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jordangerous.bsky.social
I’m not for everyone. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7y4kxdqkmmlv2hmzzlsj4cq3/feed/aaab35qpioy7w https://allmylinks.com/jordangerous
2,292 posts 5,297 followers 483 following
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Posts 37 Comments 12

It’s Easter in two days and then 4 days later is my kids broth day and I don’t have money for either. Coooooooool. Love my life

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

[on the cross] Jesus: What the fuck do you mean they’re going to call this GOOD FRIDAY in the future? This is the literal worst.

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

idk this friday has been far from good, if you ask me.

submitted 4 hours ago • 1 comment

As an empath, I really felt it when they nailed you to that cross, bro.

submitted 7 hours ago • 2 comments

ok what’s going on with the fondue jokes? Some of us are poor, have to work for a living, and can’t keep up.

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

yeah i'm verified. verified cringe

submitted 6 hours ago • 22 comments

You can make any insult sound Latin by adding the suffix -us. Ask anyone called Colossus Cuntus.

submitted 6 hours ago • 4 comments

DATE: So tell me something about yourself ME: I like to call frozen burgers 'brrrgers' HER: I need to see other people

submitted 5 hours ago • 3 comments

Will you contribute to my legal defense fund? I haven’t don’t anything yet, but I just feel like I’m going to beat someone’s as soon.

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

I was born in the US to immigrants who were not citizens at the time of my birth, so I’m just waiting to be rounded up for the gulag any day now

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

it’s ok, congress. millions of men are also completely impotent.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

All ghosts are cordially invited to give me a little kiss

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

I asked ChatGPT what I would like like with filler and Botox and it’s basically Lauren Sanchez-level scary

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

it’s ok, congress. millions of men are also completely impotent.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Struggle meal. The bottom of the bag chips get eaten with a spoon. I’m poor I can’t be throwing food away like some kind of a millionaire.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

I have some disappointing news for the Starbucks employee who drew this

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

[filling out a form] Sex: [pencils in “from time to time”]

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

how many people who say “trump is playing 4D chess” actually know how to play chess or operate in the fourth dimension for that matter

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

Bought my kid something and he immediately threw the box away. I don’t know where I’m going wrong.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

[1513 BC] kid: I don’t have to follow your stupid rules. it’s not like they’re written in stone Moses: what

submitted 10 days ago • 4 comments

[breathing] "I could do this all day.”

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

Be the reason why the villagers speak your name in hushed tones.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I’m funnier if I take an edible, but that might make me have a panic attack, so we all have to suffer together.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I wake up in the middle of the night so I can see what the Australians are posting from the future

submitted 3 days ago • 7 comments

if being in space for 3 minutes makes you an astronaut, then i’m a proctologist

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

If only I was as humble as I am beautiful, smart, and funny

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

Errbody in da club losing their retirement savings.

submitted 2 days ago • 14 comments

TikTok in 2026: “get ready with me for deportation to a gulag in El Salvador!”

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

if someone reskeets you, you absorb their power

submitted 1 day ago • 57 comments

RIP mutual who changed their avatar. Hope you enjoy your new life after you respawn.

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

i cant believe i paid for a device that allow people to reach me whenever they want

submitted 81 days ago • 6 comments

“Damn it, that sounded way funnier in my head.” - me and every tweet I’ve ever written.

submitted 157 days ago • 3 comments

I need like a thousand bucks. Any of you rich and generous?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

did you make an ai action figure of yourself? dork.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

gardening is not enough. i need to dig a hole all the way through earth and start a new life on the other side.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

even a two pump chump can last longer than katy perry’s trip to space

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

you don’t have to wait until mid-life to have a crisis. crash out right fucking now. you’ve earned it.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment