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jeremysparks.bsky.social
currently spitballing some big ideas, MacArthur fellow for suggesting a ‘gesundheit’ for burps.
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I want to see a horror movie about some haunted potpourri.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Me, back when I was a steppe dweller, bereft of any worldly possessions beyond what the mongol invaders left me with: I imagine I could walk there… Fellow steppe dweller who has a Southern twang for this brief missive: Yakult, but you won’t like it.

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

“Looking good. Feeling good.” I say, staring right down the camera barrel. I hold up today’s newspaper, videotaped proof of life is standard practice. “Tremendous.” I say as the brigands force feed me slivers of my own clothing.

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

It's Eno doc day. It's apparently different every time you watch it due to generative elements. www.ohyouprettythings.com/new-products...

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

Draining a band of adventurers with a necrotic Life Drain and smacking my lips, all, "Mmm... That joie de vivre!"

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

An apothecary where you can have secrets cut and excised from your tongue. Be wary. They will burn your secret away in a brazier. But can you be sure the flesh that chars if from your mouth or did the physicker swap it with legerdemain?

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

“Rudimentary, my dear Peni.”

submitted 132 days ago • 0 comments

Pretty bummed that I never tried the Paul Weller cut before baldness came for me.

submitted 157 days ago • 0 comments

Beavis didn’t mention it often but he was a Branch Davidian.

submitted 179 days ago • 0 comments

worth.

submitted 193 days ago • 0 comments

The chorus of angels stand in a circle, waiting for a new voice to signal what song they should exalt the most high with. Joe Strummer (looking around apprehensively) Breaking rocks in the... hot sun. Shifty Shellshock (excitedly): Come my lady. Oh, my lady. Come, come. God nods, for it is good.

submitted 227 days ago • 0 comments

If you need me, I’ll be busy getting in touch with my inner child by whispering the lyrics to “God of Emptiness” by Morbid Angel on the back pew of the rectory.

submitted 234 days ago • 0 comments

A video game where you burn down your job (it loads it from google maps) and the mayor cries (you get points when the mayor cries)

submitted 235 days ago • 0 comments

Me, fumbling through cd jewel cases driving a car through kiosks in an empty shopping mall: “The Above The Rim soundtrack would go so hard right now”

submitted 235 days ago • 0 comments

“New Jesus Lizard video please.” The monkey’s paw shudders and lowers one of its nine fingers.

submitted 235 days ago • 0 comments

Ripping off a drum pattern is ok, huh? Like, standard practice?

submitted 239 days ago • 0 comments

Aaron Rash’s Utero IR pack is so fantastic. Get it.

submitted 241 days ago • 0 comments

Me, dipping a finger into the creek and lazily tasting it: “This won’t do at all, fellas. It’s just water.” Gold dust shimmers kaleidoscopic in the whorls of the eddy.

submitted 242 days ago • 0 comments

Laughed out of the surf shop for asking if Mr Zog sold a virgin wax.

submitted 257 days ago • 0 comments

Baring my soul, El Paso style.

submitted 257 days ago • 0 comments

Throwing rocks into my blender until the gravel is just right.

submitted 258 days ago • 0 comments

completely convinced that I could immediately worm my way into any medieval king’s court if I got to bring Nestle Quik in the time machine

submitted 258 days ago • 0 comments

Writing my enemies’ names on a piece of paper and then forcing it into the overflowing mouth of the golem.

submitted 258 days ago • 0 comments

“This is for when y’all wanna pass gas!”

submitted 262 days ago • 0 comments

Earlier I was thinking about how if, in The Kings Speech, in that balcony address he just went into Buttermilk Biscuits by Sir Mixalot.

submitted 263 days ago • 0 comments

Anyone built a decent gm screen in Foundry for SWADE? For a rules light game, I keep having to go back to the book. #swade

submitted 263 days ago • 0 comments

Drunkenly challenging, “Is that so, Miriam? When was I ‘sent careening’?”

submitted 272 days ago • 0 comments

Trying out having a pellicle this year.

submitted 272 days ago • 0 comments

Desperately googling “Mr. Boogedy ending explained” until some ai fills me in.

submitted 277 days ago • 0 comments

I keep thinking about a necromancer going through the entire ritual to awaken a spirit and seek its counsel by speaking to its skull. But she skull wakes up and is just like: “Girrrrrllllllllll…”

submitted 277 days ago • 0 comments

nothing 2 eat in hell 😔

submitted 278 days ago • 0 comments

Thinking about how funny if it would be if www were hhh. English people talking about haich haich haich greggs c-o dot u-k

submitted 283 days ago • 0 comments

just got hit by a haymaker of a memory of how around 2003, "eats, shoots & leaves" was the most clever thing people had ever encountered.

submitted 285 days ago • 0 comments

me when i smoke (1) weed

submitted 285 days ago • 0 comments

“No! Vern! Don’t answer that, me knowing if you know what I mean in the future could have extremely dangerous implications! Even if your intentions are good, it can backfire drastically!”

submitted 286 days ago • 0 comments

new idea today: 'the paisan neutron'. vocaroo.com/14MqXjymFnob

submitted 287 days ago • 0 comments

me, looking through a telescope at Ganymede: so this is how far away again? “650,000 miles… and some change” me, annoyed: sorry, i don’t carry cash.

submitted 289 days ago • 0 comments