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honeybees333.bsky.social
I am a victim to the recent hurricane damage 🌪️ I am happy I & my ferret is safe 🤠 My profile is to put a smile on your face at all cost ☺️☺️☺️
353 posts 886 followers 46 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 48 Comments 2

Cell phones should have options to change Airplane Mode to Drunk Mode. That way your drunk texts never leave your phone.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Friends are like trampolines. I've always wanted a trampoline.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

My wife keeps complaining about me wearing socks while we have sex. I suppose a condom would be better...

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons. They forgot to mention Morons.

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes I delete my posts because I am not the same person I was 4 minutes ago.

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments

Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Why aren't koalas actual bears? The don't meet the koalafications.

submitted 6 days ago • 5 comments

Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

Wait, don't move, you've got something on your face! <slap!> Yep, it's pain!

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Let's face it, instead of starting every KISS concert with "You wanted the best, you got the best!" It should be "You wanted the best but too bad, you got KISS."

submitted 6 days ago • 4 comments

A clown and a little girl walk through a dark forest. The girl says, "I'm scared!" The clown replies, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

I'm broke but not like poor broke. I'm classy type of broke. I'm broqué. 🤣

submitted 10 days ago • 4 comments

When nothing goes right, go left.

submitted 13 days ago • 2 comments

Fishtopher stuns in new photo

submitted 13 days ago • 103 comments

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his food before it was cool.

submitted 15 days ago • 4 comments

That awkward moment when you tickle someone who isn't ticklish.

submitted 16 days ago • 6 comments

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

submitted 17 days ago • 5 comments

Technically speaking, wouldn't your best friend be your worst enemy?

submitted 21 days ago • 2 comments

Out of all my body parts, my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 327 eye rolls a day.

submitted 24 days ago • 4 comments

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andy Rooney

submitted 24 days ago • 2 comments

My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition. -Indira Gandhi

submitted 24 days ago • 2 comments

What was your key motivation for this piece? The due date.

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment

Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness, hasn't been shopping at the right malls.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Next to the US army, Disney world is the largest buyer and importer of explosives in the USA (fireworks).

submitted 27 days ago • 3 comments

If the sun exploded right now, you wouldn't know about it for another eight minutes.

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

Sneezes begin when a tickling sensation in nerve endings tells the brain that there's something irritating the inner nose lining that needs to be gotten rid of.

submitted 27 days ago • 3 comments

When Columbus "discovered" the Americas, the continent was already inhabited by 90 million people, which was a third of the world's population.

submitted 28 days ago • 1 comment

Around 50% of our youth sees the future in a positive way. The other half doesn't have the money to buy the drugs.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

I once farted in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels.

submitted 30 days ago • 2 comments

Our brains are shrinking.

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

I named my hard drive "dat ass," so once a month my computer asks if I want to "back dat ass up."

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

Your brain is faster and more powerful than a supercomputer.

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

Australia has pink and purple lakes.

submitted 32 days ago • 2 comments

Scientists warn that binge-watching your favorite shows is equivalent to drug addiction. It produces a similar "high" that makes you crave the next hit like a pseudo-addiction.

submitted 33 days ago • 3 comments

I would be much more motivated to work out if I saw an after picture of myself.

submitted 36 days ago • 3 comments

Loud music causes you to drink more in less time.

submitted 36 days ago • 2 comments

Until the 1970's, The Soviet Union used a fake mental disorder (Sluggish Schizophrenia) to arrest anyone who criticized the leadership.

submitted 38 days ago • 1 comment

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. -Mark Twain

submitted 40 days ago • 1 comment

Fidgeting can burn about 350 calories a day.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments