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larrybermanspeaks.bsky.social
Just a humble god fearing man doing my best to rein in my obstinate son and unfaithful wife! Active Alcoholic, Sales Savant, Cloud Engineer, Baseball Coach, and former Lieutenant Colonel 🇺🇸
206 posts 124 followers 180 following
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Posts 13 Comments 37

My fat son thinks he can walk all over me, huh? Well, I admit at his current size that would probably be lethal. But his fat ass will have to catch me first! #dumbson #fitdad

submitted 131 days ago • 0 comments

My fat son helped me setup broadband wireless today. Now I can deride him from every room in the house! #dumbson #techdad

submitted 138 days ago • 0 comments

Both my son and my wife are on the naughty list, but for different reasons! #dumbson #horndoglarry

submitted 141 days ago • 0 comments

My fat son said he was gonna stand on business, then the economy collapsed. #dumbson #bigson

submitted 142 days ago • 0 comments

Trump should assign my big fat son to be head of the Department of the Interior of the Fridge! He’s got better experience than anyone! #Fatso #Dumbson

submitted 142 days ago • 0 comments

My wife was just denied coverage on a mammogram her doctor ordered because she didn't get a prior-authorization first. Hahaha, what an idiot! #dumbwife #proinsurancecompany #ihatemyson

submitted 143 days ago • 0 comments

My big fat(and slovenly) son is getting an ass kicking for Christmas! That’ll teach him for ignoring my calls! #HoHoHo #SonAbuse

submitted 143 days ago • 0 comments

My son ate so much he became the food pyramid! My big chunky carboloading boy! #dumbson #wideload

submitted 146 days ago • 1 comment

I was out going for a jog and my fat son couldn’t match my considerable pace, so I told him to catch up. Next thing I know, he tucked in his arms and legs and began rolling towards me. I said hey, that was pretty clever, my big fat bowling ball boy. #dumbson #fatidiot

submitted 147 days ago • 1 comment

Ok fine, I’ll admit it. I told my wife my big stupid and fat son ate her leftover tiramisu, but it was me. I was 13 Coors deep watching Moana 2, when a pang of hunger struck me like an earthquake. Anyway, my son is still an ingrate. #hungylarry #moana #dumbson

submitted 149 days ago • 0 comments

And it’s one more day up in the canyon And it’s one more night in Hollywood If you think that you could punish my fat son I wish you would 🎶

submitted 150 days ago • 0 comments

My boy asked me for help with his new sales job so I just picked up some training treats from PetCo. My big corpulent son is so food motivated! #dumbson #sales #prouddad

submitted 150 days ago • 0 comments

A lot of whining today from woke libs about the evils of health insurance companies. Well, I for one, agree. If somebody doesn’t approve ozempic for my embarrassingly fat son within 24 hours, I’m setting him on fire. #maddad #dumbson #fatson #uhc

submitted 151 days ago • 1 comment