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marblebirds.bsky.social
Shitposting like a lost child at the mall looking for my mom. And buddy, you look kinda like my mom. 25 She/her 🏳️‍⚧️
454 posts 148 followers 456 following
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I am far too invested in niche video games to ever be allowed to name a child

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Nobody's brave enough to try this but if you want to replace vaping/smoking with a nicotine-free habit, your best bet is probably sucking on a pacifier. Babies have this figured out

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The way bridges work is that all these giant sticks hold each other with tender love. Family.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

What you gotta understand about tabletop RPGs is that a huge part of the appeal is hearing the click clack of the dice. This is because dice used to be made of bones and our primal urges yearn for the rattling

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Arboreal sounds like a group of aliens but actually it just means trees which is a very standard earth type of an animal

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

The only tech innovation I wanna hear about is figuring out a way to comprehensively prevent kids from using social media without hurting their feelings cuz we really really need that

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Where do you guys think that pencil went when the joker hit that guy's head really hard

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Slingshotting a water balloon full of honey directly at your face "Will you BEE my Valentine? 🥺"

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

water is like Dr Pepper but worse

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

The hero's journey is just "there and back again" with extra steps

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Girl who's obviously just been turned into a human after being a horse: *staring at your apple core* "You gonna finish that?"

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Hey man thank you for unknowingly storing these cursed skulls under your bed for the last couple years you have 3 minutes to evacuate before I destroy your house but I hope you never give up on the Lego sculptures thing you're really good and I'm not just saying that

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

If your phone moaned with pleasure everytime you plugged it in would you let the battery die more often or less

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

The lotion-oriented demands of my hand skin are utterly disturbing. None of god's creations should crave this much wet

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

please contribute to my clothing drive. I'm gonna put clothes on all of the named statues thank you

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

god, giggling: put a poison rocket in the bee's ass *suddenly starts crying* but if it ever uses it to defend its home it dies

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Apparently vampires are sexy. Cold penis??

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

You have really pretty eyes. Can I lick them?

submitted 6 days ago • 15 comments

If I were Icarus I would have simply not flown that high

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Cows might seem chill but they can be pretty spooky when you're walking through the woods and suddenly you're surrounded

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Instagram would be way more fun if it sprayed me with pepperspray when I open it

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Constipation is so confusing to me. Why doesn't the body simply recognise it needs to shit and then decide to shit

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Idea for a new olympic sport: 5000 people are released into an abandoned quarry with no instructions on how to score points or win the game

submitted 6 days ago • 22 comments

Mouse pads are a scam cardboard works perfect

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I really struggle to understand why people get sad about being single on Valentine's day. It's like if Honda Days made you sad about not having a car. Like I get wishing you had a car, but why would you care about Honda Days

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

There's only six colors and I'm not joking

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

My gender is the dew that splashes in your face when you boop a cherry blossom with your nose

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Just learned what morals are and I think to guys might be overcomplicating things

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

I'm not so sure about this scientific method stuff. Confirmation bias and the placebo effect have worked pretty well for me so far so I'll probably just stick to new age spirituality and gradually become a fascist

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

I thought that by developing a movie-watching habit with my friendd I would finally stop feeling like I'm missing out on so many good movies but it turns out the more movies you watch the more aware you become of how many you haven't watched

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments