Profile avatar
hawkeye0110.bsky.social
You people are all nuts... https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nbwjdzo576ogqcrjfhfzxfrv/feed/aaad5zpt6jjbm
458 posts 1,471 followers 1,237 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 40 Comments 4

Another milestone...

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Being nice to people who hate you is fucking funny

submitted 54 days ago • 9 comments

Only one song for this day youtu.be/ao-Sahfy7Hg

submitted 114 days ago • 1 comment

patiently waiting for the skeets to transition from tiktok hysteria to cold weather hysteria

submitted 115 days ago • 3 comments

I woke up on the wrong side of the dead.

submitted 115 days ago • 4 comments

I can't wait to text this asshole who doesn't give a shit about me -Alcohol

submitted 117 days ago • 5 comments

Me to my wife: Gonna see a man about a horse. My daughter: YAY, WE'RE GETTING A PONY! Me: *shits pants*

submitted 117 days ago • 7 comments

Going to switch to an all grain diet so when the apocalypse hits, I don't taste gamey to the cannibals.

submitted 118 days ago • 25 comments

I got your weekend hangin right here

submitted 117 days ago • 3 comments

Please be patient: my skweet on procrastination will be up soon

submitted 116 days ago • 3 comments

Well there goes my resolution not to be seduced by a bog witch this year

submitted 116 days ago • 13 comments

Yes, it's a Ramones t-shirt. No, I do not want to talk about the Ramones.

submitted 116 days ago • 8 comments

*wakes up {{{tiktok is gone}}} *goes outside *blinks into the sun

submitted 115 days ago • 0 comments

stfu, beatnik

submitted 119 days ago • 5 comments

Nice words you got there. Are they medicinal or purely recreational?

submitted 119 days ago • 11 comments

In real life Jesus beat Thor.

submitted 120 days ago • 9 comments

i’m considering using profanity but in spanish. sounds sexier and unforgettable.

submitted 119 days ago • 22 comments

First date Her: Tell me about yourself Me: Are you talking to the puppet or me?

submitted 119 days ago • 2 comments

I did strength training last night after taking an extended break. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time as I quietly pass away in stages every time I sit, stand, or exist.

submitted 119 days ago • 16 comments

Super gluing minor cuts is my love language.

submitted 119 days ago • 8 comments

A plague o' both your Barbie Dreamhouses.

submitted 120 days ago • 11 comments

The airline charged me extra for the bags under my eyes

submitted 120 days ago • 9 comments

Can we all agree to stop using raisins as an “ingredient”?

submitted 121 days ago • 7 comments

I love using words that I can't pronounce.

submitted 119 days ago • 3 comments

You guys go on ahead. I’m going to squat on the bank of this creek like a bigfoot washing mussels

submitted 119 days ago • 9 comments

This year I resolved to be more honest and forthright so I'm off to tell my friends what I really think of their babies

submitted 119 days ago • 27 comments

her: do that thing I like me: buys cheese

submitted 177 days ago • 9 comments

Adulthood sucks sometimes but at least we don’t have to play dodgeball anymore

submitted 120 days ago • 93 comments

1000% Elon Musk did magic tricks in high school to try & impress girls.

submitted 121 days ago • 4 comments

I dunno what the big deal is. I doink it all the time.

submitted 121 days ago • 2 comments

I don’t care if you’re a bot. I love you.

submitted 127 days ago • 13 comments

hot demons in your area are ready and waiting to possess you

submitted 127 days ago • 3 comments

Welcome to the same old garbage. *gestures at my account*

submitted 174 days ago • 0 comments

*beast mode* i whisper to myself as i power through every day life

submitted 123 days ago • 1 comment

Shout out to everyone who thought it was gonna turn out as they expected.

submitted 120 days ago • 3 comments

You ever go to shake something but the lid isn't all the way on and then your life is ruined?

submitted 120 days ago • 49 comments

I absolutely refuse to regain my composure.

submitted 120 days ago • 3 comments

I can write better than this but I don't want to be the one the aliens abduct and force to punch up their ultimatums.

submitted 121 days ago • 6 comments

It's that time of year when kids mistake windshield washer fluid for blue Kool-Aid. Your kid will be okay if they drink it. All it does is lower their freezing point.

submitted 127 days ago • 5 comments

I bet that stew Yoda made for Luke tasted like shit.

submitted 126 days ago • 7 comments