malmomalmo.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Today: -fired delivery driver for racist, sexist AND homophobic remarks -other delivery driver mauled by a German shepherd, went to ER -customer screamed at me over the phone because delivery taking forever (because of dog) -still have 3 hours left 🥲

submitted 4 hours ago • 1 comment

Where tf my girlfriends at I need yall to come over and kill a bottle of wine with me and just talk about shit

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

Actually genocide LMAO

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

I still refer to my normie friend group as my normie friends but half of them are furries and more than half of them are not straight and idk what else to call them

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

HOW THE HELL DOES A MF FORGET TO PUT ON UNDERWEAR AND NOT REALIZE TIL THEY BEEN CLOCKED IN FOR OVER AN HOUR 💀💀💀💀💀

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

I already fucked up, 2026 will be my year 💪

submitted 56 days ago • 1 comment

HAHA IM AT WORK AND I SIGHED BECAUSE IM TIRED AND MY GENERAL MANAGER ASKED “malmo why do you keep whining like a sad puppy” BECAUSE I AM A SAD PUPPY 😭😭😭

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

Had a dream I was in high school and the teacher (who was wearing a Mario onesie) asked the class “what do you guys think of bowser” to which I silently took out and put on a beanie that had embroidered bowsers face and “use me”

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

My biggest takeaway from cons is if I see something in the dealer’s den/artist alley that I’m on the fence about getting, get it right away because it’ll most likely be sold out by the time I decide I really want it

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

malmo is making his first ever con debut at #MFF2024 right now!!!!! If you see me say hi and we can share a big cheez-it!!!!

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

OH MY GOD IM HERE WHERE IS EVERYONE WHAT ARE YOU DOING

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

Only packing the essentials for the con

submitted 83 days ago • 1 comment

I just slipped at work and ripped my piercing a little wider and it won’t stop bleeding lol

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments

I am once again at the yearly dilemma of should I take advantage of black friday/cyber monday deals or save my money for mff 🤔

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

Happy thanksgiving to everyone who matches my freak on deviled eggs, the rest of you can have a miserable turkey day for all I care 😈🥚😈

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

Jerked off 4 times today and I’m STILL horny any suggestions? 🙏 🍆 💦

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t have the good-at-math autism or the kind that makes you obsessed with trains or anything cool I have the autism that makes you stay up until 3 in the morning playing fucking Yandere Simulator killing/dismembering all 86 students and faculty and sorting their body parts into piles

submitted 97 days ago • 2 comments

everyone knows you always get the best sleep when you blow a big fat load just before you conk out 🍆💦😴 commission for @bernerbro.bsky.social

submitted 110 days ago • 17 comments

Picked up my car from the shop this morning and my clock was a little messed up… What if it was all just a dream?

submitted 104 days ago • 1 comment

I'm just gonna go through my tw- dry heaves sorry my twit- projectile vomits sorry im gonna go through my account at the other place and just repost my flops that banged the hardest

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf, now get ready for… Uppies for puppies 🐶

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

I want a big nap and I’m getting fussy >:c

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

Yesterday, at work Me: jams my finger Me: ow, ffff… Brain: hang on, there’s a kid near me. I shouldn’t say that word. I’ll say fooey instead. Brain: wait no fooey is a lame word. I can think of something more creative than that. Me: …fuck I am smart

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

The best kind of coffee gives you more of a sugar rush than a caffeine buzz

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments

Brain is operating in full stim today I cannot stop saying to myself of in the cold food out hot eat the food

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

OH MY GOD I FORGOT ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY WHAT DO I DO

submitted 116 days ago • 5 comments