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mathwiz97x.bsky.social
a girl who makes youtube videos sometimes | stay safe and stay alive <3
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sometimes it feels like I'm afraid to write for a video, and I don't know why that is

I feel like I can't even put up a facade of having my shit together recently, I am simply going where the wind takes me

I'm gay

a fucked up thing about life (for me) is learning to accept that I will just keep losing things that are important to me, regardless of how much I try to stop it and in many cases, I never realize I've lost something until I've already lost it

stability is hard to come by these days

watching Maquia now I feel like I've heard nothing but good things about it, so we'll see if the run continues

watching anime again is pretty cool, love enjoying things

Bri just hit me with a "you wouldn't want to let your 19 year old self beat you at making videos, would you?" and honestly, that's a pretty good motivation to keep making shit lol

I've somehow stumbled into the timeline where I'm becoming a Mari Okada fan, and I don't know how I feel about that lol

watched the first episode of Frieren and cried, so I think the woke mob might be right on this one lol

born to be silly, forced to work

time is so fake dude, I'll be getting ready to leave for my shift and have like 10-15 minutes left, and then I blink and suddenly I'm rushing out the door a minute or two late

FF7 is pretty good imo

don't think I'm vibing with the horse girls anime

anxiety

seeing that bluesky added trending topics with the option to hide it ☺️

not sure who needs to hear this (I know I do), but... it's okay to feel overwhelmed bad days do not undo the progress you can and will make you deserve the chance to be happy you deserve the chance to feel safe you are loved, and you are beautiful there is always tomorrow please stay alive 💜

there will be a main channel video next month 😤

I'm simultaneously feeling more bitter than I ever have before, but also more determined to make something meaningful of my life I have 3 years until I turn 30, is this just normal? lol

I've worked through some tough mental/emotional blocks in the last few months, now I'm coming for that pesky writer's block 😤

Bri is back! she is cute and funny, go follow her

trying to focus on making a community this year, so here's a thing discord.gg/hqdzBz5R9m

time to start promoting my stuff again I made a video list of my top 100 anime OPs, and I'm currently writing a follow-up for the main channel about the process of making this as well as discussing the "Top Anime Openings" YouTube scene as a whole www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTjS...

I'm going to enjoy making youtube videos again, and I'm going to make a lot more of them

y'know I used to think I had it alright because "oh my family was supportive," but most of the ones who actually did accept me died years ago, and family I thought I could count on have turned out to be performative at best

doing my best to not doomscroll and simply focus on what is directly in front of me (abandoning twitter has helped)

trans people are cool and based, and anyone who thinks otherwise is lame and icky

I somehow got sick twice in the span of a single month 😭

the internet used to be an escape from my day to day life and an opportunity to explore the person I wanted to be now it's almost the inverse, where my day to day life has become an escape from the hostility of the internet

depression is dumb and I hate it

y'know if I'd had like an ounce of confidence a few years ago, maybe I'd have been a more successful youtuber we run it back I guess lol

might fuck around and renew my passion for anime and making videos lol

the last few years have not been great to me, but I made a lot of tough changes in 2024, so hopefully this year is a better one for me setting some more concrete goals for myself in 2025 in the hopes of actually hitting them

ranma 1/2 is like there's this genderfluid guy literally just minding his own business while there are at least 10 other people playing ranked fuck-marry-kill where all 3 options are him

relearning and internalizing that I have people who care about me is one of the hardest things I've had to do

started journaling recently if I'm lucky, maybe it'll help me write scripts easier lol