Profile avatar
jortsparty.bsky.social
166 posts 33 followers 70 following
Prolific Poster
Conversation Starter
Posts 36 Comments 14

You Will Experience a Public Transit Renaissance in Your American Lifetime

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

blenderhand soup river

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

this pill will fix your heartburn but it will ruin your connection to the howling mind of the collective human bargain

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Edgar Allen Poe was a shortening of his full name, Edgar Allen Poetry

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

My favorite is darkmode. More darkmodes! Better darkmodes (give people both a low- and a high-contrast darkmode option)!

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

five years in my FREAKZOID dog finally let me clip her #dewclaws which means she finally trusts me as much as she trusts STRANGERS WHO GROOM DOGS FOR A LIVING 👎🏻

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Hand mixers are the power bottoms of the kitchen gadget community

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I present…my one-and-only contribution to the meme space #acab #smee #meme #smeeme #peterpan #pirate #piratebehavior

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I present…my one-and-only contribution to the meme space #acab #smee #meme #smeeme #peterpan #pirate #piratebehavior

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

If u live in Minnesota it’s finally the day: Severe Weather Awareness Week xtra Tornado Sirens Day. I wait anxiously 4 this day each spring. Do not panic or you risk aggravating the tornados. And if u get zapped by the new cryoblasters on Hennepin and get frozen solid for 300 yrs, that’s unrelated.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

alignment chart for best places in my apartment to keep forgetting that I need to pee. LG: Bathroom threshold NG: Bathroom mirror CG: Shower LN: Kitchen, which is next to the bathroom TN: Lying on sofa CN: whilst posting LE: Cozy in bed NE: Doing dishes CE: Bath

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

In New England, God is Considered to be so Powerful that it’s Gauche to Mention Him at All

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

do NOT forget about severe weather awareness week you freaks

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Never been more hopeful about the future of tech than 2011 when my hometown got its first Coke Freestyle machine at the Five Guys. And I made the pilgrimage with my friend who played American football AND did the musicals. Perhaps I shelled a curséd peanut and sent us hurtling down the wrong path.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

why does every chocolate bar gotta be a hero? and why does every local cleaner gotta save the world? if you bill yourself as ‘ethical’ do you then dilute the word?

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

microstatic when I rub my dog’s haunch and then poke her big wet nose

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Girlcotting, is that anything?

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Boycotting target cuz it smells weird

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

What differentiates a fork from a spoon is an existential *lack*: a fork is defined by negative space in the same way a marble statue is made of everything you take away

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Secular therapist wants me to believe in God? God is a blank canvas or an empty page or a daily pilgrimage to a ruined husk of industry at the end of a stream, or God possibly is a chastity cage or, yes, believe or do not: God is a focaccia, or at very least God is the living yeast.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Micro poems are the best way to do nothing and say even less

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Is there some way to start the internet over from scratch? Or like a totally second internet? I have a couple of ideas about how we could behave better, stuff to include vs. not include, quiet hours, and something I’m calling “the outer forums”. Lmk if you know any coders or other geeks.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Considering developing weirdly intense opinions about various genres, subgenres, and microgenres

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Of yore, obviously

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I would even argue that it’s wise

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

cooking with #butter is #possible

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

BUTTER is something which I purchased in stick form recently #butter

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Bogwonder Days

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve been told this joke is lightly homophobic because it relies on a supposition that powerful men going on dates is somehow funny. Something something peter thiel!

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

What’s all this I hear about powerful men going on a ‘man date’? Do they hold hands during the pedicure?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

arts and crafts and all that stuff could never make a world so rough

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

blood doctor wanders thru the maze-like tunnels beneath the complex: past the steam baths, past shrieking, past the Room of Endless Blue, checks notes, doubles back, second-guesses the route, sacs of blood gaining temp in his bag. ‘this…’ blood doctor mutters…’is a broken healthcare system.’

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

The political right can never win in the long term because their art fuckin’ sucks

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Woke up soooooooooo grumpy might find an enemy to yell at

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

sometimes I like to pronounce it “bloo-ski”

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

my foot growing out in every dimension. my pinky toe probing the abandoned mill, my big toe over at the co-op, another plunged in the icy depths off of Boston harbor, yet another all the way in Türikye, the last one I don’t even know.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments