harkpa.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

I recognized Bobby Flay at the airport. I must have Bobby Flaydar.

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

Brat will be one of the words of the year for 2025, but this year it will refer to the German sausage cooked the Wisconsin way, with beer and sliced onions.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

For the number of times my teen daughter says 'washed' and 'cooked', she does surprisingly little washing or cooking.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

New Year's Resolution #3: Only sidle up to people who have 'Sidle up to me' signs taped to their backs.

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

Hamburger Helper was thought to have become extinct in the mid 1980's, around 40 years ago, but was discovered living off the coast of Jewel/Osco Aisle 4 on December 28th, 2024.

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

I don't know why, but now when people call me 'Sir' I want to poke them in the eye.

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

2025 Prediction #1: the Supreme Court will rule on the Air Bud defense.

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

New Year's Resolution #2: Anticipate my wife's periods with compassion and comfort food instead of having stupid arguments for the 168th straight month.

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

New Year's Resolution #1: start saying Godzilla instead of goddammit

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

My can opener misses Hawaiian Punch.

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

My superpower is being able to tell if two paper coffee filters are stuck together.

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

Me: I'm doughy My wife: I knead you

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

Selling huge vitamins has to be the stupidest corporate idea since the WKRP Turkey Drop.

submitted 77 days ago • 1 comment

It took forever to upload this photo.

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

An old Corolla will never shy away from letting you know who its favorite actor is.

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

Militia sounds like someone pronouncing Melissa badly.

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

Fourth anniversary of my daughter finding out the name of the band wasn't really the Pothole Surfers.

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

They're together again.

submitted 87 days ago • 0 comments

I finally figured out why my Mexican friend and I ended up listening to music and eating prickly pears instead of eating high quality fish.

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

In case a blue whale comes over for lunch, you should always have three or four hundred thousand of these on hand.

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

Rico Suave

submitted 94 days ago • 0 comments

They're both round, sweet, have seeds, and grow on trees. Why again is this supposed to be difficult?

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Hey, guy who went before me at the 4-way stop even though I arrived first. Did you do that to hurt my feelings or were you just a little unsure of who arrived first?

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

In addition to giving thanks tomorrow, I will also be giving a shit. Letting you all know in case you're interested in taking one.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

First, I denied cookies. Next, I bargained with them. After that, I was really depressed by them. That turned into anger. Now I accept cookies.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

40 - when people this old and older read 'AI' they occasionally think 'practice'.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

Carol and Pat work great if you want first names that are also verbs.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

I recommend using the Ferengi pronunciation of 'human', especially if you work in HR.

submitted 99 days ago • 1 comment

Swearallelogram

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

I finally succeded in my quest to find a supermarket item that could unintentionally be the first and last name of a person.

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

I get that the Paul - Tyson fight was controversial, but I don't understand why Charles Barkley's Capital One stunt wasn't.

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

I love it when boxes give me challenges. I'm going to go with Target in Flagstaff, AZ.

submitted 104 days ago • 0 comments

There are three types of people in this world: People who pronounce the first 't' in important as a 'd', those who pronounce it as a 't', and those who don't pronounce it at all. Explain yourselves, 'd' people.

I recognized Bobby Flay at the airport. I must have Bobby Flaydar.

Brat will be one of the words of the year for 2025, but this year it will refer to the German sausage cooked the Wisconsin way, with beer and sliced onions.

For the number of times my teen daughter says 'washed' and 'cooked', she does surprisingly little washing or cooking.

New Year's Resolution #3: Only sidle up to people who have 'Sidle up to me' signs taped to their backs.

Hamburger Helper was thought to have become extinct in the mid 1980's, around 40 years ago, but was discovered living off the coast of Jewel/Osco Aisle 4 on December 28th, 2024.

I don't know why, but now when people call me 'Sir' I want to poke them in the eye.

2025 Prediction #1: the Supreme Court will rule on the Air Bud defense.

New Year's Resolution #2: Anticipate my wife's periods with compassion and comfort food instead of having stupid arguments for the 168th straight month.

New Year's Resolution #1: start saying Godzilla instead of goddammit

My can opener misses Hawaiian Punch.

My superpower is being able to tell if two paper coffee filters are stuck together.

Me: I'm doughy My wife: I knead you

Selling huge vitamins has to be the stupidest corporate idea since the WKRP Turkey Drop.

It took forever to upload this photo.

An old Corolla will never shy away from letting you know who its favorite actor is.

Militia sounds like someone pronouncing Melissa badly.

Fourth anniversary of my daughter finding out the name of the band wasn't really the Pothole Surfers.

They're together again.

I finally figured out why my Mexican friend and I ended up listening to music and eating prickly pears instead of eating high quality fish.

In case a blue whale comes over for lunch, you should always have three or four hundred thousand of these on hand.

Rico Suave

They're both round, sweet, have seeds, and grow on trees. Why again is this supposed to be difficult?

Hey, guy who went before me at the 4-way stop even though I arrived first. Did you do that to hurt my feelings or were you just a little unsure of who arrived first?

In addition to giving thanks tomorrow, I will also be giving a shit. Letting you all know in case you're interested in taking one.

First, I denied cookies. Next, I bargained with them. After that, I was really depressed by them. That turned into anger. Now I accept cookies.

40 - when people this old and older read 'AI' they occasionally think 'practice'.

Carol and Pat work great if you want first names that are also verbs.

I recommend using the Ferengi pronunciation of 'human', especially if you work in HR.

Swearallelogram

I finally succeded in my quest to find a supermarket item that could unintentionally be the first and last name of a person.

I get that the Paul - Tyson fight was controversial, but I don't understand why Charles Barkley's Capital One stunt wasn't.

I love it when boxes give me challenges. I'm going to go with Target in Flagstaff, AZ.

There are three types of people in this world: People who pronounce the first 't' in important as a 'd', those who pronounce it as a 't', and those who don't pronounce it at all. Explain yourselves, 'd' people.

at my first rodeo I'm not sure what to do

Looking for noun-verb combinations in the supermarket. Jackpot.