itsjakedrummond.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Thank you for dining at Noise Rock Denny's. Today's featured menu items include our Patty Melt-Banana, Totimoshi Mochi Tots, and our signature Shellac-tose free milkshakes. All part of our Dinner for Two From Above for $19.79 special.

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

Currently experiencing a very specific quarter (more like a third, technically) life crisis. As I knock upon the door of my mid-30's, I'm reckoning with the fact that I will have to navigate that stage (and each stage thereafter) of my life as a grown-ass man with a Street Sharks tattoo.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Me: Oh sick, the Oblivion remake dropped! My CPU: We have Oblivion at home. Oblivion at home:

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

It's time for the Vatican to take a chance and make my failed pilot,"Kid Pope", a reality. Fruit punch in the fountains of St. Peter's Square.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

WrestleMania? Buddy, I've been wrestling with mania every dang day.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I always get a kick out of the stunned silence the follows when a business owner tells a confrontational conservative, "I don't want your money." They genuinely can't fathom that not everyone is as greed-driven as them, and that whatever they'd potentially spend isn't worth putting up with them.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Go, Go, Gadget Blatant Market Manipulation!

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

The dire wolves are back just in time to watch every other species slowly die off from increasingly uninhabitable ecosystems and deforestation. Totally sick, dudes!

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

I will have played 4 sessions of D&D by the end of this week and I have never felt more alive.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

the time has come for the annual fooling there is nothing to fear in the world hahahehehahaha april fool fricking got all of your asses

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Happy Trans Day of Visibility to all trans and non-conforming friends and followers! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ Also FUCK TERFS IF YOU'RE A TERF FUCK YOU

submitted 25 days ago • 8 comments

A cybertruck honked at me over the weekend and I've never felt more driven to violent rage in my entire life.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

"Looks like you're hurtin' for a Burtin'" - me, a fan of the Burt's Bees line of products, noticing you have chapped lips.

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Can't wait for the Democratic party to look at all the Bernie/AOC rallies and learn absolutely nothing from them.

submitted 34 days ago • 1 comment

My hell is an eternal flight where I have to use the lavatory and every time someone gets out, someone in a row ahead cuts me off and beats me there and the attendants are fuckin' SHARKS about waiting in the aisle for it.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

My roommate told me he slept well enough to have a dream for the first time in months, and I couldn't help but imagine that concept as the premise for a very millennial-core Def Jam bit. "Y'ALL EVER SLEEP SO GOOD YOU HAVE DREAMS? USUALLY THE EXISTENTIAL DREAD DOES THE DREAMING FOR ME! Haaamburger."

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

frantically calls the Universal CityWalk Margaritaville Hi, quick question...

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

Hakeem Jeffries thinks Drake won

submitted 50 days ago • 128 comments

Had Dems actually held a primary, there is a non-zero chance this is who would be in the White House

submitted 51 days ago • 4 comments

Milk chocolate is for children. Give me a dark chocolate with a high enough cocoa percentage to make me seem like I'm really annoying about other food too.

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

Question for anyone who has driven, is currently driving, or will ever drive a BMW: Who the FUCK do you think you are to be driving like that?!?

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

Love the energy with the boycotts today, but always get the ick when I see people commenting "Well, I live in (insert large metro area here) and I've already been only shopping at small local businesses for (insert x amount of years)" Like cool, dude. Just say you make six figures or more.

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

Waitress: Would you like to hear the specials? Customer: Sure. Waitress: 🎶Stop your messing around. Ah ah ah. Better think of your future. Ah ah ah. Time to straighten right out....🎶

submitted 60 days ago • 39 comments

Here's the thing: even if all the Nazis salutes have been "misunderstood", or "just a weird wave", it's bad to defend those guys because it's still normalizing anything that remotely resembles a Nazi salute, which emboldens the people who do Nazi salutes and mean it, whether you think so or not.

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

Considering the kind of labor I put them through, the toilets in my apartment should probably unionize.

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

Me, in hell: Ah dang it, I went to hell. Devil: Yeah sorry man Me: Yo, is that Ronald Reagan over there? Devil: Yeah. Me: Can I go beat his ass? Devil: Please do! Me: Man, this place is pretty cool actually. Devil: Thank you! I've been trying to tell people they can beat Reagan's ass here.

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

Nazi punks fuck off for sure but I'd love for nazis who like other types of music and ones who don't like music at all to also fuck off

submitted 63 days ago • 95 comments

Tom Homan's voice is the voice I use to personify my neighbor's incredibly old pug that lounges by the front gate of my apartment building and screams at passersby.

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

New content idea History Shack: A series where Fred Schneider reads famous speeches and monologues from throughout history and art in his trademark cadence. Just picture it in your head and let the giggles commence.

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

I always knew I'd have to have the "woke" argument with my parents one day, but I did not think it would be sparked through the medium of Jeff Dunham's comedy.

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

"Well, the odds are stacked against us, so I think the best course of action is to not try anything ever and just make it a million times easier for the bad guys to do bad stuff. That way, at least the secret bad guys who own them AND us can get more money while we keep pretending they don't exist."

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

BIIIIIIRDS

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

"Super Bowl Fact presented by FOX: The average ticket price of the first championship game was $12. Today's average ticket is just shy of 6 grand. Isn't that cool?!" Not really, no.

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments