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liferictus.bsky.social
Psychopomp who did not put a finger on the heart vs. feather scale you’re just a sore loser it’s 50 bucks to play again
6,923 posts 704 followers 247 following
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Posts 39 Comments 11

yes good sure do that that thing you do

submitted 219 days ago • 2 comments

wearing a hat that says undecided voter to drastically increase the rate of weird shit happening around me

submitted 221 days ago • 0 comments

what does “7” mean what the fuck are they saying to me

submitted 228 days ago • 0 comments

i’m here representing flat chested women no i will not come down from the floodlight

submitted 231 days ago • 0 comments

why did i have to walk through someone’s entire house to use the bathroom at this sizable public accommodation

submitted 232 days ago • 0 comments

i’m home 4 1/2 hours a day on average these last few months do you think the cats miss me or are they just doing whatever the fuck this is all day regardless of me

submitted 235 days ago • 0 comments

not bad for just getting to where i can’t deny i’m in my mid-30s if i’m allowed to be immodest here

submitted 237 days ago • 0 comments

everything happening in this train car is disgusting i’m going to pop a xanax and start tweezing my eyebrows what’s the point in staying above this

submitted 237 days ago • 0 comments

heading home in the body odor car

submitted 237 days ago • 1 comment

i always get a year older on the day they make everyone stop being gay

submitted 238 days ago • 0 comments

pipe’s clogged

submitted 239 days ago • 1 comment

in light of popular opinion i will be doubling the length of my neck

submitted 241 days ago • 0 comments

okay i watched the thing i think cnn fucked up they should have stopped it after the 3rd rat pack era insult and handed out jello cups

submitted 241 days ago • 0 comments

my neighbor and i made this submarine to go look at sunken group chats

submitted 245 days ago • 0 comments

thought i woke up hungover but i remembered i didn’t drink it’s just been very hot and sticky for what feels like 20 days straight

submitted 246 days ago • 0 comments

feel like i’m narrowly dodging a flying saucepan whenever i log in

submitted 247 days ago • 0 comments

group chat chernobyls everyday

submitted 247 days ago • 0 comments

dust cloud blew by down the street it’s probably fine

submitted 248 days ago • 0 comments

hope i live until i’m old enough to spout complete horseshit and barrel through questioning when nothing’s riding on it. my aunt insists rice crispy treats are called “granola bars” and says “when i were growing up we called it that” lady you grew up speaking arabic

submitted 249 days ago • 1 comment

we’ve advanced 400 miles so far but supply lines are getting attenuated and the locals have raised bands of skirmishers to harry the parade’s flanks

submitted 249 days ago • 0 comments

got my hair done professionally for the first time in years and walked outside to get boiled

submitted 250 days ago • 0 comments

why is someone belting the national anthem somewhere in this neighborhood that’s very ominous

submitted 250 days ago • 0 comments

how to explain to a cat that the tar is still very hot from daytime he cannot go on the roof he’ll scald his giant feet

submitted 250 days ago • 0 comments

this was all a stunt to get me to buy more surface to surface missiles

submitted 250 days ago • 0 comments

wait is that one the bitcoin shithead or the information warfare shithead or the discord weirdo or the other discord weirdo or the balls guy or

submitted 250 days ago • 1 comment

got home and the cats are medium rare it’s hot folks

submitted 251 days ago • 0 comments

me and her sister went with her today to get the rest shaved and some lady in another chair is weeping and all 3 of us are rolling our eyes and muttering “stop that”

submitted 251 days ago • 1 comment

another sarcophagus appeared in the bluesky elder pantheon what happened what did you guys do

submitted 251 days ago • 0 comments

my aunt just barreled through chemo hair loss like she’d been through it before. nearly all of it came out in the shower while i was there this afternoon and as i was cleaning the tub she’s calling my brother to ask for pointers on how to deal with the unprotected scalp thing

submitted 251 days ago • 0 comments

recently made aware of Kick and i think we need to launch a trident at whoever’s responsible for it

submitted 252 days ago • 0 comments

months of extremely insufficient and bad sleep but i’m still spry enough to win fights over the last weird fruit in the grocery store

submitted 253 days ago • 2 comments

herman cain gave his life to teach an object lesson no one will learn

submitted 253 days ago • 1 comment

i’m taking leadership of this waiting room no one else here has been described as having an “evil shape” by a drunk guy in his late 50s at a gay bar

submitted 253 days ago • 0 comments

we now turn to our national security correspondent who speaks with her lips open and her teeth closed

submitted 253 days ago • 0 comments

i was about to say these web sites need something akin to natural disasters that pop up irregularly but with enough frequency to be recognized like locusts or something but they kind of do have that

submitted 253 days ago • 1 comment

i would like to clarify that my earlier posts complaining about the weapons lobby was not supposed to foreshadow whatever’s going on now no one consults me on this shit

submitted 253 days ago • 0 comments

americans are lonelier than ever meanwhile i’m doing fine telling strangers that lately i’ve been getting into reading about really bad submarines

submitted 253 days ago • 1 comment

i’m going to create a youtube account to post my 10 hour video on dennis prager’s biography as i extrapolate it from his internet shows alone and then abandon it forever

submitted 254 days ago • 1 comment

I talked it over with her mom and we will likely need help, so I made a GFM to take care of Betty’s funeral expenses. If you can help, it’s very much appreciated, and if not, that’s okay too, just spread it around if you would gofund.me/ee0f26d5

submitted 255 days ago • 1 comment