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indecisivejones.bsky.social
husband, father, animation aficionado, penguin
595 posts 5,103 followers 684 following
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Posts 42 Comments 7

why yes, I happen to know all the struggles of today’s modern women. - me, after accidentally buying a pair of sweatpants without any pockets

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

“AI is gonna take your job” I’d like to see AI drink a little too much and text all his friends about how cherished they are

submitted 23 days ago • 2 comments

that’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, fighting with a pigeon

submitted 23 days ago • 8 comments

fix your hearts or die

submitted 24 days ago • 15 comments

me: *holding a devil’s food cake* satan: me: satan: give it back…

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

[trapped inside a volcano] Me: Toddler: Me: Toddler: Be Careful... Me: *sigh* Toddler: The floor is lava...

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment

what idiot called it a wave and not standing water

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

i’m not just good at sex, i’m a

submitted 32 days ago • 5 comments

What did this person think saying this in my mentions would result in

submitted 34 days ago • 23 comments

Can a headline alone be eligible for a Pulitzer?

submitted 36 days ago • 787 comments

Me: What’s your favorite farm animal? Owen Wilson: Cow

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

Me: So is Panic! At the Disco saying it’s better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality, or poison rationality? Doctor: I meant questions about your surgery.

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

i do not trust birds that stand on one leg. what are they hiding

submitted 37 days ago • 12 comments

Me: So is Panic! At the Disco saying it’s better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality, or poison rationality? Doctor: I meant questions about your surgery.

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

if I had a boss I would simply jump on their head three times to defeat them

submitted 117 days ago • 19 comments

You ever go back and watch episodes of your kids favorite shows just to fill in all the plot points you missed? Just me then?

submitted 40 days ago • 6 comments

Who could have guessed that Neil Gaiman’s greatest work of fiction would be his kind, gentle persona? Devastated

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

you’ll never guess what this is in response to

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

coworker thought that Michael Jackson covered Alien Ant Farm’s Smooth Criminal

submitted 41 days ago • 2 comments

little disappointed blue sky doesn’t do anything like the balloons on your birthday, not gonna lie

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

Once again I am being punished for my competence

submitted 46 days ago • 10 comments

Ask yourself, "am I harder to kill than I was 8 years ago?"

submitted 46 days ago • 128 comments

it’s getting too cold for this shit

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

please stop suggesting I solve my problem by changing my behavior. I do not want to do that

submitted 48 days ago • 212 comments

I haven’t seen any naked breasts in my feeds recently, which is kind of odd. Put them back. I want someone to go through my likes one day and be shocked, then attempt to sabotage my future mayoral campaign

submitted 48 days ago • 5 comments

Misread sexual favors as sexual flavors, and now I got an idea for an adult Baskin-Robbins spin off.

submitted 52 days ago • 2 comments

interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume? me: that’s where i forgot what happened

submitted 49 days ago • 19 comments

Me: What’s your favorite farm animal? Owen Wilson: Cow

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

[watching two towers with my son] me: did you know that scene when aragorn kicks the helmet— son: yes everyone knows— me: —is when i got your mom pregnant

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

36 year old coworker just realized Funyuns are onion flavored

submitted 51 days ago • 1 comment

The first hour of the morning is when the day really starts going downhill

submitted 51 days ago • 4 comments

once you have kids they will subconsciously do everything in their power to prevent you from creating any more

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

Misread sexual favors as sexual flavors, and now I got an idea for an adult Baskin-Robbins spin off.

submitted 52 days ago • 2 comments

on the oregon trail you can die of dysentery, but on the organ trail you run the risk of tripping over a random spleen

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

ME: do you have any specials PHARMACIST: what

submitted 53 days ago • 8 comments

jokes on you New Year’s Eve, I drop the ball all the time

submitted 54 days ago • 1 comment

jokes on you New Year’s Eve, I drop the ball all the time

submitted 54 days ago • 1 comment

slightly disappointed napkins have nothing to do with sleeping

submitted 55 days ago • 1 comment

tired eyes? try new folgers eye drops

submitted 56 days ago • 1 comment

NOSFERATU (dir Robert Eggers 2024)

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

My child, when there was only one set of footprints we were masking our numbers

submitted 56 days ago • 3 comments

Share a crush with no explanation

submitted 56 days ago • 2 comments