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jasonmcbason.bsky.social
Commentary YouTuber, professional opinionater, and winner of over 1,000 fake arguments in my own head. youtube.com/@JasonMcBason
316 posts 559 followers 801 following
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I'm a Christian and my wife is an Orthodox Jew. So when we had children, we decided to compromise and raise them as Scientologists.

submitted 65 days ago • 1 comment

Matt is short for Mattress Firm

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

Whatever you're going through, just know that you're not alone. I'm with you. In your home. Watching from the shadows.

submitted 92 days ago • 2 comments

Lord of the Rings trivia: Hobbits have a second butt where second breakfast comes out.

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

There are millions of deaths every year from ceiling fans spinning so fast that they fall off the ceiling and cut people's heads off.

submitted 66 days ago • 1 comment

Wife: Please, for the sake of our marriage... for once in your life, just be sincere. Me: Okay..... Hello! I'm Sincere. What's your name? Me: [gets divorced harder than anyone's ever been divorced before]

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

Clarence the Angel: (gestures) This is what the world would look like if you never existed. Me: Wow. I can't believe.... wait, why are my kids still here? Clarence: ... Me: ... Clarence: Well, this is awkward.

submitted 66 days ago • 3 comments

just do what i do and only buy flavored lip balm

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

if you want money so much then why do you give it away in exchange for other things, genius?

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

fun prank: tape a sign that says "PEE ON ME" to a stranger's back and then watch as everyone around starts peeing on them

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

The rage inside of me is a supernova powerful enough to devour worlds.

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

girl you have more "I can fix him" energy than all the people who tried to put Humpty together again

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

Them: "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Me: "Yes. Often. And passionately. I use tongue." Them: [starting to regret asking]

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

Kids in the future will be playing "the floor is lava" but for real.

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

the word "parallel" has 3 parallel lines in it. that must be why it's named "parallel", because it's the most parallel of all the words.

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

Please don't throw around the word "stupid" so casually. It's offensive to those of us who actually are stupid.

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

after much testing, i can say with confidence that women do not find the word "beaver" sexy

submitted 68 days ago • 1 comment

there would be world peace if everyone just agreed with me about everything

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it's either a duck or a really weird person. Either way don't feed it bread.

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

Adam's apple, Eve's melons.

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

God is everywhere which is why I feel completely justified selling these seemingly empty mason jars at a premium price.

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments