Profile avatar
kylelsmith.bsky.social
The silliest goose. 🪿 Links to my humor at kylelsmith.com.
492 posts 84 followers 266 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
Posts 20 Comments 30

I've decided not to get the Neuralink brain implant. I already have self-driving thoughts that crash, dreams that explode on the launchpad, and a personality that makes for boring company.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Since Sting was the head of The Police, can we call him Commissioner Gordon?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Are you hideously codependent or Hideo Kojima dependant?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

No matter what they tell you, my hips definitely lie.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Gaslighting is revisionist historical fiction.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Ice cream sandwiches are neither ice cream nor a sandwich. Discuss.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

My worst day working remote is better than my best day working in person.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I miss post-credit blooper reels.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

My pee is so clear they call me Crystal. My skin is so dewey they call me Mountain. I'm so hydrated that Nestle claimed the water rights on my body.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

*Car pulls into the left lane of the highway* Tractor Trailer Driver:

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I wrote so much over the past two weeks that my wrists hurt. That's a first from me, Captain Writer's Block. I wrote 1 speculative fiction short story, 1 prose humor piece, and 7 chapters of my first novel. Only 14 chapters to go and that sucker will be ready for revisions! 🥳 #indieauthors

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I am so ready for Tron: Ares.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I want to live in a town that's so chill a dog is the mayor.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Happy 50th birthday to Microsoft! I was going to show you all a retrospective on this HD DVD, but my XBOX 360 just got the red ring of death. Sent from my Windows Phone.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Just finished tip to tip with Ludwig and Michael Reeves. It may be the best travel vlog of all time. youtu.be/SHIkv0XH20A?...

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

LucasArts was a force to be reckoned with in the DOS game era.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

The worst part about Pokemon is fear of the unown.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Mordor Corp., Where there’s a whip there’s a way! Due to an unforeseen and sudden staffing shortage, we are urgently hiring for Nazgul Team Lead. Must be able to keep their heads while working with members of the opposite sex. muddyum.net/job-posting-... #lordoftherings

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

gonna be sporting and give tim a five minute head start

submitted 9 days ago • 200 comments

People who sell drugs from their cars used to be more subtle. Just passed a car that said dealer right on his license plate.

submitted 10 days ago • 3 comments