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helixnine.bsky.social
A pigeon trapped in a tube station, fluttering to avoid the feet of passengers, destined to fly heedless into the path of an oncoming train.
112 posts 49 followers 34 following
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Posts 34 Comments 16

Evil never truly dies. It only sleeps for a little while.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

A lot of top physicists are critical of nuclear power. And they’re super critical of what happened at Chernobyl and Fukushima.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Violence is the foundational tool of government. The foundational measure of government is how well it avoids employing violence.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Often unconsidered is Oscar Wilde’s forgotten early play The Importance of Eating Breakfast.

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

Good morning, cruel world!

submitted 18 days ago • 2 comments

I have reached the base of the mountain of cultural momentum. There appears to be an abandoned coffee shop.

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

Only a fool brings a sword to a pen-fight.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Democracy is likely to be eaten by a grue.

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

I don’t think anyone really understands me. But in fairness, the strange men in the white coats are doing the best they can.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

WWJD? JWRTFM.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Becoming gruntled, however, is evitable.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

The whole world was consumed with shadow. They watched in terror as they casually sipped their lattés.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Someday you’ll all realise just how technically not-wrong I was!

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Computer: Ten seconds to auto-destruct. Riker: Captain? Picard: Abort auto-destruct sequence. Computer: Riker, William T., do you concur? Riker: Yes! Absolutely. I do indeed concur wholeheartedly! Computer: Calling "Mom."

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Editor-in-chief: What have you got on these masked vigilantes, Harrison? Harrison: I've got "They're Heroes on a Half-Shell," sir. Editor: Damnit, Harrison, I need more to go on. You're either the journalist I need you to be or you're fired. Harrison: ..."And They're Green?" Editor: Go with it.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Imagining that your conscious self controls almost any of you is like imagining that the chef controls the patrons of a restaurant. The “self” is a very small part of a much larger thing (including the rest of the brain) and must merely cope as best it can with the demands placed upon it.

submitted 25 days ago • 1 comment

Okay, hear me out:

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Why yes, I do miss the hypothetical life of a Scottish academic that I just created for myself. I miss it very much.

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

Don’t feed your misanthropy too much; it’ll get bigger than you and you’ll get lonely.

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

After all the things I have half-assed, you’d think that I’d finally amount to a full ass. But no, this is the Zeno’s paradox of ass.

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

Me: Why is there a painting of a …space anus in your bathroom? Her: It’s actually literally a photo of someone’s asshole painted to look like space. Me: When the archaeologists find us, they will judge us without humour.

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

When people would talk about making the world “a better place for the children” I never thought to interpret it as an admission of guilt.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Taking umbrage is what happens to the receiving party when someone throws shade.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

For anyone who has ever lamented that there were no more dragons left to slay; the time has come to sharpen your swords.

submitted 34 days ago • 1 comment

As a public service: there is no one worth your time that mistakes kindness for weakness.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Original thought is a frequently contested concept. Original humour is widely known not to exist.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss those who wander the most.

submitted 35 days ago • 1 comment

Encountered a dilapidated version of this in the wild and thought to myself, “this old lang sign should be forgot.”

submitted 35 days ago • 1 comment

Everything they said it would be sure hasn’t turned out to be everything they said it would be.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

This whole situation is, respectfully, a lady horse of the evening.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Re: St. Anselm’s Ontological Proof of God: Don’t you find that things are often actually best in potentiality? Surely that’s also true of God.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

If you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss will get quite uncomfortable and ask why you’re staring.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Athleisure, like shoulder pads or bell bottoms before it, will be the stylistic damnation of our generation.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately being scammed by the raccoons of late capitalism.

submitted 35 days ago • 1 comment