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kittywifclaws.bsky.social
Hobbit-esque (Bilbo, not Frodo) My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:z3etudejkhuxhf64tyszym24/feed/aaacunfc4wy2e
489 posts 1,424 followers 565 following
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Posts 44 Comments 4

Kinda mad I quit smoking and finally have a healthy relationship with food for fascist stress and ecological collapse food prices.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

I don’t want you to be mine. I want you to be yours with me.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Post hog, not fascists

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Still haven't found my hidden talents. These jerks really know how to stay hidden.

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

Don't let gloomy weather get you down. Enter the fog, lose yourself in mossy corridors and shadowy nooks, radiate your own darkness from within and envelop everything. You are the gloom.

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

Achievement unlocked: gluten free & dairy free little debbie oatmeal cream cakes

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

The worst part of daytime has to be the Activities.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Sorry I ruined your birthday by being sad and disabled.

submitted 2 days ago • 11 comments

Sorry I yelled out, "THE WIRE TRANSFER IS COMPLETE," when I came.

submitted 2 days ago • 17 comments

You ever finally learn something or do something you’ve wanted to do since forever and then squint your eyes at the sky afraid of the simulation ending?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I curse so I don’t have an aneurysm. Thank you for understanding.

submitted 3 days ago • 38 comments

Why do chickens only make one noise? They can’t think outside the bawks

submitted 3 days ago • 10 comments

Severance and Yellowjacket theories are saving my soul.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Your outie doesn't even read what the "your outie" meme says before liking the post

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

How many skittles do you think would fit in your vagina? What if one escaped up your cervix? How long do you think it would take to dissolve?

submitted 6 days ago • 12 comments

Buttholes are so deep and profound

submitted 11 days ago • 15 comments

Behind every strong woman are circumstances that gave her no other choice. I’m so tired of having to be strong. So damn tired.

submitted 4 days ago • 13 comments

I want to be able to look back at history and answer: “What did you do while Nazis rose to power?” With: “I made fun of them on broadcast media as often as possible. I gave my friends a voice and something to laugh at in these trying times.”

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Sometimes I just cannot anymore. Like my brain is breaking and I am desperately trying not to bring down the vibe. Sorry.

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

I don't want to find a new job, I want to go to sleep under a tree for a thousand years

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

Please refrain from wishing a pox upon both their houses until the CDC is reinstated

submitted 7 days ago • 7 comments

I digitized my whole life into a thumb drive and my GenX ass is having issues about my IDs being scanned like no one already stole all that multiple times this week.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

once i get some sleep it is over for absolutely none of you, i think you’re all great

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

Here's a thought. No wait, I need that

submitted 9 days ago • 7 comments

In case y’all haven’t figured it out yet, we have to make ourselves laugh.

submitted 10 days ago • 16 comments

Edward Scissorhands is just goth Wolverine. Don’t @ me

submitted 12 days ago • 13 comments

Why are there no heroes in this movie ?

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

Cosmopolitan magazine never prepared me for any of this

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Gonna ground myself to mastodon only until I can make a decent joke again.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

The microplastics in my head say I can’t play with you anymore.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Every day is just a new level of ‘I didn’t sign up for this’.

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

I refuse to settle for just anything, just to be able to say I have something.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Gotta put the poetry on the poetry account, Kat.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

You know that guy that says "everything happens for a reason"..in your friend group Yeah,well.. Might be time for someone to go check on him Bring a blanket and a whiskey

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

The struggle is real

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Look spell book, i am an ADHD witch That is too many steps

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

hey man I can't hang tonight the ancestral stones portend grave horrors again lol

submitted 16 days ago • 2 comments

baby are you single use plastic, cuz you seemed like a good idea at first but now you’re fucking everything up

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

Bluesky: where posts are like garbage pail kids and reposts are sticking them on your trapper keeper

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

The first time you read this, it's present tense. Now it's past. Did you notice?

submitted 487 days ago • 8 comments

Alexa, the power of Christ compels you.

submitted 12 days ago • 7 comments

She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair and you wondered how this salon was still in business

submitted 13 days ago • 8 comments

Alexa, build me a blanket fort and fill it with Advil and kittens

submitted 26 days ago • 2 comments

Look, I can make it weirder, but not sure it's worth a Klondike bar.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments