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jackiebouvier.bsky.social
These are my jokes. Please don't laugh at them. My children: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:btj7htumgboprmobfodhw7wu/feed/aaaiisbbcciv6
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Don’t bottle up your anger. Let it out. Over and over. For weeks. Years even

I need everyone on Normal People internet to know that American Girl Doll Instagram is doing doll protests today. There are tiny t-shirts and signs. AND THEN I realized it's a joint protest with the Barbie ppl, where there are EVEN TINIER SIGNS.

If they ever come up with a self-driving Nissan Rogue, that motherfucker will never get you to your destination.

LETS GOOOO #nokings

I’m gonna make a giant brownie in the cast iron about it

You didn't think my joke was funny? You're not special buddy, neither do I.

My take is that Trump and his bootlickers in Congress have already made him king, but like a Spanish Habsburg king, all inbred and demented

First hard laugh of the day 10/10

I never know what to do with my hands when I'm driving.

Missed connection: I was vomiting in the bushes outside of Applebees and you asked me for a cigarette. Sorry I punched you.

Coworker: You look tired. Me: Apparently, I also look approachable.

I've been up for 20 hours. There's no way I could perform surgery right now. Mainly, because I have no medical training.

Therapist: Make yourself comfortable. Me: If I could do that, I wouldn't be here.

I crocheted you a bathing suit please respond

I’m a shitpost trapped in the body of a man

Posting on social media is not, and never will be, "doing something about it."

I never let my feet dangle off the bed because the chance of my feet being licked by a demon with a foot fetish is low but never zero

The what 🤣

Keep living out of spite. Make every breath a middle finger, every heartbeat a war drum.

love the smell of sage at the protests this whole country needs to be smudged

The vibes today are almost unbearable

gotta be honest a bunch of fascist weirdos trying to bring about the end times isn’t really doing it for me

Godzilla tiptoeing through the city so he doesn’t step on any buildings

sorry, i can’t try any new things until the old things stop making me sick

I haven’t taken edibles in a while, took 2 before bed last night, unintentionally slept 12 hours and woke up looking and feeling like this lmao happy Friday

Friday the 13th isn’t scary anymore bc every day is a fucking nightmare

French cinema is always trying to rub it in like “we have way more sex than you — WAY more. don’t even bother trying, you’ll never catch up” and I really respect that

I guess she ran out of dogs to murder

Wednesday can go suck an egg

Might quit my job and become a full time problem

ME: don’t run with scissors CRAB: how then ME: idk maybe walk sideways

Distracting myself from personal grief with the unmitigated terror of our collective reality

I killed my soulmate and absorbed her power.