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johnbetterman.bsky.social
This is a joke/parody account meant to urge John Fetterman to be a better man.
92 posts 1,866 followers 9,305 following
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Instead of a townhall, @johnfetterman.com is hawking @davemccormick.bsky.social ‘s book about “mentorship” on 3/29 12pm at the City Winery on Smallman St (PGH). “Mentorship” means teaching grace, mercy, and empathy. You can attend the protest townhall. Here’s the event! facebook.com/events/s/sta...

@johnfetterman.com probably brought his Terrible Towel to Israel to cheer this on.

@johnfetterman.com did a sit-in at UPMC Braddock to oppose it closing, but there’s something about Palestinians that makes him okay with Gaza hospitals being obliterated. Their skin color? New HRW report released: “Israeli Military War Crimes While Occupying Hospitals” www.hrw.org/news/2025/03...

Was @johnfetterman.com invited to Israel to provide political cover for Netanyahu during his corruption trial and restart of bombing in Gaza? Probably. Butchers among butchers.

For @johnfetterman.com who is in Israel right now “100% supporting” the latest bombings of Gaza “unapologetically,” there are no human rights for brown people. No rules of war. No war criminals. Don’t let him fool you. 148 children are dead in 36 hours.

@johnfetterman.com was a bad free agent signing.

Arab people are human beings. That’s it. That’s the post. @johnfetterman.com

Our senator @johnfetterman.com is in Israel right now fellating Bibi Netanyahu as the most brutal carnage since Biden unfolds. The ceasefire (that was never a true ceasefire) crumbles at his feet. He is a butcher among butchers.

The worst condition @johnfetterman.com suffers from is not depression or a stroke. It is narcissism. For his supporters, we want to let you know, it’s okay to turn away from the narcissist in your Senate office. It’s the only way he will learn from his mistakes and, with luck, admit to them one day.

We have to rely on Senators from other states to comment on our labor disputes because @johnfetterman.com “champion for the union way of life” is flying out on his second trip in a year to Israel.

@johnfetterman.com is packing his bags for his second trip in a year to Israel. How about Israeli settlers leave Bethlehem and Hebron? How about Israel withdraws from south Lebanon and Philadelphi Corridor in Gaza? Let’s promote peace and prioritize PAians living here in places named for Palestine.

“Every Pittsburgh villain needs an origin story and mine is hunting down a black jogger dressed like Mike Tomlin in my pickup and leveling a shotgun at his chest. Sorry, not sorry.” @johnfetterman.com @fetterman.senate.gov m.youtube.com/watch?v=_cZ4...

@johnfetterman.com is offering a $32 PT opportunity for anyone recovering from jaw surgery. You can grit your teeth, gasp at the horror, and slide your jaw side-to-side in irate judgment as two bros tell you about their mentors who failed at teaching empathy. www.eventbrite.com/e/the-power-...?

Video of @johnfetterman.com being a jag last year when asked about pipelines and fracking here: www.newsweek.com/conservative...

@johnfetterman.com’s career hopes have gone the way of the Schuylkill Expressway: ground to a halt by the hubris of fellow travelers and frustratingly ill-conceived.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - @johnfetterman.com

@johnfetterman.com invited us all over to his place for a fire, but he had no bag chairs and he smoked us out burning wet pine logs.

@johnfetterman.com planned our trip to the Poconos, but he took us to the crunchy ruins of Penn Hills Resort (and not for paranormal tourism).

theonion.com/democratic-l...

@endpacorruption.bsky.social knows what’s up. If you’re looking for a team committed to winning, stop watching Bob Nutter’s Pirates and get involved. (This account is not affiliated with March on Harrisburg)

BREAKING: Steelers decline contract with Aaron Rodgers. GM states, “There’s only room in western PA for one ego-driven narcissistic disappointment who skips practice and believes in conspiracy theories and that’s @johnfetterman.com . He has consumed all of our cap space.” #johnfetterman

Not to give fracking lobbyist Mike Mikus too much credit, but it’s ironic that even a slimeball like Mikus is turning on @johnfetterman.com who yearns for fracking to be across the street from his house.

@johnfetterman.com promised @padems.org that he’d bring the ketchup to the cookout, but he brought HUNT’S.

John Betterman calls on @johnfetterman.com to demand the release of Mahmoud Khalil, detained under the 1952 code that gives the Secretary of State authority to deport those deemed a threat to national security. It was written in the McCarthy era to target “communists” ie Eastern European Jews.

Free Mahmoud Khalil! We can do tradesies, @johnfetterman.com goes and Mahmoud stays. Read more: theintercept.com/2025/03/11/m...

When @padems.org voted for @johnfetterman.com they were going clubbing at the casino but he took them here:

@johnfetterman.com sold us a small town PA mall with no anchor store. Gee thanks, Bon Ton John.

John Betterman Men’s Health Tip: if you are suffering from depression like @johnfetterman.com , try limiting screen time, drinking more water, taking a multivitamin, 20 minutes of daily exercise, seeing a therapist, and NOT COLLABORATING WITH A FASCIST REGIME.

Welcome new followers! Iterations of this account have existed since Twitter times. Betterman was created by us during the 2022 primary, was not parody-enough, was often confused as the real Fetterman apologizing for his bad takes, and we got banned thrice. We take no solace saying “we were right.”

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - @johnfetterman.com

Healthcare is a human right, but @johnfetterman.com stopped supporting Medicare for All and is enabling Trump to cut Medicaid today. It must be nice to have that Senate healthcare to cover the whiplash treatment he gets when he rear ends drivers flying down the highway with his wife riding shotgun.