iamcory.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Taking the kids to an indoor water park tomorrow… They think it’s because we know they love water parks, but it’s actually because I love cacophonous screams and the smell of chlorine.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I worked in radio in SF. At one point, part of my job was to record and produce a weekend show hosted by then mayor Gavin Newsom. Dude’s super chill, funny and self-aware; as well as smart and charismatic - I find charisma off-putting, but he’s different. I believe he truly is a real one. 1/

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

Therapist: Why do you think you have ADHD? Me: Well, the first thing is, I got this referral five months ago. Therapist: And the second. Me: That this conversation isn’t really happening, I’m just imagining how my first appointment will go if I can ever make the call.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

It’s funny to me when journalists get all offended when a politician is like, “That’s a gotcha question!” The journalist is always defensive, “No, it’s not!” Yes, it is. And that’s not a bad thing; it’s good journalism. They should preemptively say “Gotcha!” because they did indeed get ‘em.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Angel: What did you like best? Me: A toilet paper commercial where cartoon bears had dingleberries.

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

If I had a band, I’d name it Drones Over New Jersey, call the first album “Polio’s Revenge,” and the first track “Birds Aren’t Real.” I’d be huge. Not like Taylor Swift huge, but my song “Joe Rogan Got Elon Musk Perma-Stoned” would hit Number One for at least two weeks.

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

“Out of Bed”

submitted 94 days ago • 0 comments

“You were too preoccupied with whether you could have Ai make you a toilet face, you didn’t stop to think if you should have Ai make you a toilet face.” - Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park 8

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

ChatGPT roasts authoritarianism…

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

It just got easier…

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

I was hoping to raise my kids in the future, not the past.

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

I told my six-year-old if I found out he was lying he’d be grounded… Dude broke down crying, like hard, and confessed. I just realized he has no idea what “being grounded” means, because we’ve been using “time outs.” Now I’m wondering what horror his child-brain imagined I was threatening him with.

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

🎶 Did you ever know that your my hero…🎶 - me before I bite into a sub sandwich

submitted 117 days ago • 0 comments

ChatGPT roasts Tony Hinchcliffe

submitted 118 days ago • 0 comments

I’m raising my son to be a nihilist, but it’s hard, neither of us are very motivated.

submitted 118 days ago • 0 comments

I informed my six-year-old son that one in every two hundred Pokémon are related to this guy…

submitted 122 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t know a lot about anything, but I do know a little bit about everything. Feel free to ask me something.

submitted 122 days ago • 0 comments

Seemingly everyone: How do you know if someone’s vegan..? Don’t worry, they’ll tell ya! Ha! Someone: Would you like a hotdog? Vegan: No, thank you. Someone: Burger? Chicken? I could kill and cook that pigeon? Vegan: I appreciate it, but I don’t eat meat. Seemingly everyone: Fucking vegans, man.

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

Update: I’ve only done nothing productive for two hours and I’m going to start writing. Man, if I can’t even hit my procrastination goals….

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

I’m kind of bummed I could never be a Leather Daddy, not that I have the desire to be one (at least not right now), but I can’t stand the smell of leather, so it’s not even an option; I’ve been told I dwell too much on my limitations.

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

Is it time to get ill?

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

Kuato from Total Recall had it made, just cruising around all cozy on his twin’s stomach, popping out every so often to say some wise shit, admired by the people.

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

Most of the time the coffee hits just right… Today, well, today is an exception

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

My goal is to write 1,000 words today… But first, I need to do nothing productive for at least five hours. I hope I’ll still have time to write.

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

ChatGPT roasts Thursdays:

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

Fun Fact: E. coli is spread fecal-to-oral so if you have E. coli you know for sure you ate a little bit of someone’s poop.

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who like black licorice, and those who don’t like black licorice and are kind of dicks about it.

submitted 124 days ago • 0 comments

This may be considered questionable parenting, but I am satisfied with my decision to have my children believe, nay, know the Earth is flat, and anyone who says otherwise is either a collaborator or victim of a vast brainwashing conspiracy; they are going to have such exciting lives. I’m jealous.

submitted 124 days ago • 0 comments

The mammalian urge to just fucking lay down on the ground, no matter where you are or what you’re doing.

submitted 124 days ago • 0 comments

Science fiction writers be like: “The Dferf cyblop popped the gradug lever to forward and blupped the jiraship into vextor-space as she squawked in the nich-box, “We’re only a kriogft away from the utilopia station, so we’ll be there in, uh… fifteen minutes.”

submitted 125 days ago • 0 comments

I’m Just Trying To Satisfy My Weird* Cravings *I crave the weird

submitted 125 days ago • 0 comments

To commemorate my kids getting their flu shot… ChatGPT roasts The Flu:

submitted 125 days ago • 0 comments

On society: Will we ever be collectively smart enough to take into real, actionable consideration how collectively stupid we are? This is how science advances; it should be how society advances as well.

submitted 125 days ago • 0 comments

Whoever decided the “b” and “d” should look and sound alike, my children would like a word…

submitted 125 days ago • 0 comments

ChatGPT roasts trees:

submitted 125 days ago • 0 comments

The second day after a big night out at 45 feels like the next day when you’re 25; I barely remember yesterday, but I know I survived… somehow.

submitted 126 days ago • 0 comments