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klaybourne.bsky.social
Much swearing 💙🇺🇸🇺🇦🇨🇦🇲🇽🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️📚🐱🃏💚☮️🎹🎸🤓 I’m almost out of emojis.
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Thinking about getting a boat and calling it the SS Cutty Snark.

Pro Skeeter, loggin in.

Fuck it, we're all taking the day off and going to the spa 💅

The movies had us convinced that every villain was clever and brilliant and cunning. It turns out that stupid and hateful people are the most dangerous.

Something titanic happened today in history but I have a sinking feeling I won't be able to remember what it was

Imagine having the chance of not hearing Katie Perry talk because there’s no air.

After watching the WNBA draft last night, I think there should be a separation of church and sport.

You ever just wake up and scream “NO” and then go back to sleep in the morning?

My ancestors: walked 10 miles uphill in the snow to buy dirt weed Me: (can’t open my store-bought weed without scissors) this is such bullshit

going to bed early because i can old

Life is too short. Eat the extra pierogi.

Long story short, ornithologists keep insisting that bird is indeed the word.

this is my Coachella youtu.be/rb53-sDII0o?...

doing taxes for my chocolatier friend but i may have fudged the numbers

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Anal

Anal Destination

If I compliment your body, would you hold it against me? No, like literally cuz I need a hug.

Chickens won't even cross the road anymore for fear of being detained.

It costs nothing to be kind. But then again, it costs nothing to be a sociopath. So you see my dilemma

*stops helicoptering* You want a pudding pop?

When the spouse calls you on their way home to talk to you about their day what the fuck are you supposed to talk about once I get home?

you shouldn’t just “have a ball” there should be two, please get that looked at.

And here's some moss because why not

Everything went downhill today after I put on pants

Maybe the Empire wasn’t all bad. Think of all the jobs they created for subcontractors building the Death Star, all those Imperial Porta-Potty rentals, the company who made Vader’s helmet filters. That’s all part of a robust economy right there

Always the like Never the reskeet Life be..

I’m a 10 (6 when viewed from the right side + 4 from the left)

oh bluesky gods, can you ration your likes to us bluesky peasants

Listen It's either you adore me but are too shy to interact or by liking or reskeeting or you adore me but can't bear the thought of sharing me and perchance losing me to the wiles of the ungroomed gnomes mumbling in Welch [delusional much]

Breakin' 2: Anal Boogaloo

Him: I’m a self-made man. Me: How embarrassing. I guess no one ever told you where babies come from.

Classic comeback with the traditional butthole skeet.