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mangoseed.bsky.social
Club of Rome: there are 5 billion too many mangos on this rock. Darwinism: banning healthcare improves the stock. Eugenics: mangos should be tested before being allowed to reproduce or vote. Speciesism: mangos are superior to animals, humans & plants.
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Why are grapefruits superior to oranges? Because they have serious mojo! You never hear a doctor say, "Whatever you do, don’t take this with orange juice!" Grapefruits are so powerful, even medicine fears them—meanwhile, oranges are just out here being...orange.

submitted 19 hours ago • 0 comments

Why is it easier for a woman to purchase a gun than vote? Because apparently, they trust her aim more than her choices. www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l3c...

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

What do ripe supremacists focus on in private schools? Famous Mangos in history Mango math (always finding the root of the pulp) Tropical sciences (with a heavy focus on juicing techniques) Mango wars and invasions. And of course, their ultimate goal is to graduate with fruit honors! 🍑✨

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

[Chorus] Oh Sweet Pea, she's on a killing spree, Come on, come on, come on, don't kill me. Oh Sweet Pea, don't you be like her, Don't you, don't you, don't you be like her.

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

What's the ultimate meat for tacos? Lengua, obviously—it really speaks for itself! But my late wife swore it was a delicacy, and who am I to argue with someone who had such taste... and tongue!" 🌮👅

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

A woman marries her high school sweetheart, Mr. Screwdriver, and decides to take his last name. Years later she goes to vote. "Oh wait, you need a bunch more documentation!” Moral of the story: Stick with your maiden name, or you might not get to vote. 🪛

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

"If tariffs were weaponized, we'd get 'Charity Junk'—with ads proudly declaring, 'Every toy helps an oligarch!' Complete with bonus toxic packaging... for an extra fee."

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

If philanthropy were commercialized, you'd see charity auctions for NFTs of compassion and "Buy One, Donate One" deals on kindness—impact sold separately!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

"Tariffs aren't a tax on consumption—they're a makeover for your eBay listings! Now, spring cleaning feels less like decluttering and more like browsing high-end boutiques on Rodeo Drive. Who knew old junk could become luxury collectibles?"

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Math Problem: Before tariffs increase, you can afford 10 Chinese cars at $5,000 each, or one American car at $50,000. After tariffs on Chinese cars are raised by 125%, and the cost of American cars increases by 20% due to higher parts costs, how many Chinese cars can you now afford?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

"Novocaine (2025): A tragic story of millions sedated by soundbites, dulled by misinformation, and afflicted with the inability to think critically. A true cautionary tale!" 😅

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

"Why does the GOP get free tickets to El Salvador? Because it's a one-way flight—no return policy for bad ideas!" 😄 www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVEA...

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

"Why do fast food restaurants sandwich their commercials between 'This is your brain on drugs' ads? Because it gets egg cravers to drive-thru!" 😄

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You can find more excellent burritos on one city block in LA than in an entire city back east!" www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOok...

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

"Why can’t they bring the prisoner back from El Salvador?" Catch-22, because the paperwork says he must be in the U.S. to apply for a transfer—but he can’t get a transfer until he’s back in the U.S."

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

What did the coffee bean say to June at the diner? Don't let the bastards grind you down.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

When Ella Purnell sees a mango in the style of Margaret Keane.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Why are they destroying everything except the gravy train? Because even in chaos, they know where the buffet of lobbyist cash is served piping hot! 🤑 www.youtube.com/watch?v=My2F...

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submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

"Hitler propounded a misogynistic, stereotypical view of women, valuing them exclusively as wives and mothers while excluding them from full participation in German political and economic life.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

In 1933, Hitler used the pretext of the Reichstag fire to declare a national emergency and seize the power to govern unilaterally. The German judiciary did nothing to stop him. German democracy never recovered."

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

"Hitler's version of fascism shifted immense power--both political and financial--to the leaders of German industry. In fact, Hitler governed Germany largely through corporate executives," ...

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

When Ella Purnell sees a mango in the style of Margaret Keane.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

She said, "It’s time to stop the apathy and rage, The systems are flawed, but they can still be saved. If you step up, speak out, and turn the page, There must be fifty ways to save democracy." Support the press, Tess, Challenge the lies, Kai, Protect the vote, Moat, And keep freedom alive.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

🎶 "The Fifty Tactics Blues" 🎶 "The problem is all inside your head," she said to me, "The answer’s simple if you take it logically. I'd like to help you in your global policy— There must be fifty ways to charge a tariff."

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

"Tariffs—they're Grrrreat!"

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

At a CNN town hall moderated by Anderson Cooper, Sen. Bernie Sanders explained why he believes both political parties are influenced by a corrupt campaign finance system.

submitted 3 days ago • 216 comments