those diversity fires were really your best pilots

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

To pause a group chat, simply link to something you created. Should buy a day before the fart jokes resume.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Any night can be Open Mic Night if you're brave enough.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

In lighter news, remastering all these DLR videos was essential for '80s cultural preservation. "Just a Gigolo" was probably his best, but this one made me take up guitar.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Since we're ceding to Russia, has anyone reached out to those aliens from Independence Day yet? General Zod, can you hear us? Maybe that Nightcrawler mutant. Hell, I'd deputize Howard the Duck at this point. Starlink satellites are probably jamming E.T.'s comms. Help us, Obi-Wan Kenobi, yadda.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Feels like a weird victory that iOS can't update unless space is cleared up. Bloat, baby, bloat.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

As Valentine's Day approaches, I'm reminded of this epic selection from my 2013 collection Submission Windows. It's also what I implored of the helpful shopper who just sent all my groceries spilling across the floor. #brownchickenbrowncow

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Anyone in NYC next weekend, they're going all Sunday long for a great cause. You're sure to get folked 'n' rocked and feel good doing it.

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

I have a recurring dream that my blanket shifts slightly.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Hard to spot the difference between influencer, wannabe, or satire.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Just saw a farmer say, "you don't have to admit you were wrong, you have to admit you were lied to, " and idk that seems like a good framing to call people in

submitted 15 days ago • 102 comments

"Resign" and "re-sign" are antonyms, headline writers. And "drop" means to sever a business relationship as often as it means releasing new product. That's called a contronym. SINGER RESIGNS BEFORE LABEL DROPS NEW ALBUM could be four different stories, thus clickbait.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

On iTunes's featured New Music carousel of 32 albums, I've heard of only one artist, a film composer. Expanding the full 241-album page, I've only heard of 10 artists, owning albums by just two.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

I said I wanted Taco Bell on my b-day, not my bidet!

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Holy shit, I've been on YouTube for 18 years! One could say my subscriber count and shampoo budget are inversely proportional.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Probably my generation's greatest lexical contribution.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

How exciting, @craigwallwork.bsky.social!

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Better than Vol 2? Not a chance, but most ripping nonetheless, so crank it up and tear off the knob! Others linked at the end. #MusicianSky 🎧 www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWVI...

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Funded on Kickstarter in under 24 hours, my new comic Destroying Angel Lumen is available in a 4 issue subscription. All 4 issues are 50 pages long! Giant size action, adventure in the magnificent McMillen manner! kck.st/42YfmMP

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Ow, my scrolling thumb.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Dunno where the song title came from, because I have zero Love for any of these Muskrats.

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

"anchor babies"

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

I’m all outtie. #Severance

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

How about karaoke battles, but without screen assist? Pick from a short hit list, freestyling any unknown lyrics. That's the amusing part—gotta sell it—with penalties for scatting. And now I realize I just described a band audition.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Jim Carrey starred as Mark Kendall in the 1985 vampire movie Once Bitten, a title shared with the 1987 breakthrough album from Great White, led by guitarist Mark Kendall.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Indiana Jones and the Pincers of Peril

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

2AM Mtn Dew means I'm ready for a #GranTurismo update with some new car demos and engine swaps you can find later on my YouTube. It could also just mean Thursday.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

I'm just sayin' T, why don't they just do another cease fire in LA too?

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments