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gothamcitymayor.bsky.social
Texan, educator, and nice curmudgeon. #zeitgang #MFFL #DallasWings 🌎 Chicago, IL
637 posts 219 followers 816 following
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Posts 45 Comments 4

If someone uses “seduction tactics,” I assume they don’t have hobbies.

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

Saw a roach in my kitchen wearing AirPods. Said he doesn’t hear eviction notices.

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

Pluto’s a pet. Goofy’s a dad. Disney’s playing fast and loose with species.

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

In space, no one can hear you scream…or explain crypto to your uncle.

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

Pick-up artists believe confidence is everything. Which is great, unless you’re wrong… confidently.

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

You know you’re broke when your dreams ask you for a Venmo.

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

In the Great Depression, people ate shoe leather. Now, it’s called farm-to-table.

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

The U.S. government is basically a group of people arguing over which end of the Titanic should sink first.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Free idea: Divorce Court Wrestling

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

These days, dogs have seasonal wardrobes. Meanwhile, I’m wearing jeans I bought during the Obama administration.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Free idea: WaikikiPedia - a wiki about Hawaii

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Aaron Rodgers is Throw Rogan

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

As upset as I was that she said the wrong name when she climaxed, I must admit I was impressed that she pronounced Grudzielanek correctly.

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

Cory Booker talking for 20 hours straight, about to break the record set by my 6yo niece trying to tell a joke

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Taking my phone off airplane mode to light my in-flight cigarette

submitted 7 days ago • 8 comments

Billy Joel nailed it when he said "only the good die" bc why is it never someone evil lately goddamn

submitted 6 days ago • 4 comments

The only bipartisan agreement in this country is that nobody knows how healthcare works.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Some people have a fear of heights. I have a fear of purpose.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Abolish April Fool’s day. Society has moved past the need for April Fool’s day

submitted 8 days ago • 559 comments

i love the wire first-person shooter but i worry that making every character selectable in multiplayer compromises the story's canon. in my last match i played as brother mouzone and got fragged by assistant principal marcia donnelly with a grenade launcher. that never would've happened in the show

submitted 9 days ago • 67 comments

Every star you see at night is a light that’s been dead for millions of years - so basically, it’s just like my hope.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I love this country, but it’s like loving your childhood home after it’s been turned into a vape shop.

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

Living in America feels like being in a group project where no one read the assignment and everyone still wants to lead.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

This is just a test. There is no emergency. It’s only a test. (A haiku of the Emergency Broadcast System)

submitted 8 days ago • 12 comments

Oh, The Places You'll Go (fuck yourself)!

submitted 302 days ago • 0 comments

Bro, chill. You’re from Connecticut.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Jimmy Carter spent the rest of his life doing volunteer work as penance for being the president and now I hold all of them to that standard

submitted 16 days ago • 22 comments

Turn down the radio. Turn off the television. Listen. Listen to the birds. They're talking mad shit about you, loser

submitted 16 days ago • 50 comments

mr president sir we need your voice now more than ever. what’s on your 2025 summer spotify playlist

submitted 16 days ago • 25 comments

The fabled “Great Redistribution” of generational wealth seems less and less likely as Baby Boomers grapple with the skyrocketing cost of elder care (paying an attractive young woman to react to Steely Dan on YouTube)

submitted 16 days ago • 27 comments

sometimes I think no one could possibly hate elon musk more than I do but then I remember he has kids

submitted 15 days ago • 15 comments

The Gang Illegally Shares U.S. War Planning Details With A Journalist

submitted 15 days ago • 275 comments

anyone want to join my war group chat? it's where we plan war

submitted 15 days ago • 96 comments

That JB Pritzker sounds relevatory reflects how far a whole generation of Democratic politicians strayed from the absolute basics of electoral politics: say what you mean, act like you sincerely like your constituents, and don't constantly bring up how much you like and agree with your opponents.

submitted 15 days ago • 81 comments

This is the message federal employees receive after trying to send in their mandatory “5 bullets” email about what they did this week:

submitted 15 days ago • 230 comments

If you have not read this yet, you absolutely should www.nytimes.com/2025/03/29/o...

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

I'm sorry I'm like this, I've never been me at this point in my life before

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

when i grow up i want to stop spilling things on my clothes

submitted 15 days ago • 110 comments

Free cover band name: Reimagine Dragons

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

I’m not broke. I’m just financially... dispersed. Like a fine mist of debt swirling through the universe.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

an ass that won't quit and also cannot be easily fired due to an ironclad collectively-bargained contract, won by the ass and her union comrades

submitted 12 days ago • 15 comments

Q: Is it wrong to put God’s teachings behind a paywall? A: Catholicism has a rich, beautiful history of taking people’s money. theonion.com/what-to...

submitted 11 days ago • 57 comments

You know it's a shame that there needs to be a push in DC to save beautiful works like this of brutalist architecture from a Presidential administration that doesn't appreciate it and wants to do away with it. A new level of insanity!! #architecture #stoptrump @noahshumway.bsky.social

submitted 11 days ago • 4 comments

I think my spirit animal is a raccoon. We’re both kinda scrappy, love trash, and have no problem living rent-free if we can get away with it.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t want to just talk about community care—I want to be in it, doing the work. Looking for ways to get involved in mutual aid here in Chicago. Hit me up if you’ve got recommendations.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments