Profile avatar
heytocristina.bsky.social
A melancholy town where we never smile. Links: https://beacons.ai/heycristina
186 posts 234 followers 128 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 43 Comments 7

Cause you know in a moment it could all … boom.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

“Trump embarrassed during congressional address.” No, he wasn’t. I promise you, he more than likely did not see it and if he did, he didn’t care. Do better, Democrats. Please hire me if you need tips to get under their skin.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I wish I was privledged enough to sit around and sulk in pink while a tyrant literally screams from a bully pulpit.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Hey, maybe stop sending out Pelosi and the Pink Privilege Squad and actually DO SOMETHING EFFECTIVE. Holy moly, at this point yall need to hire *me* on your social media and outreach teams. I certainly couldn’t do any *worse*.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

The amount of people who say Al Green’s protest didn’t do anything, but are fully willing to take up for Nancy Pelosi sitting and sulking while wearing pink is VERY interesting. 🤨

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Night drinking

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

It’s almost like it wasn’t about eggs at all! How is this just now dawning on you?

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

I’m not Jesus, I will not forgive. 🇺🇦

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I don't have a Bugatti, but at least I'm not a 🍇ist like Andrew Tate.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I do have my Threads account back after much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Finally …

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Al Sharpton‘s blackout plan

submitted 10 days ago • 8 comments

Update: apparently I have access to Instagram again, but not Threads. I sent in an appeal with Threads but since they never TELL you what it is you did, it’s hard to defend yourself. A bit of an unfair process to ask me to explain myself when I don’t know what I did but whatever.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Heads up - Instagram suspended my account for basically no reason. I've appealed, so I'm waiting for that to come through. More here: undevoted.org/2025/02/28/6...

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Excuse me, whose pappaw is this? You need to come take him back to the home, please.

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

Honestly, same.

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

In all seriousness, ANY Democrat that votes to confirm RFK Jr. needs to be primaried hard. If you still vote to confirm him after all their warnings, you are incapable of holding a driver’s license, let alone a seat in government.

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Hey Trump voters in red states hit hardest by extreme weather: How does it feel knowing he doesn’t care about you? Enjoy dealing with those hurricanes on your own, Gulf Coast. Good luck surviving tornado season, Bible Belt. I'm sure your state's economy will handle it *just fine*.

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

Milo Rossi absolutely nailing the Elon Musk conversation. "Ever wondered what you would have done in 1930s Germany? I'll give you a hint: it's whatever you're doing right now."

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

Hey... MAGAs... c'mere. *whisper* We know it wasn't about eggs. We're just using that talking point to mock you. We know you're just in it for the hate. Have a nice day!

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

A warm cat says hello

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

"BuT TiFFanY TrUmP iZ a LAwyERRR!" Ok? So was Giuliani. 🤷‍♀ So is Alina Habba. Your point?

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

*Stars We Can't Stand: Donald Trump. You're welcome, @nickiswift.bsky.social

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

If "no thoughts, head empty" were a person.

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

POV: You’re a MAGA, and I’ve just beat you up, took your lunch money, given you a wedgie and stuffed you in a locker.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

Hey, you don't just accidentally make a salute enjoyed by Germans in 40s, particularly when you do it multiple times. Hope this helps!

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

Yes, I heard about the possibility of Enrique Tarrio (former Pee Boys chairman) being pardoned. He will end up reoffending and go right back to jail. It’s what they do. Far more concerning is Stewart Rhodes possibly being pardoned.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

Hey, Trump voters: are your Whole Foods, organic, windchime adjacent woo woo eggs a dollar yet? How bout now? Now??!!

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

Melania Trump is 100 percent a toxic boy mom obsessed with her useless son.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

Mike Johnson: "I REALLY have to pee... but JD said he would ask his wife to beat me up if I didn't hold it... ugh..." JD Vance: "Hey... that's a good looking couch over there." Melania: "I vas told Justin Truedoow would be here... " Trump: "Bla blah blah blah...."

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

ya'll, wake me up when eggs are a dollar - this was just SO important to all those ridiculous unserious people out there buying windchime adjacent woo woo eggs at Whole Foods, I'm sure households will have more eggs than they know what to do with soon!

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

Lmao TikTok 🤣 How embarrassing!

submitted 49 days ago • 1 comment

Us: *accurately reports on what Trump is doing.* Them: UR OBSESSED W/ TRUMP LOL. No, baby. You're the ones who make him your *entire* personality. We're just laughing at you. 🤷

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

Give me a higher character count so I can tell people here how much Tom MacDonald sucks! www.threads.net/@heytocristi...

submitted 50 days ago • 1 comment

Don’t know who Tom MacDonald is? I envy you, and also here’s an explanation. Give me more characters, Bluesky! www.threads.net/@heytocristi...

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

Reporter: "President Trump reportedly called you a 'smelly fartface.' Any comment?" Republican: "Clearly, he meant the Democrats are destroying America." Trump: "No, I meant you’re a smelly fartface. Now bend down." Republican: "Yes, sir!" *bends down as Trump lets one rip.*

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

The rumour about Snoop Dogg performing at Trump's inauguration is just that: a rumour, as of this writing. (And if it changes, please don’t at me, I probably already know! I don't need tons of messages about it.) I’m not going to report on baseless rumours.

submitted 51 days ago • 1 comment

Elon Musk would like you to know he's not Adrian Dittmann. I'm just passing it along. Do you believe him yet? Did this compelling evidence finally convince you?

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

Reporter: "President Trump just called your spouse a pig in lipstick." Republican: "Really? I'm sure that isn't what he meant." Trump: "No, I meant it. I even said oink oink when shown a picture of your spouse." Republican: "I know you didn't mean it. You wouldn't say that." Trump: "Oink oink."

submitted 51 days ago • 1 comment

Don’t let the GOP spin the 🌽hub sitch. It’s not about 'protecting kids.' If they were so concerned about protecting kids, they would have seen Matt Gaetz prosecuted. This is the same party obsessed with 'bathroom bills' that are impossible to enforce without, uh, checking people’s plumbing.

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

Just because Donald Trump is a convicted felon doesn't mean you have to lean into it so hard by making his portrait look like a mug shot. Also, get that damn flag off your lapel. You don't give a toss about America, and you never did. Neither do any of your zombie-like cultists.

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

It’s a new day, and Donald Trump still a ⭐️ convicted felon ⭐️!

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

So, let me see if I have this correct. A network that is allied/sympathetic to Melania Trump chose THIS as their thumbnail of her? Wow.

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

So let me see if I got this right. Yall worried about 🌽 hub when Melanie here was a tițțy model? Rules for thee, not for Trumpy, I guess.

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments