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granitedhuine.bsky.social
Here we go again. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaafdzld5ldha
1,323 posts 3,897 followers 1,178 following
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Posts 43 Comments 7

Might fuck around and groove tonight.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

Her: have you had the sex talk with our son yet? Me: *looks over at son wearing crocs* I think we have a few years

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

Some of you cunts lack emotional intelligence.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

It’s Friday, I am the void 🎶

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

I’ve never seen disappointment like when the waiter heard my Velcro wallet open up

submitted 7 days ago • 6 comments

She was rare, like a decent night’s sleep in 2025.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

On the calmness spectrum I'm currently at "Laura Palmer's mom"

submitted 2 days ago • 17 comments

So we're 100% entirely sure this isn't Hell?

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

Love means secretly recharging his toothbrush and he thinks its just the most amazing battery life ever

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

We're just two assholes swimming in a fish bowl......

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Just checking in to make sure everything is still awful

submitted 2 days ago • 42 comments

Maybe your dog keeps bringing you the ball back because it thinks that you enjoy throwing it.

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

Just got called kiddo, so I guess I’m putting my hair in pigtails and skipping everywhere I go today.

submitted 6 days ago • 13 comments

When you avoid US political posts

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Her: I feel like you aren't listening to me. Me: No thanks, I've already eaten.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

I don't know who's gotten more expensive with age, me or my dog.

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

Mindfulness, because who doesn’t want to learn they’ve been breathing wrong all these years?

submitted 264 days ago • 0 comments

Speed-dating, but different kinds of cake.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Whatever you do avoid eye contact at all cost

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

i love when people say “you never know” because it’s true. i don’t.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

My posts are like my cooking you don’t fucking have to add anything to it, Kevin

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

My chapstick just rolled under the bed…now the “grab your leg if it hangs over” monster will have smooth lips.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

I am no expert but I know Fuckery when I see it.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

We can't "fuck it, send" our way out of this one lads.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Who called it a vasectomy and not a "snip, snip hooray!"?

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

may switch things up by having the dog drive this morning and i’ll hang my head out the window and howl

submitted 4 days ago • 13 comments

Imagine seeing a joke post and deciding you're going to be a serious twat about it.

submitted 3 days ago • 9 comments

You know, some of my best friends are my inner monologue. The other is my cat

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

Dream big, be delusional.

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

"To the complaint, 'There are no people in these photographs,' I respond, There are always two people: the photographer and the viewer." -- Ansel Adams, born #OTD 1902

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Texting all my enemies “it’s my Friday today” just to add a little unnecessary suffering to their day.

submitted 3 days ago • 16 comments

If you’re arguing online and your opponent misuses your/you’re, you win instantly by technical knockout.

submitted 3 days ago • 22 comments

You're only fooling yourself, "nah" isn't any less no-ey than saying "no."

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

We deserve emotional support otters.

submitted 3 days ago • 10 comments

I hate you slightly less than most people. *me as a therapist

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

My body count is none of your business but here hold this shovel for me.

submitted 4 days ago • 9 comments

"Welcome to the hood" - Me adding the 20th item to my dressing table.

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

💯💯💯💯

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

cheer up, logic. society rejects me, too.

submitted 488 days ago • 0 comments

My desire to be well informed is currently at odds with my need to be detached from reality.

submitted 3 days ago • 8 comments

My Fitbit keeps reminding me to move more and, quite frankly, I don't need that kind of pressure right now.

submitted 5 days ago • 3 comments

I washed my sports bra with the Fitbit still attached and won first place in all my challenges.

submitted 3 days ago • 7 comments

wait I think it’s called Ratatouille bc he’s a rat?

submitted 4 days ago • 41 comments