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honeybadgermel.bsky.social
Thinks too much, talks too little. Born a gold rush saloon owner in the age of technology. Go figure... https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:suhdwtoqinxndxizjc27ulko/feed/aaakejkcgubai
270 posts 879 followers 197 following
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Posts 48 Comments 2

I don’t think that years from now we’ll look back and call these the Good Old Days.

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

It’s the same old story. Boy meets girl. Girl doesn’t exist.

submitted 5 hours ago • 4 comments

People always say to follow your dreams. But my dreams are mostly about forgetting to wear pants in public, so I’m good.

submitted 11 hours ago • 1 comment

Most people are not aware of their own ignorance.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Me : "I got some new bras today. " Him : "Show me" Me *spends 20 minutes arranging bras on bed like a magazine ad* * Sends picture *

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

One day, the cat will not try to be the most annoying creature in the world. Today is not that day. Again.

submitted 11 hours ago • 1 comment

CPAP machine? You mean the precursor to a bacta tank?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Big titty Hoth girlfriend

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

- I'm leaving you. - Is it because I spend so much time online? - Yes, and I'm taking the kids. - Kids?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Most of the places I don't ever want to go back to are people.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

This season of A Comedy of Errors is starting out much worse than the first. Would not recommend.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

*reads your mind* Oh, gross...but I'd be down.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

Weird that we have to "spend" our days. Where the fuck do I go for a refund?

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

No, that's my melancholy. Get your own.

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

I don’t have regrets. I have a collection of poor decisions that I’ve rebranded as “life lessons.

submitted 6 hours ago • 18 comments

I'm at the age that whenever I see a bathroom I go in to take a pee . . . just as a precautionary measure

submitted 4 hours ago • 7 comments

Although my skeets appear random they actually contain a hidden cipher that in time will reveal the precise location of the Loch Ness monster.

submitted 6 hours ago • 3 comments

Looking forward to the ultimate weighted blanket, six feet of dirt piled on top of me.

submitted 3 hours ago • 10 comments

I’m not a pessimist - the glass is fully empty.

submitted 12 hours ago • 5 comments

5yo: I made this for you. Me: How nice! Um…what is it? 5yo: I was hoping you’d know.

submitted 12 hours ago • 3 comments

I’m if I don’t write it down I’ll forget it years old. In other news, the post-its are forming a lovely wall art piece.

submitted 12 hours ago • 2 comments

I don’t get why people are afraid of getting old. I’ve been tired of everyone’s nonsense since I was 10.

submitted 12 hours ago • 2 comments

Tincture Tailor Soldier Spy.

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

Pleased to make your acquaintance, sirs

submitted 12 hours ago • 6 comments

A light at the end of the tunnel, as we walk on the train tracks.

submitted 246 days ago • 0 comments

therapist: how did that make you feel? me: it made me feel stupid therapist: stupid is not a feeling me: okay, well that was a stupid question then therapist: me: therapist: me: therapist: me: therapist: me: therapist: I’m afraid that’s all we time for today me: have a great week

submitted 13 hours ago • 1 comment

submitted 14 hours ago • 1 comment

There’s a difference between self-confidence and arrogance. One is hot, and the other is not.

submitted 30 days ago • 3 comments

Stories of hardship went from walking uphill both ways to being devastated because you have to reset the internet router.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

There’s never been a better time than right now because right now is almost over.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Wishing somebody the life they truly deserve could be read as a blessing or a curse.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

I escaped reality once. Okay, twice. I do not recommend it.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

A large part of my life has been spent looking for a surface to put things on

submitted 509 days ago • 2 comments

I don't eat my greens, I smoke them.

submitted 17 hours ago • 1 comment

- Would you like to join our rewards program? - No. I don't believe in organized religion.

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

- … and take this stupid ring with you! - - I said LEAVE! - You still have the little box, though?

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

the masculine urge to pour all the crushed chips at the bottom of the bag into his mouth at once

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

I’m returning your promises; they’re all broken.

submitted 17 hours ago • 2 comments

“Based on a true story” means it happened more or less like this, but with ugly people.

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

I hate it when I can’t find my comfy bra and I have to waste wearing my slutty bra to work.

submitted 3 days ago • 23 comments

I admire the people that really don't give a fuck. Deep down I wish I could do that.

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

Puppies!

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

The modern day thinking of old men terrifies me

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Never go to sleep after making me angry

submitted 41 days ago • 6 comments

I don't think I have a healthy relationship with anything tbh.

submitted 435 days ago • 0 comments

I'll leave my armor on the floor

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

Watch out for people who bounce back from everything meant to destroy them, they are protected by the old gods and not to be toyed with.

submitted 14 hours ago • 6 comments

[honest phone sex] Him "What are you wearing?" Me "An old t-shirt and sweats" H "Are you horny?" M "Nah. I'm pretty tired" H "Me,too"

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment