governess-of-days.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

What we are building in trauma recovery is better than anything that was possible by leaving our life on autopilot. Our autopilot was programmed by people & experiences we want to leave behind-- so every day we have to accept the hassle of taking the wheel.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

People making assumptions about us-- especially our attitudes or motives-- can be highly triggering to trauma survivors, especially if neglect is pat of our history. It echoes & deepens feelings of invisibility & being dismissed-- & can also kindle an unexpected "fight" response.

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

Forget lemons and lemonade. cPTSD fries my brain on a regular basis, so I will be rolling it in bread crumbs and making dip for next time.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I was falling asleep at my desk so I stood up and now I know that “fall asleep standing up” is actually a real thing that happens sometimes

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Yeah I know people say anxiety is bad, but mine has just been collecting all the possible things that can go wrong so far. Once it has an exhaustive catalog of every possible mishap, it’ll move on to suggesting solutions and then you better watch out.

submitted 4 days ago • 229 comments

It is Tuesday, and the great thing about Tuesday is that it is no longer Monday

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Bad things happened and I am determined to work from home tomorrow as a nervous system break. My brain cannot currently handle knowing that I have to go to the place where I do the things, but apparently just doing the things is fine and dandy.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

The "fawn" response is going to try to tell us that "keeping the peace" is more important to our relationships than authenticity-- but if we're not being authentic, our relationships aren't really relationships. They're skits. Line readings. F*ck that, you know?

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments

I recommend taking a radical no-shame, no-blame attitude toward trauma responses. They're symptoms, not "choices." I also recommend taking a radical no-excuses attitude toward catching ourselves as soon as we can & choosing compassionate, realistic responses to trauma reflexes.

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

Developing self-trust isn't about deciding we're always right. I assure you, we're not. It's about treating our own experience as a valid source of data-- which can feel like a radical, "dangerous" concept, when relationships have been shot through w/ gaslighting for years.

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

You don't need to "earn" your "right" to create or experience a life you like & value. If you can read these words, you have the "right" to recover. It's your trauma wounded nervous system & "parts" you have to convince that you're not "destined" for misery you somehow "deserve."

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments

Trauma conditioning is going to leverage our current stressors & past pain to try to convince us that it's impossible for us to create a future that includes situations & people we like & value-- but we need to be clear about the fact that this is propaganda. Utterly fake news.

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments

Realistically working our trauma recovery requires us to be real w/ ourselves about both our powerlessness AND our accountability. Trauma Brain is going to try to get us to assume either zero or total responsibly for how we feel & function-- but that's not reality. Don't bite.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

We can acknowledge exactly how hard this is, how sh*tty we feel, & how uncertain we are-- while also remaining committed to not harming, sabotaging, or killing ourselves. Don't get conned into thinking you have to choose between acknowledging the suck & working your recovery.

submitted 8 days ago • 3 comments

Me: I have a Urinary Tract Infection WebMD: And it'll be your last

submitted 7 days ago • 6 comments

The stupid bullsh*t we have to do every day needs to be observably tied to our overall goals & values-- or else we won't do it (or, we'll only do it to avoid hassle & punishment, which creates a ticking time bomb of resentment).

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Well, there goes my mother

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

On this day in history, I used massive amounts of willpower to keep from reenacting the associated massacre with various douche canoes. On this day in particular, there are no douche canoes!

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

At least I’m never more than 144 hours away from Friday

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes, it's okay to admit that you need an emotional support scone.

submitted 9 days ago • 29 comments

One thing that can be said about this planet… it has some really good food.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

I wonder how much longer my boss will buy it that I have not done the Really Stressful Things because the Less Stressful Things are TOTALLY a higher priority

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

It’s not that I wish I had more time - I wish I had more time all at once. Larger chunks of it. If I only have a couple hours between dinner and bed, it’ll take me half an hour to get into a project and then I’ll end up dragging myself away at 2AM. So instead I watch TV.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Trauma conditioning haunts & tortures us by commandeering the meanings we associate w/ events from our past & our reactions in the present. Recovery becomes sustainable when we get consistently proactive about what things mean to us & how we're gonna talk to ourselves about them.

submitted 10 days ago • 3 comments

You know how sometimes what we most need is someone to just sit w/ us, maybe even in silence, but just be w/ us in our pain, w/out judgment, w/out demands, w/ out shame? That's often what the wounded, sad parts of ourselves need from us, too. Acceptance & presence. No pressure.

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

Dental saga continues: They (very painfully) removed the cap and I was allowed to fully close my mouth for the first time since the beginning of the year. Then they (very painfully) put it back on for another month.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

When I was little, it bothered me that I would never be able to get to know every single animal on the planet on a personal level, and honestly I still think this is kind of a problem

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Today I got a shit ton of routine work done AND got myself to the dentist and remembered that isomers are a thing, which solved a minor work mystery. Not bad for a traumatized loser with zero life skills, but I still say this day had too many things in it.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

This year, get her what she really wants for Valentine’s Day. Revenge.

submitted 10 days ago • 92 comments

When we acknowledge how hurt we are, and we get clear about what caused that hurt— including the truth that we didn’t and don’t control every aspect of every situation that resulted in pain or injury to us— that’s us taking REAL “personal responsibility.”

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

Here’s the thing: we're not born knowing how to do this "recovery" work. And if we grew up in the kind of families that inflict complex trauma, we sure as hell weren’t taught how to do this work growing up. Nobody is avoiding recovery work out of laziness or stubbornness.

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

ANOTHER day?? You gotta be freaking kidding me.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

sorry for not interacting w ur interaction post i am in a constant state of fight or flight from being perceived

submitted 12 days ago • 8 comments

It is STILL only Tuesday I mean good god

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments