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lifepitts.bsky.social
Late Diagnosed AuDHDer and PMDD survivor writing words about stuff and things.
49 posts 43 followers 32 following
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I feel like I am doing a whole lot of finding out for someone who did exactly none of the fucking around.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

As for me and my house we'd rather be mentally ill.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

The US needs a presidentier president.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Oh okay I get it now! This really IS the bad place.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

#anglerfish

submitted 16 days ago • 5 comments

Duolingo: We killed our mascot! Me: Why is that little fucker still mean muggin' me from the corner of my home screen then Duolingo?

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

The White House needs an adultier adult.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Your Mom was a DEI hire.

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

The signature cocktail for 2025 is extra strength Tums.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Mom: Wow Haley Joel Osment is so old! Me, almost 45: He's 36 Mom. Mom: And? Me: He's almost ten years younger than me. Mom: So? Me: So what are you trying to say? Mom: That you're old!

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

The NYT word of the day is cognizant and I just laughed so hard I hurt myself.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Despite what Smash Mouth says I don't actually like it when my world is on fire.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

There's a planet with a day that's longer than its year and that makes more sense than anything happening in the US right now.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

In a world where just anything can be said, it feels like the most sacred gift we can offer each other, is not to say just anything.

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

16yo: Mom, how do you say MAY-uh-NAZE? Me: MAN-aze 16yo: Huh? Wait, what?!? Seriously?! Do that again! Me: No.

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

My son sniffs out medicine in the popsicles, milkshakes and pudding we give him so quickly he has a promising career as a narcotics dog.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

The bartender just very sweetly said to me, “If you are who I think you are, I just want you to know how much I appreciate your content.” It’s too bad I was ordering a water 😆

submitted 47 days ago • 12 comments

My 7yo, handing me a watch at the store: Mom, can I have this? Me: Sure, you want to be able to tell what time it is during the day Buddy? Him: Is that ALL that it DOES?!?

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

Today years old when I found out Missy Elliott literally flipped the lyric and reversed it in Work It and that's why it sounds like that.

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

Day three without coffee and I might just hang my leg over the edge of the bed tonight and let the monster under the bed grab it.

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

My 7yo was telling me all about how long the playground is at his school and I wasn't even tempted to say "that's what she said" so 2025 might have broken me you guys.

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

It's only January but if I were Jesus I'd wait another four years before coming out of that cave.

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

Less likely to embrace the New Year than I am to stumble into it with a mouthful of rice krispie treat wondering what day it is.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

Somebody should be in charge today. I just stuck a post it note on my coffee mug that says "today's", so it shouldn't be me. Somebody should though.

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

Skydiving, bungee jumping, etc. have ZERO allure to me. Like, my brain cannot even fathom how that is something that people would pay money to do. I should note that this is not a judgement on those who DO love to do those things, but even just writing this thread is making me anxious.

submitted 64 days ago • 11 comments

Hubs: My knee hurts. Me: It's raining. Hubs: The rain doesn't hurt my knee. Me: It does now.

submitted 64 days ago • 1 comment

Still can't believe 35yo me slept without a body pillow like some kind of cave dwelling neanderthal.

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

Dr: I'm 41 but my wife provides oversight on decisions I make every day. Me: So I need a wife!!

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

Really need 2024 to stop 2024ing.

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

Trying to make mom friends in 2025 like "POLIO IS BAD!!"

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

Them: Which social situations are most uncomfortable? Me: Yes.

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

Nov. 15th Me: Too early for Christmas. Dec. 15th Me: Oh no.

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

Cleaning up the playroom and found a canvas bag from my son's first grade class labeled "we don't lose our class goldfish. The bag is empty and he's a second grader now. I think we lost the fish.

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

If you eat pie for breakfast it's breakfast pie.

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

If somebody says you're using too much gravy sacrifice them to the mashed potato volcano.

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

[3:12 am] (my cat): oh sorry about stepping on your face i was just headed to the nightstand to knock over that water glass

submitted 103 days ago • 42 comments

Caught my cat staring into space this morning like he'd been so overwhelmed by existential dread while considering the great paradoxes of life he just needed to disassociate for a minute.

submitted 104 days ago • 0 comments