Profile avatar
hellostarling.bsky.social
I’m just too soft for all of it.
143 posts 33 followers 91 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 45 Comments 5

convincing myself that it’s okay if i overeat right now because i’ll have reserves for when the food shortages start.

submitted 25 days ago • 1 comment

I’m seeing shades of the 2016 election in this Emilia Perez Oscars controversy. They’ll keep uncovering more and more disqualifying statements so you’ll think, surely they can’t win?? Then…

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

I see so many bumper stickers in Arizona that say, like, “I love the Constitution!” and I so want to walk up to their owners, say “Thank you for supporting birthright citizenship!” and watch their heads explode.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

don’t worry, guys. sean from “the real world” is on the case.

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

it’s a type of sorcery how adam scott parts his hair one way and he’s kinda nerdy-looking and he parts it another way and he’s the sexiest man alive.

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

no, see, when i said i wanted to go back to your place to look at your books, that was not a euphemism.

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

I wish I could see things as clearly in the present as I can in hindsight.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

i don’t think i could ever do psychedelics because i know what horrors my brain comes up with on 5 mg of melatonin.

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

if there’s one thing i’m gonna do, it’s send something to myself then immediately get excited by the notification.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

my love language is attention.

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

how am i just realizing what an insane name rip torn had.

submitted 65 days ago • 1 comment

what marketing genius decided to rebrand sweatpants as “joggers”? you do not jog in them; you cocoon yourself in pants twice your size for comfort. let’s just be honest here.

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve cringed at every version of myself I’ve ever been. Somewhere in the distance, future me is cringing at the person I am now.

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

we shouldn’t call them failed marriages, just completed marriages. just because a relationship didn’t last forever doesn’t make it a failure.

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

get it hot like

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

okay so this just occurred to me—when you play “fuck, marry, kill,” what is your criteria for who you’d marry? mine was always that it’s a person with whom my connection goes beyond sex. someone i can talk to. grow old with. do you think of who you’d want to have kids with?

submitted 87 days ago • 1 comment

i’ll pay full price just please stop emailing me.

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

my mom discovered bitmojis. please respect my privacy at this time.

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

If Ari wins the Oscar for part one and gets nominated again for part two, that’ll be unprecedented, right? (I know part two is largely an Elphaba showcase, but still.)

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

There’s a guy at this coffee shop with his Teams notifications on loudly and I look up every time it dings like I’m Pavlov’s fucking dog.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

I genuinely can’t tell the difference between the real cabinet picks and the jokes.

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

I’m glad I didn’t buy a bag of celebratory Doritos in preparation for Tuesday night. That really would have ruined Doritos for me.

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

One of the cruel realities of life is that the highest of highs and the lowest of lows often occur simultaneously.

submitted 112 days ago • 0 comments

Those “Country Over Party” signs hitting a little different today.

submitted 113 days ago • 0 comments

Is it Ozempic, or has she been stress-vomiting?

submitted 113 days ago • 0 comments

I didn’t put it together, and I should have, that 1973 wasn’t that long ago. There are women who remember what it was like. And they’re not going back.

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve been on so many dates that probably would have gone better had I realized they were dates.

submitted 121 days ago • 0 comments

after this election i’m deactivating all my email accounts and moving to a remote island where the dnc can’t find me.

submitted 130 days ago • 0 comments

dating is so scary in 2024. meeting a strange man in an unfamiliar place. what if he mentions crypto??

submitted 145 days ago • 0 comments

just overheard my mom tell someone she couldn’t afford to live in santa barbara because she’s “a single mom.” ma’am i am 40.

submitted 164 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t really have hope that life will get any better, but I do believe that there are still some good days ahead. And tonight, that’s enough.

submitted 171 days ago • 0 comments

What kind of mental illness is it when you won’t skip a workout because your watch will be mad at you?

submitted 179 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 181 days ago • 0 comments

do you think we all look younger than our ages nowadays because we’re basically each at least 7% microplastics?

submitted 185 days ago • 1 comment

does ACAB apply to brody from “jaws”?

submitted 185 days ago • 0 comments

I want Pete Buttigieg to succeed but I also want him to offer affordable Cameos so I can send very specific takedowns to those who have wronged me.

submitted 191 days ago • 0 comments

IT FINALLY HAPPENED. Wordle 1,155 1/6 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

submitted 194 days ago • 1 comment

Last night I groggily typed “Deck the HaLz (HArris/waLZ)” into my Notes app then promptly fell asleep.

submitted 197 days ago • 0 comments

8+ years of methodical, logical rebuttals and the thing that’s really making them lose it is calling them weird.

submitted 213 days ago • 0 comments

I ultimately think Walz gives us the best chance of winning but what I wouldn’t pay to see a VP debate between Buttigieg and Vance…

submitted 213 days ago • 0 comments

If Harris picks Walz, some graphic designer is going to have a field day with Harris/Walz for the White House.

submitted 214 days ago • 0 comments

you should have to prove your understanding of the term “unreliable narrator” before you’re allowed to read lolita.

submitted 233 days ago • 0 comments

sorry i can’t today i need to reply STOP to every fundraising text until the heat death of the universe.

submitted 243 days ago • 0 comments

I just don’t see how we undo all the damage that’s been done.

submitted 244 days ago • 0 comments

i hate when i go to someone’s instagram page to do some sleuthing and it’s all reels. i want to see what your husband looks like; don’t make me watch videos.

submitted 256 days ago • 0 comments