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jackiebouvier.bsky.social
These are my jokes. Please don't laugh at them. My children: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:btj7htumgboprmobfodhw7wu/feed/aaaiisbbcciv6
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Posts 39 Comments 10

The vibes today are almost unbearable

submitted 6 hours ago • 3 comments

gotta be honest a bunch of fascist weirdos trying to bring about the end times isn’t really doing it for me

submitted 6 hours ago • 4 comments

Godzilla tiptoeing through the city so he doesn’t step on any buildings

submitted 5 hours ago • 1 comment

sorry, i can’t try any new things until the old things stop making me sick

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

I haven’t taken edibles in a while, took 2 before bed last night, unintentionally slept 12 hours and woke up looking and feeling like this lmao happy Friday

submitted 23 hours ago • 2 comments

Friday the 13th isn’t scary anymore bc every day is a fucking nightmare

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

French cinema is always trying to rub it in like “we have way more sex than you — WAY more. don’t even bother trying, you’ll never catch up” and I really respect that

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

I guess she ran out of dogs to murder

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Wednesday can go suck an egg

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

Might quit my job and become a full time problem

submitted 2 days ago • 12 comments

ME: don’t run with scissors CRAB: how then ME: idk maybe walk sideways

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Distracting myself from personal grief with the unmitigated terror of our collective reality

submitted 2 days ago • 8 comments

I killed my soulmate and absorbed her power.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I can’t even get into Brian Wilson’s death without breaking down. My memories of him are closely intertwined with memories of my dad. The Beach Boys were his favorite group. I played them for him in his last days. He couldn’t speak, but he knew the lyrics. He could sing along. Thank you, Brian.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Alfredo is a perfectly respectable name, but it still makes me hungry.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Show your face. Show your badge. Show your warrant. This needs to become our mantra.

submitted 2 days ago • 13 comments

friend: are you ok? me: are you kidding me friend: what me: i'm on like year seven of not being ok...... are YOU ok?

submitted 3 days ago • 9 comments

Los Angeles 2025

submitted 3 days ago • 271 comments

ngl this map of scheduled protests for this weekend is *wild*

submitted 3 days ago • 182 comments

When are we going to ICE HQ to chant “come out you fucking Ho-man” lmk

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I know I’ve seen Casino, but can barely remember anything about it for some reason. You see, there’s this guy, and he has a casino

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

FIRED UP NOWHERE TO GO

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

I get it. You're outraged. You're motivated. That's amazing. But I cannot physically and mentally maintain that same level ALL THE TIME. Yes, I'm disgusted, pissed, on edge, and worried. I'm also succumbing to so many chronic conditions I should just be a pathology text, so if I joke, deal with it.

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

Inches away from turning replies off on every post.

submitted 4 days ago • 16 comments

why did america have to wait until i have an 8 month old child to become a fascist police state? not cool bro

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments

[If I had a game show] "Not Sydney, not Melbourne, but a secret third thing. What is it?" "Canberra?" "Incorrect. The answer is Beaverbrook." "Why?" "It's a secret."

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

In the most American of moves, leadership hosted our company offsite in a bog and is now blaming workers for the alligator attacks

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

onlyfans but for colonoscopy footage call it youtube i'm sorryyyyy

submitted 4 days ago • 29 comments

put on your helmet, we’re going off roading

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Sorry I said your penis looks like Vincent Schiavelli

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments

I regret that I only have one hand to shitpost for my country

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

All I want for Father’s Day is a T-shirt that says, “I ❤️Sluts.”

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

Woke up this morning and chose insufferable

submitted 4 days ago • 11 comments

7yo, yell-singing from the pool: Bees and wasps, are not the saaaaame! Bees! They barely ever sting, because they don't wanna die from a brooooken butt!

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

“I hate to bother you but…” -Me lying, I fucking love bothering people

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

I’m a cowboy baby

submitted 5 days ago • 9 comments

My daughter has made a Sims house comprised of my most notable exes and I am dying. She gave them exaggeratedly hideous & cartoonish features and this is why she’s my best friend.

submitted 6 days ago • 23 comments

I'm "every shirt ever made during the 90s has a pull tag on the back so you can hang it up or get dragged down a hill by bullies" years nostalgic

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments