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jjimmyt.bsky.social
19 posts 62 followers 25 following
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Posts 23 Comments 4

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

You'll thank me later

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Little did I know after the head injury

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

If you run your fingers through my hair, you might find a stay peanut M&M. Win/Win. Just sayin.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

You all said I was crazy to save all these soy sauce packets. How's your post-apocalyptic squirrel? Oh, what's that? NEEDS A LITTLE SALT? That’ll be $599.99, please!

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

I dunno why but my new 'Honk If You're Horny' bumper sticker only works when I slam on the brakes for no good reason

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

If any of you are still holding on to an old DVD I pass here 3x's a week so I can fling it over the fence, Frisbee-style

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

You people complaining about the amount of snow? I just got hit with a dead palm frond on the way to my car, so I know how you feel. Nature can be so cruel.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Read the whole thing.

submitted 21 days ago • 78 comments

This Grammys marks the 35th anniversary of me not understanding the difference between Record and Album of the Year

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

Today, I actually pondered if using coffee as eye drops would make for faster caffeine absorption. I just might be insane. Also, ouch

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

They're not fooling anyone.

submitted 22 days ago • 517 comments

Belgium is a leading producer of beer, chocolate, and weapons. I picture a country full of very well-armed fat people. Another one, I mean.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Whenever I’m naked and on Oxycontin in an Applebees , I always order the spinach dip because that's the kind of thing I like to do.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Fuck that noise. We’ve been here before. youtu.be/zrFOb_f7ubw?...

submitted 23 days ago • 3 comments

After I die, I want my ashes thrown in the face of everyone I ever knew for not working harder to find a way to keep me alive.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Do one simple thing like stick your foot out in the aisle at the grocery store and bitches be trippin’!!

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 24 days ago • 167 comments

Oh FFS www.cnbc.com/2025/01/27/g...

submitted 26 days ago • 2227 comments

If I were a ghost, I'd sit on the bus all day and blow into people's ears.

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 27 days ago • 9 comments

Both only want money.

submitted 28 days ago • 358 comments

These are the good guys supporting DEI. Reward them with your business. Costco Meijer Kroger Giant Grocery Ben & Jerry’s Ulta, Macy’s Old Navy Nordstrom’s TJ Maxx GoTo Foods ( Moe’s Southwest Grill, Mcalister’s, Auntie Anne’s, Jamba, Cinnabon…) Dollar Tree Walgreens Wegmans

submitted 28 days ago • 387 comments