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matthew-sherman.bsky.social
The bones are their money
30 posts 22 followers 109 following
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Posts 17 Comments 13

I wonder if there's an alternate universe where I get so mad about losing in the district tennis quarterfinals that I land a government contract for my efforts to ban left-handed people with kick serves from owning property

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Say what you will but Drake's new single "Let's Agree To Call It A Tie" goes pretty hard

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

Luka to the Lakers was a bigger watershed internet moment than Trump getting his ear blown off

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I thought we all agreed that "How much Nazi is too much Nazi?" was discourse reserved for the old place. Please just let me log on here while I'm supposed to be working and read "pee is stored in the balls" for eternity

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

What if we brought back Old Testament God but made him too dumb to even competently plagiarize Wikipedia articles?

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

I'm immune to being manipulated by a terrorist to help him pull of a massive crime because I'd walk into traffic before he finished giving me the first instruction

submitted 70 days ago • 1 comment

The college football playoff needs a ton of fixing already but it's very funny to make rich alumni pay thousands of dollars to fly to some of the bleakest spots in the country and freeze their nuts off while their teams get absolutely humiliated

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

The second I read they brought him in alive I knew he wasn't a leftist

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments

Wait... I was at a kids' production of Annie for the past 4 hours. The Ducks brought down Assad by winning the Big-10? Is that what I'm seeing?

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

This reminds me of the single craziest game I ever covered in 14 years of high school sports. Tyner ran for 643 yds and 10 TDs while Dungey threw for nearly 400 yds and accounted for 6 TDs on the other side sports.yahoo.com/blogs/prep-r...

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

It really feels like healthcare CEO assassin is going to be a growing industry

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

Bluesky very much feels like stumbling into a high school party with all of the popular kids and standing in the corner with an unopened beer, too nervous to try and join anyone's conversation

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

What's something that you know is terrible for you but that you'd still really like to try sometime? Mine is having money

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

There aren't as many songs dealing with the issue of her being lump as there used to be

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments

I only respect people who hold at least one wild outlier belief in their politics. For example I'm a far leftist who low-key thinks alcohol should be illegal

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments

Getting in trouble at the doctor's office for referring to my terrible diet and lack of exercise as a "Gentleman's Suicide"

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments

Being a teen in the 90s was great because all of the best music had lyrics like "Shine your shoes with your microphone blues. Hirsutes with your parachute fruits" and we were like "This is the only person on the planet who understands me"

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments