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h4ckys4ck.bsky.social
Artist, dog-lover and maybe more
139 posts 27 followers 14 following
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Posts 38 Comments 12

Back on my bullshit ain’t I

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

When I was young my grandma put a sneaky £5 note in my hand but instead of closing my fingers around it to hide it she got confused and bent them the backwards instead breaking every finger

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

The best life hack there has ever been is opening a bottle of beer with another bottle of beer. It’s like chain smoking but for alcohol

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Can’t believe milk has just changed it’s name to Gay Baileys

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

When’s the white man’s MOBO’s?

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t like venison. It’s like chewy pate. Too gamey, too iron rich.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Duffy spent more weeks being kidnapped than she did in the charts

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Gary Numan is older than Gary Oldman

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Your daily reminder that Phil Spencer, once shot a deer, cried while licking its neck and then cut off its vaginas and tits and stuck them in his freezer #locationx3

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Later that night, Warwick Davis would overdose on ibuprofen

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

People conveniently forget that Kinder made cyanide pills for the nazis

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

Saddened to hear Clint Eastwood dies tomorrow

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I get the impression people think I’m AI. Well I’m not. I’m just one guy

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I am going to a place called Guildtown tomorrow. I expect it’s full of villagers

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

What I originally thought was a swollen testicle has just given birth to 9 tiny but perfectly formed testicles. Mother and balls are doing fine

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Nosferatu, feratu, nos

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Warwick Davis, contact lens repairman. No job too big #bafta

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Feel a big wank coming on

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Always two there are, no more, no less. A girth master and a girth apprentice

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Policeman changing a nappy - you will be taken into wetness protection

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Idea for a Road man greeting, - Lip balm chapstick?

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Fear Itself is a great name for a dog

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I have been known to occasionally the twain

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

YOU CANNOT WIN ANAKIN. I HAD A GREAT SLEEP LAST NIGHT. 9 HOURS SOLID. STRAIGHT THROUGH. AND WHAT’S MORE, I HAD A 250ml BOTTLE OF KEFIR NOT LESS THAN AN HOUR AGO

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I ham, therefore I thick

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

When E.T. got home he went straight upstairs and didn’t even say anything

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Started watching a lot of the History Channel recently and I’m seriously considering adding Hitler into my top 5 son of a guns

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

If everyone kept the mulled wine mug at the Xmas market instead of returning it for the deposit, they would eventually have to buy them back at double price or cease trading

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

David Blaine wrote me a cheque once but when I tried to cash it the teller pointed out he had spelled his surname ’Blane’ so it bounced. When I called him about it he told to “reach into my pocket” and I pulled out a sheet of paper with the letter ‘i’ written on it. Prick

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I did thalidomide at a party once and I swear to god I couldn’t feel my face

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

When I’m coming to town I always tell everyone to lock up their daughters but then it backfires because they do and when I get there and it’s just old women

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Top Tip. Save what you want to be a Bluesky draft, into Twitter and then just copy them over again when you’re good and ready and you think your audience might like them now

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Guys. That’s the new Wordle up now. Some of you might not be looking at the time so, it’s there now though for those of you who do, you know, the Wordle. It’s like a 24 hour window so you have the max time to do it. Or go to bed. I don’t know what’s going on in your life

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

My favourite Valentine’s Day was when Rossy walloped Bazzer up the romance-toilet whilst whistling a flick of banger off his elated melon. 😍😍😍

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Roses are red Babies are fat

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Will YOU be my valentine?

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

My gran used to write me a fake ‘pity’ valentine card every year using her left hand to disguise her writing while briskly wanking me off with her good right hand

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

We had ‘go to work on an egg’ , France had ‘Crèpe for success’ Spain had, ‘Jamon it’s half ten already Pedro’

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments