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jbmilleractually.bsky.social
Writer, novelist, playwright, classic film nut, dad, Londoner, superior wit, inferior cook, avid slow reader, champion sleeper, haematological memoirist
29 posts 244 followers 503 following
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Posts 23 Comments 7

Support the Washington Post! Don’t use Bezos’s recent announcements of editorial control as an excuse to end your subscription. I find no diminishment of editorial independence and those guys are covering the crises in DC superbly. Keep WaPo going!

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

For the alleged cost of Meghan’s coat you could buy 4,181 copies of my novel Duch, which is all about Princess Diana being found alive in Paris. But you only need to buy 12. #Duch #PrincessDianaLives

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

The lovely smell of your new book hot off the press! Overjoyed to finally have my novel Duch in my hands. Why not fit it into your hands? Princess Diana is alive in Paris and making mischief. #Duch

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Just 10 days away from the launch of my Princess-Diana-is-alive novel Duch, which has a four-star (****) average rating on Goodreads and Netgalley! Order it at your local independent bookstore. Loudly.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Let me clarify that my earlier remarks about dog obedience were in no way meant to mitigate canine crime. Misbehaving labradoodles (though a lovely breed) should be prosecuted under the fullest extent of the law. I'm closing my account and entering a Buddhist monastery for the foreseeable future.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

In an earlier post I said that labradoodles had been involved in a spate of crime. I’ve since learned that many of the atrocities were actually perpetrated by other breeds with superficial resemblances to labradoodles, such as cockapoos, goldendoodles and labranoodles. Apologies for this confusion.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

I hope my modest contribution to the Society of Obedient Dogs will go some ways in making up for my ill-chosen remarks regarding my earlier ill-chosen remarks about labradoodles. In addition, I have volunteered at a local obedience school where wayward dogs are given “a new leash on life.” Walkies?

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Apologies to the Anti-Labradoodle Front, who doxxed me for apologizing to the National Labradoodle Foundation for my post on this popular breed. I was unaware of the recent spate of labradoodle crime, and my amends to the National Labradoodle Fund were not meant to excuse these canine offences.

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

I’d like to apologize to the National Labradoodle Foundation for my poor choice of words regarding this elegant breed. Labradoodles are in fact a much-loved addition to the national dogscape and I hope my modest contribution to the National Labradoodle Fund will make up for my misjudged post.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Years from now, when I’m cancelled for an errant social media post, this will be the one that got me in trouble: I really don’t like labradoodles. There I said it. Fire at will.

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

It hasn’t even been released yet, but my book Duch already seems to be getting a lot of attention. Accustomed to working in complete obscurity, I find it disconcerting that people I don’t even know are reading my novel. And liking it! Shome mishtake, surely.

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t mean to insult 12-year-olds, but Trump has the brain of a 12-year-old. Has no one noticed this? Welcome to the infantilized White House.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Just watched Lost Highway in homage to the late, great David Lynch. Didn't understand it, but loved every minute. "Keep your eye on the doughnut and not on the hole."

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

What the absoulte fuck? This world is doomed

submitted 50 days ago • 3 comments

My tomato plant has died. Time to get a cat? (I promise I’ll water it every day.)

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

PRINCESS DIANA IS ALIVE! Watch this space. News to come. Duch.

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

Trump wants to annex Canada. I remember calling for the same thing. When I was 12.

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

Trump called his Jan. 6 insurrection “a day of love.” Many people believe it. Our society is moving from logos to mythos. It’s terrifying.

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

My 82-year-old father-in-law wants to become an influencer to get people to read more books. Who’s on board?

submitted 57 days ago • 1 comment

Why do I always get “Canadianed” in London? They hear my American accent and say, “Is that a Canadian accent I detect?” Presumably they think they’d be insulting me if they assumed I was American but turned out to be Canadian. It’s the other way around!

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

Neil Young is an idiot who thinks the BBC is a politburo destroying Glastonbury. Sorry, that’s an “error in information.” He’s actually a twit.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Going from 2024 to 2025 is like jumping out of the frying pan into the very fiery pits of Hell. Though I am looking forward to the next season of Slow Horses.

submitted 62 days ago • 1 comment

I heard that women are having their boyfriends read them Sally Rooney on Tiktok. I think men should have their girlfriends read them garden shed instruction manuals.

submitted 63 days ago • 2 comments