Profile avatar
itsme-aedan.bsky.social
Gather 'round children. It's story time "Once upon a time there was this thing called reality. It wasn't perfect, but it also wasn't whatever the fuck this shit is."
381 posts 282 followers 260 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
Posts 15 Comments 33

Cocaine so white it's unborn kid is on a 4 year waitlist for preschool

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

-Sub par skeet, more 🤍's than deserved -Dumb skeet, too many🤍 - Cult following acct -No clue what that means -Subpar -Banger, deserves more attention -Acct who never Rs's anyone & isn't that funny -Way too thirsty -Extremely arrogant -Meh - politcal repies -Meh -Banger There. All caught up

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

Can we just stop for 5 freaking minutes? Like a worldwide timeout 🤦🏻‍♀️

submitted 82 days ago • 15 comments

Robot umpires!?!?!

submitted 106 days ago • 3 comments

🎶Ba da dum dum dum Another one gets a block. And another one gone And another one gone. Another one gets a block. Hey. Gonna get'chu too Another one gets a block🎶

submitted 107 days ago • 3 comments

I put on an extra layer of bitchy, to stay warm.

submitted 106 days ago • 6 comments

🎶Look at this trove Treasures untold How many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here you'd think Sure, she's got everything🎶 *Ariel, admiring her vaccine collection, probably

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

Pregaming in the parking lot before I go into the Gerald Ford Museum

submitted 106 days ago • 4 comments

MORE COWBELL!!! That will fix us

submitted 106 days ago • 20 comments

I want to nibble on your earlobes. After sauteeing them in some butter and garlic.

submitted 108 days ago • 8 comments

If my thoughts could kill stupid people I’d probably be a serial killer.

submitted 108 days ago • 1 comment

FanDuel now lets you bet on whether your plane will land safely.

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

Same!

submitted 108 days ago • 3 comments

Wife: Do that thing I like Me: *Duct tapes my mouth shut and makes her a grilled cheese*

submitted 108 days ago • 3 comments

Misread Doge as Dogs. I'm gonna stick with it, bc dogs taking over is way more funny than the alternative.

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments