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machocenobite.bsky.social
I hate lakes and I was born by one
37 posts 10 followers 4 following
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What if Noah was just a dude who saved his neighbors cat from a flood, and embellished this story every time he told it? “Yeah I saved the neighbor’s cat” “Well yeah, remember when I saved the whole neighborhood?” “I saved all of the animals ever from a great storm”

submitted 435 days ago • 0 comments

2000 years from now, the next civilization, parsing through the wreckage of supercomputers: “Sir, we believe this so-called “tweet archive” may be a religious text? They worshipped a god called ‘Horse Ebooks’ and He gave prophecy several times an hour….”

submitted 452 days ago • 0 comments

Technology has finally advanced to a point of no return. We will not be able to atone for what we have put into the world. We must answer for the gummy lunchables

submitted 520 days ago • 0 comments

I’m so grateful that social media was not around in my middle school era, to spare the world of my Lord of the Rings “parody script” era So grateful, in fact, that I am absolutely sharing some now

submitted 535 days ago • 2 comments

What kind of person does Amazon think you are? I’ll start:

submitted 547 days ago • 0 comments

“I miss the old Twitter” The old Twitter:

submitted 547 days ago • 0 comments

Idk what everyone’s talking about, I think the Cybertruck™️ looks pretty neat

submitted 548 days ago • 0 comments

To be honest I don't know why I shoot so many guns at the Moon I love the Moon

submitted 548 days ago • 1 comment

Tell me where you’re from with a food pic

submitted 548 days ago • 0 comments

To be a fly on the wall in the board meeting that thought this was a good idea “Remember when Tim broke his leg in fifth grade? That shit was hard”

submitted 548 days ago • 0 comments

How my throat feels rn

submitted 550 days ago • 0 comments

Hope the sporadic power outages thaw Walt out just enough to let him hear this Maybe make him watch “Treasure Planet,” while he’s up

submitted 550 days ago • 0 comments

I think I have COVID again

submitted 550 days ago • 0 comments