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maxhyde.bsky.social
🇨🇦Inconvenient, unconventional fucking shitshow Pieces of Ass:: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2tvktomngcsqeilk2nv6rkpc/feed/aaalqek5hxq6w New shit from Ass:: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2tvktomngcsqeilk2nv6rkpc/feed/aaaebh7vouzfi
1,685 posts 2,414 followers 1,867 following
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Posts 46 Comments 1

all i need is beauty and a little bit of rage

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

I see someone has written SJW and my brain immediately reads that as Sarah Jessica Parker because my brain is fried my friends

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

A super villain that seduces men, but she is built different. Instead of vagina dentata she has like, a gland that excretes liquid nitrogen, and freezes his dick while it's in her, then when he freaks and pulls out she kicks and shatters it. Call her Ice Queen or something

submitted 2 days ago • 10 comments

“I didn’t vote for this, I voted for the other types of cruelty.”

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

Love eating cherries because spitting should be part of every meal.

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

You realize a robot asks you to pick out tree pictures to make sure you are not a robot.

submitted 3 days ago • 10 comments

we are all, every one of us, falling asleep from the moment we wake up

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

There is always a tweet.

submitted 3 days ago • 69 comments

today feels like a good day to ignore the news

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Traditionally, Tuesdays are for the Titties and Tummies Huge fan of both, hoping to see many 👀

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

owning the conservatives by sticking a butthole-shaped fleshlight into a real butthole then sticking a flashlight into the fleshlight but then aborting the whole move before it gets weird

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

“I take no joy in your misfortune,” I lied.

submitted 508 days ago • 1 comment

*snuffs out a cigarette and exhales* here’s the thing, if I start posting moobs again, you’ll never put your phone down and you already spend too much time on it I don’t want that on my conscious

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

repeating my typo to myself like i'm chanting a rosary in a film while the killer is putting an axe thru my door

submitted 7 days ago • 6 comments

I need a new ass - this one is flat and has a hole in it.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I may have lost weight but I’m still the biggest bitch you know

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

it’s funny when people get mad at shitposters for not talking about the news, like sorry give me a minute to think of some good Iran jokes

submitted 3 days ago • 22 comments

I wish there were an app that lets me scan a product to see if a podcaster launched it, so I know not to buy it.

submitted 3 days ago • 7 comments

I just put forks between my fisted fingers and clawed at the air like Wolverine, and then it occurred to me this is why i'm not getting the sex.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

people take this place way too seriously like it's not that deep i just post when i have something funny to say and when i don't

submitted 4 days ago • 9 comments

Sorry I woke up at 2am and started freaking out about skeletons again man

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

blocking tedious people is so good

submitted 5 days ago • 12 comments

i woke up way too fucking early

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

I’m not so much a ride or die friend as I am a ride or cancel plans at the last minute because I wasn’t feeling it friend

submitted 3 days ago • 6 comments

Woke up today at 6 am but for some reason to in my brain it was 6 pm and i missed all of Tuesday. Bad way to wake up, ask my 21 who i also woke up and told he missed a whole day too. 🥲😭

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

The final season of Earth is starting, and so is summer, so I guess I'll be making even worse decisions than I was already planning on...

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

Up early snorting fucking plant jizz all by yourself baby?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

This account is now exclusively for deep thoughts and buttholes. Sometimes both at once.

submitted 3 days ago • 30 comments

Sometimes I have a hard time not falling in love with people who repost my butthole jokes.

submitted 3 days ago • 14 comments

a business card that says ‘spaced out’

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

If you like this content please sign up for my week long retreat titled “How to recycle your tweets from 2018”

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Welcome to your 50's, love and support no longer involves orgasms.

submitted 3 days ago • 19 comments

but baby, i call you my specimen as a compliment

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

my dogs probably think i'm an idiot for only sleeping once a day

submitted 3 days ago • 9 comments

Awful time to be alive but truly an amazing time to be a hater

submitted 3 days ago • 37 comments

I do have abs. They're just introverts.

submitted 3 days ago • 8 comments

Eyes like ice but still so warm.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

a curse that makes it so no matter how much you rinse your hair you never get all the shampoo out

submitted 3 days ago • 11 comments

"It's my birthday! Give me attention!" *unfollows*

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

Please let me touch you, love you and keep you in my basement, I say to the stray cat I feed every morning.

submitted 3 days ago • 13 comments

Sure I'll do fucking yoga with you but I'm staring at your fucking ass every chance I get

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

A sight not often seen in Australia ~Cooma, New South Wales

submitted 6 days ago • 7 comments

I meet new fucking people that feel familiar all the fucking time, someday I fucking hope it's you

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I certainly have a lot of shoes on the floor for someone who’s going nowhere.

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

I’ll probably never tell my kids that those tears of joy I cried on Fathers Day actually were for one of my posts hitting the 2k likes mark.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

It's official. Sept 3-Sept 23... Lemongrass does Ireland... well, like does, not Does. Fuck.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments