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lordturnip.bsky.social
Let's tear it all down and start over already! I love horror movies, cooking, Kpop, and being a smart ass.
1,052 posts 262 followers 576 following
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Posts 34 Comments 16

We need Luigi more than ever. Hell, we need a brigade of Luigis

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

I feel like every piece of news from the last 8+ years completely infuriates me. That gotta be great for my health

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Life was better when reading books = personal pan pizzas

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Saw a picture in a history book of Hitler doing a Musk Dab. Crazy stuff.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

*riding a krazy karpet down a 4-meter-tall snow pile in the parking lot, wiping out on bare pavement*

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I love how Costco makes people insane. "I paid for a membership, so I guess I'll shop like I live in a warehouse with 60 people"

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

BREAKING: Trump declares plane crashes completely legal and normal

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Happy that Trudeau announced a high speed rail project, but not holding my breath that I'll see it. We desperately need it. It should have been a priority DECADES ago

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Another day, another unintelligible TTC announcement that sounds like someone talking while gagged with a wet sock.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I hope America is as lucky as the delta jet - everyone survives but the right wing explodes

submitted 4 days ago • 1064 comments

when we learned about fire safety in school they taught us about stop, drop, and roll. Turns out, that works for planes too.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Wow, Toronto. You are complete dogshit at clearing sidewalks and crosswalks. No place to board or exit the bus. Giant walls of snow at every intersection. God help you if you're disabled or elderly and need to get around. The world doesn't exist for cars alone!

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

I love garlic as much as I hate peeling garlic

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Had to throw away an old couch. Rode it like a toboggan down an icy hill all the way to the city dump

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

It's been snowing continuously for almost 30 hours. Everyone outside my apartment is probably dead.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

One time I bought a box of 5 granola bars that was unusually heavy and there were 8 inside. I've been chasing that high ever since.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

*Smacking a cake with cake pops like it's a steel drum*

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

My valentine's day plans? Pretty horny for work so I'm heading to the office I guess

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Now would be a hilarious time for RFK Jr. to die of leprosy or something

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

America has doubled down on their love for food poisoning.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Congrats to Inside-Out-Gargamel for his confirmation for HHS Secretary.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

one time I accidentally brought a pizza to a gunfight instead of a gun and we ate the pizza and resolved differences until the last slice of pizza was up for grabs and a gunfight broke out

submitted 10 days ago • 81 comments

It's dogsled weather, and I'm thankfully working from home.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

What's the most discreet way to tell a coworker that they left the washroom smelling like a poorly maintained turtle habitat and they should see a doctor?

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Yeah I'm eating chocolate cinnamon rolls before noon. Haven't you been watching the news?

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

hey america. maybe you could do more checking and balancing with this Mad King shit.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

I still can't believe Mitch McConnell wiped out on those stairs so badly his head got wedged in the banisters and twisted clean off.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Good thing you didn't vote for Harris. She had no plans for turning Gaza into a casino resort water park.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

The last two weeks have been a fucking fever dream.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Got a busy evening ahead of me. Gonna stir some all natural peanut butter

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I think a lot of people didn't vote for the dems because they seem weak and useless. Pretty great assessment actually.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

RFK Jr. eats live possum during confirmation hearing

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

The people destroying everything to aqcuire more power and wealth and already the richest and most powerful people on the planet. That's pure evil.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

"Good morning" "Is it good? really?" "I guess. No one knows anymore"

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments