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jackiebouvier.bsky.social
These are my jokes. Please don't laugh at them. My children: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:btj7htumgboprmobfodhw7wu/feed/aaaiisbbcciv6
2,833 posts 5,774 followers 690 following
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Posts 34 Comments 15

Don’t bottle up your anger. Let it out. Over and over. For weeks. Years even

submitted 18 hours ago • 2 comments

I need everyone on Normal People internet to know that American Girl Doll Instagram is doing doll protests today. There are tiny t-shirts and signs. AND THEN I realized it's a joint protest with the Barbie ppl, where there are EVEN TINIER SIGNS.

submitted 1 day ago • 156 comments

If they ever come up with a self-driving Nissan Rogue, that motherfucker will never get you to your destination.

submitted 5 days ago • 5 comments

LETS GOOOO #nokings

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I’m gonna make a giant brownie in the cast iron about it

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

You didn't think my joke was funny? You're not special buddy, neither do I.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

My take is that Trump and his bootlickers in Congress have already made him king, but like a Spanish Habsburg king, all inbred and demented

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

First hard laugh of the day 10/10

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I never know what to do with my hands when I'm driving.

submitted 189 days ago • 19 comments

Missed connection: I was vomiting in the bushes outside of Applebees and you asked me for a cigarette. Sorry I punched you.

submitted 161 days ago • 12 comments

Coworker: You look tired. Me: Apparently, I also look approachable.

submitted 207 days ago • 7 comments

I've been up for 20 hours. There's no way I could perform surgery right now. Mainly, because I have no medical training.

submitted 208 days ago • 39 comments

Therapist: Make yourself comfortable. Me: If I could do that, I wouldn't be here.

submitted 210 days ago • 16 comments

I crocheted you a bathing suit please respond

submitted 1 day ago • 12 comments

I’m a shitpost trapped in the body of a man

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

Posting on social media is not, and never will be, "doing something about it."

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

I never let my feet dangle off the bed because the chance of my feet being licked by a demon with a foot fetish is low but never zero

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

The what 🤣

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Keep living out of spite. Make every breath a middle finger, every heartbeat a war drum.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

love the smell of sage at the protests this whole country needs to be smudged

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The vibes today are almost unbearable

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

gotta be honest a bunch of fascist weirdos trying to bring about the end times isn’t really doing it for me

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

Godzilla tiptoeing through the city so he doesn’t step on any buildings

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

sorry, i can’t try any new things until the old things stop making me sick

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I haven’t taken edibles in a while, took 2 before bed last night, unintentionally slept 12 hours and woke up looking and feeling like this lmao happy Friday

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Friday the 13th isn’t scary anymore bc every day is a fucking nightmare

submitted 2 days ago • 9 comments

French cinema is always trying to rub it in like “we have way more sex than you — WAY more. don’t even bother trying, you’ll never catch up” and I really respect that

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

I guess she ran out of dogs to murder

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

Wednesday can go suck an egg

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

Might quit my job and become a full time problem

submitted 4 days ago • 12 comments

ME: don’t run with scissors CRAB: how then ME: idk maybe walk sideways

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Distracting myself from personal grief with the unmitigated terror of our collective reality

submitted 4 days ago • 8 comments

I killed my soulmate and absorbed her power.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments