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maxwattage.bsky.social
Wannabe Fairy Godmother
75 posts 54 followers 39 following
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Posts 29 Comments 21

I went to a Japanese restaurant, and the waitress tried to chat me up. She said: "Is that a sushi roll in your pocket? Or are you just happy sashimi?"

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

I can cheer it up.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Ewww, it smells of P-orbitals

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

True story: Once, when I was queuing in a staff cafeteria, the guy in front of me looked at the tray of grilled chicken pieces on offer and complained to the waitress "You have chicken legs but no breasts", and she looked him up and down and just said "Well I am 63". 😂

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

I need to buy a new doorbell transformer. I'm going to call it Optimus Chime.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Don't be afraid of Egyptian ships, their barque is worse than their bite.

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

You are not alone. There are more decent and helpful people in the world than schmucks and haters. Call out. Work together. Stare down the jerks and start making this a better world. (From @foxes-in-love.bsky.social)

submitted 40 days ago • 11 comments

I've decided to invest in false-teeth manufacturing. I'm a denture capitalist.

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

He couldn't change his name back again because, some things, once Sean, cannot be un-Sean.

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 34 days ago • 3 comments

To this day, Captain Hook remains undefeated, because Peter Pan's punches never-land.

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

This video should have ended with a Prayer to Ukko, (the God of sky and thunder), followed by the Mortal Combat voice shouting the words "Finnish Hymn".

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Reminder: They're trying to demoralize you, and they're doing a great job of it. Part of resisting is making time for joy despite the attempts to make you feel this is not the time for it. Love your people. Dig the art that speaks to you. Go to the places where life flows into you. You deserve joy.

submitted 36 days ago • 303 comments

In the USA, DC isn't a perfect square because √(DC) is X.√(VI) in its lowest radical form.

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

Never make fun of people's teeth. Any tooth-related jokes I make are entirely acci-dental.

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

Cleansing your timeline with the annual Minnesota Name-A-Snowplow contest:

submitted 38 days ago • 8 comments

This is emote -> 😀 This is an emute -> 🤐

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

My pin of the day

submitted 39 days ago • 5 comments

"You will have dyed your hair pink", is an example of the fuchsia-perfect tense.

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

Acoustics is the field of study resulting from the initial discovery that the sounds made by Pigeons are absorbed rather than being reflected. "A-coo-sticks"

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Hey. I love you.

submitted 525 days ago • 1 comment

I have the sudden urge to open a fancy fish shop with chandeliers, called "So-fish-stick-ated".

submitted 44 days ago • 1 comment

The Egyptian king of compromise was Pharoah Nuff Mate

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

[SATIRE 100]

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

sometimes walmart's inspirational Luigi wall sticker is all that keeps me going some days

submitted 58 days ago • 81 comments

Well, it looks like BlueSky is the last social media platform to encourage common decency, politeness, and empathy. I have now deleted all my Facebook, Instagram and Threads content, and mothballed those accounts to prevent my username from being misused. Context: www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

My Word of the Day is "Lacunarity" Lacunarity is a geometric term that measures how patterns fill space, particularly fractals. It's a measure of how "clumpy" or heterogeneous a pattern is, and how much the subregions of a pattern differ from each other.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Tonight's UK weather warning from the metoffice. Remember folks, don't eat the yellow snow.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

I've always wanted two sausage dogs called "Fro" and "Too" respectively. I'd love to watch them in the park, Dachshund Too and Fro.

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments