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itstherealneal.bsky.social
I'm just a boy, standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/FZUWQHO6PUHN?ref_=wl_share
129 posts 98 followers 53 following
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Posts 37 Comments 12

Me and the girls seeing you.. not use a coaster

submitted 6 days ago • 11 comments

My first rodeo went extremely well today. They are calling me a rodeo prodigy.

submitted 5 days ago • 22 comments

I decided to take a page out of Donald Trump's book and now he'll never find out what happened to that caterpillar

submitted 12 days ago • 3 comments

Where do I opt out of all the emails asking if I want to opt out of receiving Father's Day emails?

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing.

submitted 16 days ago • 6 comments

One of the (many) misconceptions about polyamory is that there are wild sex orgies every weekend when in reality the wild sex orgies are on the 2nd Thurs of the month (weekends are regular sex orgy/potluck)

submitted 17 days ago • 5 comments

Forest path into the weekend 🦋 #ForestFriday #Trees #Nature ✨🌿✨🌳✨🌲✨🌱✨

submitted 17 days ago • 14 comments

It's a "like" to a post on social media. You're not bequeathing them your entire estate. Stop being so stingy.

submitted 19 days ago • 15 comments

Shout out to the people that don't rake their leaves or mow their lawns and leave wild spaces in which nature can thrive ✨️

submitted 33 days ago • 13 comments

online sex work is a significantly more honest transaction for both parties than social media influencers endorsing pretty much any product to their followers for the right price. in this essay I will

submitted 35 days ago • 5 comments

"Have you tried barking at it or licking it?" - my dog

submitted 35 days ago • 9 comments

Google maps needs a route option called "See the most cows"

submitted 38 days ago • 60 comments

Trump just announced tariffs so wide-reaching, they now cover a sub-Antarctic island group populated mostly by penguins and a Norwegian Arctic archipelago best known for its polar bears.

submitted 46 days ago • 211 comments

May as well say Happy Birthday to you here as well. 🎂 Looking amazing as always. Have a great day!

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

*checks bag for goodies*

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

it's propagander

submitted 54 days ago • 44 comments

We were told not to share this publicly, but last year was record-breaking—America’s national parks saw over 331 million visits.

submitted 56 days ago • 608 comments

Elbows up, Canada.

submitted 57 days ago • 1534 comments

Fat Ass Birds

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

I'm not saying my fingers are fat, but I've just tried the Google pi number game and pressed 2 for the first digit. #gameover

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

them: you never age, what's your secret? me: actually, i've just been kind of sad and eating a lot of toast them: maybe it's your lipgloss? me: that's butter

submitted 66 days ago • 58 comments

Every Canadian must report in every 30 days as sexy.

submitted 67 days ago • 9 comments

What a great turnout for our “Can you outrun a bear?” three-mile fun run! For the sixth consecutive year, the answer was no.

submitted 70 days ago • 13 comments

me: HE’S STARTING TO STIR wife: shhhh me: OH MY GOD wife: be quiet me: HE’S GOT A KNIFE wife: i really hate watching cooking shows with you

submitted 70 days ago • 15 comments

interviewer: it says here you’re not afraid to challenge authority me: no it doesn’t

submitted 70 days ago • 8 comments

In my Cinderella story, the fit test is with a glass buttplug, not a slipper.

submitted 69 days ago • 29 comments

The skies are painted with unnumb’red sparks, They are all fire, and every one doth shine

submitted 73 days ago • 21 comments

*driving through the beautiful countryside* There really are endless options when it comes to dumping a corpse.

submitted 138 days ago • 0 comments

I’m just a girl, standing in a pothole, asking it to become a sinkhole that swallows me whole.

submitted 75 days ago • 16 comments

You may know me from such outbursts as "SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK THE LIGHT IS GREEN!" and "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY JUST ORDER ALREADY!"

submitted 75 days ago • 212 comments

it arrived!! stardew valley mug ❤️☕️

submitted 76 days ago • 2 comments

All the other astronauts are super mad at me for bringing a 1000-piece puzzle with me on the space station. First of all I don’t think a 19x27 table is that big. Second of all nobody told me stuff was weird up here

submitted 76 days ago • 7 comments

contrary to popular myth, vampires CAN enter homes without an invite; it's just that they - unlike SOME PEOPLE - have some fucking manners

submitted 220 days ago • 1 comment

With tariffs in effect, it looks like I’ll never try poutine or Nickelback.

submitted 76 days ago • 11 comments

Reverse cowgirl… So I can finish my crossword without her shouting out all the answers.

submitted 78 days ago • 3 comments

Bluesky should add typing indicators so I can tell when you're about to post and brace myself

submitted 80 days ago • 20 comments

hard eye contact while sipping apple juice from a specimen container

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments