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kaywoodward.bsky.social
Children's author. Alpha faffer. Kay Barnham, if you squint a bit. Fabulous agent: Claire Wilson at RCW.
55 posts 205 followers 161 following
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Posts 29 Comments 20

Today, I have decided against nagging and opted for simple instructional photos instead.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Please feel free to imagine the intensely polite, simmering rage of the preceding email, @soverybritish.bsky.social.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

TINY bit spooky that my email preview screen now gives me a brief rundown of what’s IN the full email. TINY bit embarrassing that it took me two weeks to realise. #thefuturetoday

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Lost my coffee three hours ago. KNEW I’d find it once I made another one. #spotthecoffee

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Read all the comments from the good people of Bluesky and switched to #DuckDuckGo. Told husband how thrilling it is. That’ll be why I’ve been using it for 12 years, said Mr Smuggity Smug.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Of all the dinosaurs, the thesaurus was the most mighty, colossal, titanic, gigantic, massive...

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Dear people who send emails with a photo that changes every 0.5 seconds, They make me feel as panicky as the NEXT EPISODE STARTS IN 10 ... 9 ... 8 SECONDS QUICK QUICK QUICK button on telly. Thwack! Gone. 💥

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

If I had to choose between the two headline-grabbing outfits at the Grammys, I'd be painting a cereal box right now.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

New series ahoy! Quick quiz to celebrate! Is this series rammed with cool stories featuring: a) the colour beige b) trifle c) INCREDIBLY FUN MATHS AND ILLUSTRATIONS THAT WOULD BRIGHTEN AN APOCALYPSE? @oupprimary.bsky.social @oupeducation.bsky.social

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Which dinosaur is most likely to suffer from heartache and heartbreak? The billyraysaurus

submitted 28 days ago • 9 comments

Crikey, can’t believe it’s 47th January already.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Can't. Look. Away.

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

Today, I will be mostly checking that everyone has put the accent on Storm Éowyn.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

World’s worst lunchbox? (Yes, those are cold croquette potatoes. 😬)

submitted 37 days ago • 1 comment

Practical use of touch-typing! Being able to send an email after leaving glasses downstairs and not making any nistakes.

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

If you ask me this makes it too easy.

submitted 39 days ago • 27 comments

The adjective for metal is metallic. The same rule doesn’t apply to iron. Which is ironic.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

The BEST bit (ie the only good bit) about exams? Subjecting offspring to subject-based playlists. Guess today’s. Go on! Say I’m Your Number One – Princess The Magic Number – De La Soul Seven Tears – Goombay Dance Band Pocket Calculator – Kraftwerk (in actual Italian!) youtu.be/UZiTr4hwHXI

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

When asked if there’s anything else else someone can help them with today, I wonder how many people say, ‘Actually, yes! As well as blanched hazelnuts/plasters/an Hawaiian pizza, you’ve reminded me that I’d love a coconut/defibrillator/lobster and chips too, please.’

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

‘I was on deadline for a catalogue essay. I spent Wednesday evening writing. “This is how they found him,” I could imagine them saying, “writing his little sentences while LA burned.”’ Colm Tóibín writes from Los Angeles, in the next issue and online now: www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v4...

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve designed a rocket to send egotistical megalomaniacal billionaires into space on an everlasting (ego) trip of a lifetime, so the rest of us can have a quiet life. No landing gear so no other planets will be harmed. (It was a much ruder shape than this but I remembered my uncle follows me 😆).

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

What’s worse? Looking round your house for an emergency present or discovering that a present you received has Blu Tack on the back? 🤔

submitted 48 days ago • 2 comments

Playlist for today's English Lit exam. Monster Mash (Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt Kickers) Electricity (OMD) Weird Science (Oingo Boingo) More Than A Woman (Bee Gees) Hands Up (Ottawan) #frankenstein #thehandmaidstale

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

Just finished #missingyou. Did it happen 11 years ago? Has it been 11 years? 11 years, you say? HOW many years? 11?! #11years

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

Last minute bookish present idea? A Big Green Book Club subscription! It's a service where I individually pick, wrap & send out a book each month to people based on the stuff they enjoy reading. I do 3, 6 & 12 month subs. Kids and adults. INFO HERE www.biggreenbookshop.com/book-club/in...

submitted 65 days ago • 1 comment

Christmas Alert! If someone asks you to get them some crackers, do not assume that this means crackers for cheese. They are VERY difficult to pull.

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

It’s getting dark ALREADY. (Somewhere.) #HappySolstice!

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

Then left again, next left, then take another left, and one more, then left again, then hang left, and again…

submitted 71 days ago • 12 comments

It’s definitely nearly Christmas. I’ve learnt the security code for my credit card.

submitted 72 days ago • 0 comments